what you really want in life

The more stuff you get, the less you understand what you really want.

When you realize that all those things you bought don’t make you happy, there is one question that crosses your minds: “What do I really want?”

Once you discover your true purpose in life, it will be easy for you to direct all plans towards it. Your days will become more organized and you’ll feel complete. The question is: how do you discover that purpose? There are 10 methods that can help you get there and find what you really want.

1. Don’t buy everything you think you need

We devote important portions of our energy to maintain two vehicles, too much furniture in the apartment, and a closet full of clothes we hardly wear. Think about it: do you really need that new jacket when you already have few you don’t wear that often? If you do, then there is no question about it – go get it. If, on the other hand, you’re buying things to fill the emptiness you feel inside, you’re doing everything wrong. Try to realize where that gap comes from.

When we learn how to detach ourselves from material possessions, we will focus on our true needs.

2. Learn!

Instead of wasting time on Facebook and Twitter, we can use our online presence productively. There are many open sources of knowledge on the Internet. Some of the ones you can try are Coursera, OpenCourseWare, Ted, Khan Academy, and Livemocha.

If you don’t know what career path you want to direct yourself to, you can experiment with different online courses until you find your true calling.

3. Go back to your childhood dreams

What did you want to become when you were a kid? You probably didn’t think about fame and fortune then. You wanted friends, love, and a fun profession. If there is any space for achieving those goals, it’s time to do something about it.

4. Meditate

Meditation is possibly the best technique to help you discover your inner needs and wants. When you realize that meditation masters only teach you to sit in quiet, you might think it would be easy. Don’t expect to reach enlightenment after few meditative sessions. If you’ve never tried this technique, you’ll be surprised how hard it is to quiet your mind. It will object. The most unnecessary thoughts will come to the surface and you’ll have to let them pass.

After many attempts and hard work that might take years, your mind will become calmer. That’s when you’ll be able to realize what you have deep inside.

5. Ask yourself: “Why am I unhappy?”

Do you feel beaten down by life? Why? Maybe you don’t like your job? Maybe you have friends that are sucking your energy away? Maybe your partner is not making you happy? In order to figure out what you really want, you need to remove the obstacles that are preventing you from being happy. Make some changes and you’ll make room for a brighter future.

6. Accept help

Your ego has difficulties to accept a helping hand when you most need it. No matter what your goals for the future are, you will definitely need a supportive network of people who love you. Accept their assistance without any conditions.

7. Think about your problems and seek for a solution

Instead of thinking about where you want to be in a year, focus your attention on the problems that are burdening you right now. Can you do something to solve them? If yes, then do it. If the problems and solutions don’t depend on you, there is only one thing you’re left with: acceptance. It’s time to move on.

8. Be adventurous

Instead of spending your days in the usual routine, do something different. Book a ticket and visit the destination you always wanted to see. Not ready for a huge adventure? Then make small lifestyle changes, like meeting new people, reading a new type of literature, or watching weird movies.

It’s important to move away from your usual habits to discover new interests. Then, you’ll be closer to the ultimate realization.

9. Determine your main moral values

Take a piece of paper and write down everything you believe in. Do you possess all those characteristics? If not, you need to become that person you want to be.

10. Be a complete person

Do you act like another person when you’re at work, at home, and at parties? Do you behave differently when you’re alone, with friends, and with people you want to impress? All those masks hide your true self. That’s exactly why you can’t figure out what you really want.

You are the same person in every situation in life. All previous methods guide you to this one: connect the dots and don’t be afraid to let your true persona shine through.

You Can Always Be the Person You Want to Be

How many times have you wished for something really, really hard? When you finally got it, you felt the satisfaction for a day or two, but went back to your usual state of incompleteness right after? Our wishes and thoughts are not always ours. They are imposed by the society. We don’t really want all those perfumes, gadgets and shoes we see in online stores.

The way to personal accomplishment starts with identifying our true needs. Once we get that part covered, we can take real actions towards a brighter future.


Maria Castle is freelance writer and social media expert. She writes articles and creative essays for Scholar Advisor, an educational portal made by students for students. Maria is passionate about writing, travelling and self-improvement.

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