Often, empaths feel lost and confused about their gifts. However, it is possible to feel secure and happy and make the most of your empathetic abilities.
As an empath, you are probably extremely sensitive to the emotions and energy of other people, animals, and places. You have the ability to feel the energy field of others. You literally feel their pain. Unfortunately, empathy is not always valued as much as it should be in this society. Therefore, empaths often suppress, block or deny their empathetic tendencies out of fear of rejection. This can cause empaths to feel lost, vulnerable and alone.
There are several reasons you may feel lost as an empath. But luckily, there are also some simple ways to heal these feelings.
1. You can’t distinguish between your own pain and that of others
Sometimes as empaths we feel a wave of overwhelming emotion coming from others. You could be waiting in line and suddenly feel the pain of the person next to you wash through you. This can be excruciating. I have at times had to find the nearest restroom to have a good cry after such an encounter. The pain we experience when our loved ones are suffering can be even worse. This can lead us to become fearful and anxious, as we never know when we will experience these painful feelings. We can consciously or unconsciously attempt to numb our senses to prevent us from feeling so deeply. We can also become quite reclusive in our attempts to avoid the emotions of others. This is a shame because we also miss out on sharing joy and excitement with others.
Often, we can feel sad or upset and not even know the reason. If we are unable to distinguish our own feelings from that of others, we will absorb stress and pain around us, and suffer from being overwhelmed and exhausted. This can result in unexplainable mood swings and unpredictable energy levels. It also triggers physical symptoms such as headaches and fatigue.
It’s little wonder that empaths often feel lost and try to numb themselves to these powerful emotions. Unfortunately, numbing ourselves to pain also numbs us to joy and we can end up feeling depressed and low.
What to do
The best way to begin to distinguish our own pain from that of others is to get to know ourselves better. Spending time meditating our journaling can help us to do this. Once we truly know ourselves, we can begin to distinguish our own pain from that of others.
Once we can tell what is ours from what is not, we can make decisions about how to deal with these emotions. Being clear about which emotions do not belong to us doesn’t mean we become cold and uncaring. We can still understand how others are feeling and we are actually in a better position to help others when we are less overwhelmed.
To make a start on clearing the energies of others from yourself you can take a sea salt bath. This helps to clear away energies that are not yours and grounds you back into your body. If you feel that there are negative energies in your physical surroundings, you can dispel them with incense or sage smudging. Spending more time in nature will help with this process too.
If you are in a situation where you know you will be spending time with people who are distraught and in pain, you can practice a protection meditation beforehand. Sit in a comfortable, upright position and take a few deep breaths. Then imagine yourself surrounded by a bubble of golden light. Stay in this bubble of light breathing deeply for a few minutes. You can count your breaths if you have trouble staying focused and find your mind wandering.
2. You try to block or reduce your sensitivity to be acceptable to others
Perhaps you have been told you are too sensitive or emotional. Perhaps you have even been medicated for anxiety or a mood disorder. People may have even called you ‘too much’ or even crazy. Unsurprisingly when we feel like our personalities are not acceptable to others, we often feel lost and try to hide our sensitive natures and stuff down the emotions that others find so difficult to cope with. We try to fit in and be acceptable to others in order to be loved and respected.
What to do
If you feel lost because you have avoided your true feelings, you need to work on respecting and loving yourself just the way you are. Many people are empaths and this is a gift and a skill. Empaths can be great at reconciling others, reducing friction and solving disagreements. They are also very caring and often work to help other people, animals, and nature. Sometimes embracing an aspect of our empathetic nature can help us heal. We can volunteer at a charity, rescue an abandoned cat or give to a cause we believe in. In this way, we build on using our empathy skills.
Self-acceptance is key to overcoming the feelings of inadequacy that an empath living in modern society can feel. Find sources that support you, whether by talking to others, reading around the subject or connecting to people online. You can also try writing down all the good things about you and all the achievements you have made. Often we focus on what we did wrong and fail to celebrate our strengths and successes. Another powerful practice to achieve self-acceptance is to look in the mirror, look yourself right in the eye and into your soul and say “I love and accept myself” Do this twice every day.
3. You had an unsafe or unpredictable childhood
Many empaths developed their skills as a necessary survival skill during childhood. If the adults around you were unpredictable, perhaps violent or emotionally unstable, you would have developed the skills to read every minute change in their emotions. This could help you to get out of the way if the situation was about to get difficult.
What to do
If you feel lost because of an unpredictable childhood, you need to work on your feelings of vulnerability and insecurity. You are an adult now and can take care of yourself. You are not at the mercy of others’ emotions. If anyone behaves in a way you don’t like, you can walk away. But of course, all relationships have their ups and downs. As a result of your experiences, any argument or confrontation may make you feel frightened, vulnerable, lost and alone.
Any grounding practice can help you to feel more safe and secure. Spend more time in nature and introduce natural elements to your home with plants and natural soothing colors. Walk barefoot on the earth if you can.
You can also practice the following grounding technique.
Stand straight with your feet on the earth if possible. Imagine a white light coming into the top of your head and down through your spine, then further down both your legs. Then imagine this light seeping out of the soles of your feet like the roots of a tree. This light is grounding you to the earth. Repeat the mantra ‘I am safe and secure’ as many times as you like while breathing deeply.
Being an empath does come with its problems. However, it is also a gift and a skill. As an empath, you will probably find that your friends come to you for help and guidance. You will also have a highly developed sense of intuition and will know when anyone is lying to you. Once you develop your skills and find your balance, you may begin to see your empathy as more of a gift than a burden.
Let us know if you have any techniques that help your deal with feeling lost as an empath.
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