communication problemsHave you ever had problems in maintaining a conversation with other people, despite the fact that you consider yourself a pretty smart person?

If so, then most likely this left you puzzled and you were surprised by your own inactivity, since you know so many interesting things.

The fact is that social skills and intelligence do not necessarily go hand in hand.

In fact, people with an average level of intelligence can often keep up small talk better than those who are much smarter than them.

Many smart people are unsuccessful in maintaining interesting conversations and have poor social skills.

Why does this happen?
  • Smart people are often perfectionists. They are very demanding of themselves in all that they do. When they believe that they have failed at something, they strongly reproach themselves. If they think that they can not support a good conversation, they become even more nervous and withdrawn. This concern prevents them from being able to relax and enjoy the conversation.
  • Smart people spend most of their lives striving for intellectual advancement, but forget to develop their social and emotional sides. They may think that the development of social and emotional skills is not very important, or may simply feel that at a certain point, it is too late to begin to develop these new and complex skills.
  • They may be extremely serious and believe that they should only devote time and discussion to serious things instead of wasting it on trifles. This leads to them quickly losing interest in the conversation if they notice that it lacks real substance.
  • In some cases, people with above average intelligence feel superior to others, and think that there is no sense to waste their time on people who do not deserve to talk to them. They can be real snobs.
  • Many smart people are very shy or have poor self-esteem, which makes them feel that they are not interesting people. High intelligence and high self-esteem are not always linked.
  • Some very smart people, especially those strong in science and mathematics in particular, may suffer from what is called Asperger’s syndrome. It is believed that this is related to autism and can manifest itself in different ways.Quite often people who are subjects to Asperger’s syndrome, to some extent, can be very effective when they focus on scientific matters, but uncapable to establish social interactions that other people take for granted. Such people usually speak in a terse, “mechanical” way and show almost no interest in the emotional lives of others.

Intelligence is just one aspect of humanity. No matter how smart a person is, a lack of social interaction skills may adversely affect his life and career.



So what to do if you are one of those people who are pretty smart but have difficulty communicating with others?

First, you have to ask yourself if developing your communication skills is something that you really want or need?

If the answer is “no”, then there is no sense to try to improve them.

If the answer is “yes”, then you really can improve your speaking skills, develop the ability to enjoy small talk and have a nice relationship with other people.

You have to devote yourself to practicing new skills and change your attitudes towards yourself and others. Taking on such commitments, you are likely to become much more successful in different areas of your life.



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Anna LeMind

Anna LeMind

Anna is the founder and lead editor of the website Learning-mind.com. She is passionate about learning new things and reflecting on thought-provoking ideas. She writes about science, psychology and other related topics. She is particularly interested in topics regarding introversion, consciousness and subconscious, perception, human mind's potential, as well as the nature of reality and the universe.