How to get people to do what you want, within reasonable limits, of course? For example, you may need to convince your boss that you are the right person for a promotion or want to ask for a favor and are unsure if the other person will help you.
It turns out there are a few psychological tricks you can use to persuade someone. They are by no means devious manipulation techniques for taking advantage of others but rather ways to convince people to help you in daily situations.
How to Get People to Do What You Want with Psychological Tricks
1. Reaction to kindness, or Benjamin Franklin effect
History tells us that Benjamin Franklin wanted to befriend a person who did not really like him. This person was looking for a rare book, which was in Franklin’s possession.
When Benjamin became aware of this, he let this person borrow this rare book, and when the book was returned to the owner, Benjamin simply thanked him. As a result, they became best friends.
As Franklin used to say: “Those for whom you’ve done good once will be ready to respond with much more good than you offered”…
2. Try asking for more than you actually need to get
This idea is very simple and is akin to trading on the market. This will never fail to work for you. You have to augment your needs if you are of interest to someone.
First, you will most likely get refused. Do not give up, and give it some time. In 95% of cases, the person who is interested in you will eventually respond and offer a little less than you originally asked for, but it is guaranteed to be higher than you initially wanted to receive.
3. Conditioned desire to help
This idea is very similar to the previous one. In order to make someone to have an authentic and willful desire to help you, ask them once to do something for you that they may not be capable of doing.
Having been refused, you have created for yourself a person who will feel owing to you. Most likely, they will feel like helping you other times because they will have a guilty feeling of not being able to help in the first place.
Flattering is ubiquitous. For starters, learn to understand that flattery should look natural, otherwise it may bring more negative outcomes than positive.
If you try to play along with someone who has high self-esteem, then you have better chances of succeeding. People of this type love themselves and love flattery, and they do not seem to notice it. But those who have low self-esteem may see trickery and deceit when you try to make them feel better.
When you want to be liked by someone, try to mimic them. Individuals possessing these traits are always treated by society as chameleons when it is noticeable how they constantly change and adjust to each new individual they meet. However, this skill can be a useful tool to attract the right people who are of interest to you.
This trick is very common among comedians and masters of parody. All of the celebrities who have been parodied on TV screens are often good friends to these actors and comedians.
6. Ask for a favor when the other person is tired
When someone is tired, he or she is more responsive to your requests. The answer lies in the fact that when people get tired, they are exhausted not only physically, but often mentally.
If your boss is tired, he or she can easily allow you to finish your work the next day, which you should finish on time and with quality. This will add more respect and praise from your boss. Mainly because you kept your promise and integrity.
7. Begin by asking for small favors
Quite simply, ask for a small favor in the beginning, and you will likely open the gate for more credit. According to this principle, people often become dependent while participating in volunteerism.
For example, at first, you may be asked to take part in the movement against deforestation, which you support, then respond to more and more requests. It is a small favor, but you are gradually conditioned to give more.
Suddenly, you are ready to support efforts against deforestation in distant Tanzania or join some “green” party and make contributions.
8. Try not to correct people if they are wrong
In his world-known book, Dale Carnegie suggests not to chastise people for their apparent human errors, at least not when you have just discovered those. If you are concerned with other people’s wrongfulness, approach it very carefully.
Even if you are faced with a whiner, who blames everybody but themselves for their troubles, do not shout it in their face. Try to agree with their opinion for the time being, and then gradually try to change this viewpoint. Otherwise, you may face the risk of becoming this person’s worst enemy.
9. Repeat phrases and expressions of people who are important to you
This trick resembles the principle of “chameleon” when people mimic gestures and facial expressions of the person they are interested in. Words can be pleasant to the ear if they sound like an echo. Try saying what this person has already mentioned.
10. Nodding helps
Scientists discovered that when people nod while listening to someone, they most likely tend to agree with the speaker. They also found that when someone nods in front of someone speaking, the person who speaks, much like a parrot, will repeat the same words over and over again.
Thereby, nodding provokes the listener’s unconditional agreement.
To sum up, it’s quite easy to get people to do what you want if we are talking about asking for favors and getting some help in trivial daily situations.
Use the above information wisely – after all, you don’t want to become manipulative. The above tricks are intended to be used to build a rapport, convince someone, and make other people like you, not to take advantage of others.
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