persuasionThe need to convince one’s interlocutors appears in every sphere of life: in home conflicts and family disputes, as well as in business negotiations. The ancient art of persuasion now is more popular by the terms NLP (neuro-linguistic programming), which is a general approach to communication and self-improvement, and covert hypnosis (conversational hypnosis), which is an ability to influence other people’s unconscious mind. Some people intuitively use NLP and covert hypnosis techniques without having ever heard of these terms, others study them in costly seminars. Here are a few simple tips on how to convince your interlocutor:

1. Be attentive to your interlocutor. Try to understand his personal inclinations and his point of view on issues important to you. Talk about what he is interested in. If you are not familiar with this topic, ask questions that show that the conversation has interested you. If you are bored, try to catch hold of some phrase, after which it will be possible to turn the conversation to an important topic for you.

2. If from the beginning you were very friendly and attentive, you can hope for a favorable course of the conversation. Keep talking as if you were asking a council of wise and experienced person. A thin compliment will help you win his sympathy.

3. Once the interlocutor made sure of your unconditional respect and recognition of his authority, try to carefully and gently suggest him your point of view. Make him believe that it was his own idea. If your interlocutor is smart and insightful, just ask him what he thinks of this version of events. At the same time, list those advantages that are obvious to you, but do it softly and gently, especially when you know that the person initially is a supporter of another option.

4. If a dispute arises, do not try to shout your interlocutor down, but always remain polite and friendly. If the dispute is not of vital importance, and you see that your opponent is not easy to convince, it is better to finish the debate with phrases like: “Time will tell” or “We’ll see”. If you want to persuade him to your point of view, start looking for common ground – something that you both agree on. Stress that you have a lot in common. Then, if the opponent does not agree immediately, at least he will have a friendly attitude to you, and you will have a chance to subsequently reach a compromise.

5. Dale Carnegie has given a great piece of advice: “If you go fishing, you do not put your favorite raspberry jam on the hook, but you put what fish likes“. Try to convince your interlocutor that the cooperation with you will be convenient and profitable.

Anna LeMind, B.A.

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