We all face ill-wishers, when we set goals and begin to reach them, no matter at what stage we are now: sceptics, critics, people who taunt us or say that we won’t succeed in what we do.

Such people are a very powerful force, because even with “innocent” jokes and comments they can make you slow down or even stop moving towards your goals.

How to deal with ill-wishers? Of course, they are all different, but here are a few good general tips:

1. First, learn to identify them.

Sometimes we just do not realize that someone is our ill-wisher. They can be close friends or family members, so when they say negative things, we often believe them and take them to heart. You should remember that there is a big difference between realists and sceptics. Learn to listen to what others say, and note your reaction. If that upsets you and makes you feel depressed, then probably these people are your ill-wishers.

2. Think maybe they are right.

As was mentioned above, sometimes they are just trying to be realistic. They may have good reasons for their negative attitude. Take a step back and think objectively why they have doubts and see a real obstacle, and if so, then try to figure out how to overcome it. If you really want to reach your goal, you will find a solution. If your ill-wishers are certainly wrong, just move on.

3. Reject any negative thoughts they bring.

Enemies will always try to bring to you their negative thoughts, which can raise doubts about your rightness. Then it can grow and affect the way you feel about your goals. Stop these negative thoughts as soon as possible! Replace them with positive beliefs. Do not let them beat you!

4. Understand that you will always have enemies, and don’t take them to heart

In everyone’s life there is at least one enemy. You can not avoid seeing them but you can avoid listening to them. Just smile and do not pay attention to their words. They will not be able to affect you if you ignore their words.

5. Try to win them over.

Sometimes ill-wishers are your close people and you can’t ignore them. If so, it is better to enlist the help of these people, rather than fight them. Try to do it as soon as possible. Tell them that it is very important to you, and you need their help. Tell them that you understand their concerns, but you really need a positive attitude and support. If they are your close people who care about you, they will become your best allies.

6. Laugh with them.

Sometimes people feel uncomfortable when you take some changes and in order to get rid of this discomfort, they come up with different jokes and begin to taunt you. They just do not know how else to react. Be aware of this and just laugh. If you take their words as nothing more but just a good joke, it disarms them. They can continue making jokes at you, but it won’t longer affect you if you’ll just laugh at them.

7. Have ready-made counter-arguments and use them.

Sometimes people are just misinformed about what is happening. They may misunderstand what you are doing. Think on all their arguments and prepare your counter-arguments. Conduct your small research and justify the correctness of your actions. Then try to “enlighten” your ill-wishers. If you do it correctly, with a positive and sincere attitude, you can manage to make a person listen to you, and perhaps even change his opinion. If you fail, then at least you will be much better informed about their arguments and won’t let them give birth to doubts in your head.

8. Be sure that you are doing something good.

Sometimes there is nothing you can do about it. You can’t convince them, you can’t avoid them, you can’t laugh with them… Therefore, you should just ignore them and continue telling yourself that when you reach your goal, it will be a reward for enduring these people.

Remember that enemies will always exist in your life. But they are just an additional obstacle on the way towards your goal. If you look for solutions, you can defeat them or make them your allies.

Anna LeMind, B.A.

Copyright © 2012-2020 Learning Mind. All rights reserved. For permission to reprint, contact us.

This Post Has 15 Comments

  1. Avatar
    ALPHY JOSEPH

    i HAVE DIFFICULTY DEALING WITH MY 2 ELDER COUSINS… THEY TAKE FUN OF ME EVERYTIME. THEY LAUGH AT MY IMPERFECTIONS AND TRIES TO BRING ME DOWN…. PLEASE TELL A WAY TO EFFECTIVLEY DEAL WITH THEM , WITHOUT MAKING THEM FEEL WEIRD

    1. Avatar
      parameswari

      They are jealous of you.
      What ever you do they will continue the same. They never stop doing this.because they are your enemies.stay away from them .then they become happy.they dont want u and ur living thoughts.

    2. Avatar
      Klin

      With there jokes ,try to make it intresting and be patient .laugh together with them ,make that thing look normal,let it be part and parcel of your life.i was once in that situation but worsened with the whole school.My friend take courage

  2. Avatar
    Sports Boss

    If you have an enemy and they taunting you along with other people, don’t go telling others about it. It causes chaos. Act like they your friend. It annoys them. Remember there goal is to bring you down. Don’t let that happened!

  3. Avatar
    Ehsan ali

    People certainly go through this condition in their lives but it doesnt mean they start thinking and taking to their hearts. They must look for all possible options they have and take it lightly .

  4. Avatar
    raul sally

    it is useful article hopefully there are people out there they found it useful.

  5. Avatar
    sirius dude

    what if my enemies was capitalism, this articel do not help at all.

  6. Avatar
    Sikyewunda Sylvia

    They think smart

  7. Avatar
    Tuei kipngeno

    It is a very good and useful article i like it

  8. Avatar
    Tuei kipngeno

    What if my enemy is not giving up talking untrue or bad things about me

  9. Avatar
    Kathy Watts

    You can’t stop people from talking because they are in titled to their opinion, right or wrong. What matters is your response. The bible tells us to pray for our enemies, I know that might be strange but in reality they are ignorant. Some people are just miserable and can’t stand for anything to go right for nobody. I know it’s hard! I live with it everyday on my job but overtime Ive learned to laugh at their ignorance because in the end the battle is not yours, it is the Lord….Keep praying asking God to give you the strength to overcome😀

    1. Avatar
      Patti_G.

      Thank you, Kathy.

  10. Avatar
    Crystal

    Hi Kathy , that was a awesome answer. God bless you dearly.

  11. Avatar
    Just Thinking

    The true enemies in our lives are these three: The world, the flesh, and the devil. You can fight these things if you recognize what they are. The world has an attraction that causes us to be tempted away from loving God and what is wright. Our flesh is weak, and it lacks self control, so we have to overcome the flesh. The Devil is roaring around, seeking whom he may devour – he’s kind of toothless, but if you give an inch, he’ll take you for a mile or for your life if you don’t wake up. So rebuke the devil and he will flee. Exercise self control of you natural flesh and you will be victorious over your own faults. Guard your tongue. Resist temptation to do what you know is sin and does not please God. and 1 2 3 you will have won over your enemies and you will be walking in victory. This is all through the power of Christ Jesus our Lord, who died and took all the sin of this world on his shoulders so that you can be free in Him! It’s not about the people or the relationships eventually – it’s about the fact that we don’t love because we have not seen or known the Love of God or recognized it yet. This is our life’s challenge, from birth to dying breath, to cover the three things, through faith. When we pray for our enemies, we do exactly the opposite of what the flesh would want us to do, and by doing so, we break the bondage that Satan has over us and them. The Devil is NEVER right, and you have a conscience God gave you to discern between good and evil. Exercise it. If you have a true enemy it looks like Death, behaves like Death, and is out to kill you, figuratively or in the natural sense. But with Christ, we have overcome the fear of Death.

  12. Avatar
    Chi

    What if this enemy is your husband and he uses your past to taunt you? What if you did something that he can’t forgive and he frustrates your very existence?

Leave a Reply