Am I an introvert?
I wish I had asked myself this question when I was a teenager. But back then, I had no idea what an introvert is. I was convinced that something was wrong with me. I thought that my difficulties with social interaction were due to some flaws in my personality.
Are you feeling the same way? In this case, I’m here to help you figure out what an introvert is and whether you are one. And most importantly, I’m here to assure you that there is nothing wrong with you.
What Is an Introvert? The Definition
An introvert is a person who gains energy from solitary activities and gives it away during social interaction. For this reason, we may find too much communication with other people draining.
‘Am I an Introvert?’ 30 Unmistakable Signs That You Have an Introvert Personality
Below are the signs to help you understand whether you are an introvert or not. How many can you relate to?
1. You are rarely bored alone
One of the key signs that you are an introvert is that you enjoy your own company. You always find something to fill your time with and rarely feel bored when being on your own. Thus, you have no problem to stay alone at home on a Friday night while everyone else is going out.
2. You keep your social circle small but high quality
An introvert doesn’t feel the need to have multiple connections here and there. If you are one, then you are most likely to have just a couple of good, loyal friends. An introvert’s definition of a friend is someone who knows the real you and there is such a level of trust between you that you can share the most intimate things with each other.
Otherwise, being friends with a person just doesn’t make sense. The depth of communication is what counts for an introvert personality. If you can’t discuss meaningful topics or confide something personal in someone, you don’t consider them a friend and won’t have them in your social circle.
3. You prefer one-to-one communication
It’s a myth that introverts don’t like talking to other people. However, we prefer communication in more intimate settings, such as going for a coffee with our best friend or a movie night with our family. So if you ask yourself, Am I an introvert? you know that you are one if you enjoy one-to-one communication most of all. It allows you to build a genuine connection with another person.
4. You prefer small groups of people over big ones
I always say that the magic of communication gets lost in big groups. At least, for me, it’s true, as well as for many other introverts.
Big groups may sound like a lot of fun for some people, but for an introvert, it’s just a loud gathering that lacks essence. Think about it. Can you really have a deep conversation on a personal topic in a big group? Because this is the type of communication introverts seek. Large gatherings are good for joking around and having fun, but they don’t give you the opportunity to get to know other people on a deep level.
5. You are open and easygoing with your family and friends but quiet and reserved with people you don’t know well
My family members often say, “How can’t you talk to other people, you are so easygoing!” However, the truth is that I am easygoing only with the people I love and trust.
If you are an introvert, you will never be the soul of the company when surrounded by strangers but can be fun and talkative in the circle of your closest friends. And this is not because introverts are hypocrites. We simply have a different level of psychological comfort around different people.
6. You need some alone time to recharge your emotional batteries after a social event
This is one of the key signs of an introvert personality. If you just had a good deal of social interaction, you will feel emotionally, mentally, and maybe even physically tired. Even if you are enjoying yourself at a social event, at some point, you just feel that you’ve had enough of it and it’s time to withdraw. You go home, take a bath, and spend time reading your favorite book or just relaxing in your bed, not seeing or talking to anyone. And it feels heavenly. This is how you recharge.
7. You hate small talk
This is probably one of the most misunderstood traits of introverts, which makes other people think that we are snobby or uninterested in them. There is nothing worse for an introvert than the necessity to have small talk. You hate to ask and to be asked questions such as ‘How are you?’ and discuss meaningless topics like how the weather is or what’s on TV today.
Introverts value deep communication more than anything else (it is probably the only type of communication that doesn’t drain us). For this reason, we find having pointless conversations immensely exhausting.
8. You hate to be in the spotlight
Most people enjoy the attention, many even crave it, but the quiet ones don’t. A sure sign of being an introvert is that you don’t like to be praised or criticized in front of others or have everyone’s attention in any other way. Activities like public speaking or giving a performance challenge your self-esteem and fuel your inner critic and self-doubt.
Why don’t introverts like praise and attention? The reason is that internal rewards are much more important for us than external ones. So if you did your job well, you want to feel that your work has made a difference and you are satisfied with the result in the first place. Gaining approval and praise of others is secondary.
9. You need to spend some time on your own every day to feel strong and energized
If you are wondering, ‘Am I an introvert?’ this is one of the most telltale signs that you are one. When you have to do without alone time for a few days, you begin to feel irritated and tired for no reason. Solitude is among the most basic emotional needs of an introvert personality. This is how we recharge and put our thoughts in order. Leave an introvert without alone time, and their mental health will suffer.
10. Before making a decision or having a difficult conversation, you need some time to think it over
More often than not, introverts are no quick thinkers. Our brains require plenty of time and thinking before we can make any decision (sometimes, even the most trivial one). We don’t like spontaneity and prefer to be prepared for anything that comes our way. This is another unmistakable sign of being an introvert. For example, if you are going to have an uncomfortable conversation with someone, you need to think in advance how you are going to approach it and what exactly you are going to say.
11. You analyze a lot
Introverts feel the need to analyze everything and everyone they come in contact with. We need time to process things that happen in our lives, and staying alone and doing some in-depth analysis is the only way we can make sense of them. As an introvert, you often analyze your past too. Oftentimes, you think up a great comeback or argument long after the conversation is over… There is even a term for it – it’s called “l’esprit de l’escalier”.
In general, you are very self-aware and often self-critical. You tend to overanalyze your behaviors, words, and actions. Sometimes you can be harsh on yourself if you believe you did something wrong.
12. You have a rich inner life
Even when an introvert is not engaged in any particular activity, be sure that he or she is busy living in their head. As an introvert, you can spend hours thinking about things that happened long ago (or could have happened) or imagining the fantasy world you read about in a book. This is one of the reasons why you are unlikely to find yourself bored while being alone.
13. Your inner monologue is big-mouthed and confident, but when you try to communicate your ideas to other people, they sound far less powerful than in your head
Just like an introvert’s inner life is rich, so is their inner monologue. The flow of your thoughts rarely stops. Sometimes you lie in your bed at night and have whole debates in your head, full of sophisticated words and indisputable arguments. But then the day comes and you try to share your ideas with the world and put your night’s thoughts into words. Guess what? The result is never as powerful and exciting as that dialogue in your head.
14. You feel much more confident in written communication
Introverts are far more skillful in writing than they are in speaking. It’s no coincidence that most writers and poets have an introvert personality. Your rich inner world and ability to work consistently and patiently makes you good at expressing yourself in written communication. As you need to carefully think over everything you have to say, writing, unlike speaking, gives you this privilege.
15. You don’t talk for the sake of talking but only express your opinion when you have something meaningful to say
The quiet ones don’t talk much, but when they do, be sure that they have something meaningful to say. An introvert will not talk nonsense or say obvious things just to fill the silence with pointless words. A sure sign that you are an introvert is that you weigh every word that comes out of your mouth. You prefer to stay quiet when you have doubts or lack knowledge about a topic.
16. You can’t stand forced communication
Forced communication is an even tougher challenge for an introvert than small talk. And to be honest, the two often equal each other. Family reunions with nosy relatives asking embarrassing personal questions or an awkward conversation with a neighbor in the elevator are the definition of an introvert’s nightmare.
A telltale sign that you are an introvert is that you are quite good at understanding who you vibe with. So forcing yourself to interact with people you don’t like or have nothing in common with is incredibly draining. For this reason, you will avoid such situations at any cost.
17. You work more efficiently alone than in a team
Teamwork is not among introverts’ strongest assets. You are much more efficient when you work alone and are given a certain degree of independence. Constant supervision or interaction with others distracts and irritates you, significantly damaging your productivity. Leave an introvert alone and you will see the results of their mind working in all its glory.
18. You are not a fan of talking on the phone
Every introvert on the planet is endlessly grateful for modern inventions like social media platforms and texting. This is because we don’t like talking on the phone, especially when we need to call strangers.
As we have already said above, introverts are much more efficient in written communication. We also tend to rely on non-verbal communication and seeing another person’s body language and facial expressions is important for us.
19. You are more likely to feel lonely at a party than at home
This will sound weird to most people, but an introvert is more likely to feel lonely when being surrounded by others than when being alone. A genuine and deep connection is the only way an introvert can feel like home with other people. When you feel disconnected to those around you or find yourself attending a big social event full of strangers, you inevitably feel lonely and regret not staying at home.
20. Personal space means a lot to you
An unmistakable sign of an introvert personality is that you are quite a private person. You have a strong personal space and don’t appreciate when others pry into your life and disturb your privacy. Intrusive and overly curious people make you feel painfully awkward.
The same is true about your approach to other people’s personal space as well. You respect it and never become nosy, saying uncomfortable things or asking too personal questions. The last thing an introvert wants is to disturb someone’s peace.
21. You struggle with facing conflict
Most introverts tend to avoid conflict. This is not because we are afraid to be confronted or seek to avoid responsibility. We find any type of intensity extremely draining and are not good at handling confrontation.
So if you are an introvert, you can’t stand yelling and intense, difficult conversations of any kind. In case of open conflict, you are more likely to withdraw and take your time to think it over before you can deal with it.
22. Your home is your sacred space of safety and comfort
There is nothing more important for an introvert than their home. It’s your sacred place of power where you feel the safest and the most comfortable. This is your quiet little kingdom where we can be yourself, relax, and recharge. You don’t want anyone to disturb this peace and for this reason, you are not a fan of holding dinners or parties in your house.
23. If you don’t like someone, you can’t fake it
If you know that someone is inauthentic, conceited, or shady, you can’t pretend to like them. You can’t just fake a smile and say a shallow pleasantry. You wonder how some people can be so hypocrite and say things they don’t mean for the sake of being polite or taking advantage of someone. It’s funny that you may struggle to show people that you like them even when you do, so how could you possibly fake it?
24. You need some time to get used to new environments and people
Introverts prefer familiar environments and find any major changes stressful. Thus, if you just got a new job, moved to a new house, or started a new relationship, you will need some time to get used to it. While this is true for everyone to some extent, introverts may need a little more time than other personality types.
25. You are a good listener
We have discussed that introverts can’t stand small talk. But at the same time, we are great listeners when you want to have a deeper conversation or share your personal experiences and problems with us. We are interested in other people and want to know everything about your personality, dreams, and aspirations.
26. You are good at reading people
Even though introverts are more focused on their thoughts than on the surrounding environment, we tend to be very intuitive and notice tiny nuances of people’s behaviors. People-watching is among introverts’ hobbies. We intuitively read body language cues in those around us and can understand when someone is being inauthentic.
27. You struggle to talk about your needs and feelings
Yes, introverts never fake their feelings, but at the same time, we struggle to open our hearts to other people. And it goes further than difficulties with love confessions.
An unmistakable sign that you are an introvert is that you find it difficult to express your discontent as well. Conversations that require you to call out another person for something that bothers you are incredibly difficult and draining. As a result, you will probably just stay quiet and just withdraw.
28. You feel the most tired around nosy, talkative, or too intense personalities
There are certain types of people that drain an introvert faster than anyone else. First of all, these are intrusive people who have no idea about your personal boundaries and snoop into your life.
Then, there are those who just can’t stop talking – spend 20 minutes with such a person and you will feel dead tired. Finally, anyone who is too intense (such as people who laugh loudly all the time or high conflict personalities) can be overly exhausting for an introvert too.
29. You prefer planning over spontaneity
A sure sign of having an introvert personality is that you don’t like spontaneous situations like surprise parties or uninvited guests. You want to be prepared for any kind of social interaction in advance. This gives you a sense of control and security.
You want to have the upper hand and know what to expect. When your friend just shows up at your door unannounced or, even worse, brings extra guests with them, you feel like your quiet little world is threatened.
30. You are more likely to get excited with canceled plans than with a social event itself
This is another one of the introvert behaviors that seem utterly weird to other people. When you accept someone’s invitation to a social gathering, you regret it way too quickly. After half an hour or so, you start to think that it was a mistake and you should have stayed at home.
On the contrary, when your social plans get canceled, you feel incredible relief. You know that you won’t have to force yourself into social interaction and can just have a nice quiet evening at home.
I Am an Introvert and There’s Nothing Wrong with It. Are You One Too?
Am I an introvert? Yes, I am. Is there anything wrong with me? No, there isn’t. And if you identify with the above, the same is true about you.
Introverts’ traits and behaviors may sometimes look weird and can be easily misunderstood by other people, but this is not to say that this type of personality is flawed. It’s just different. In fact, there are neurological differences in extroverts and introverts. You can read about it in this article to better understand how the introverted brain works.
If you relate to the above signs, you are certainly an introvert. No matter how you feel about it, be sure that your personality has many positive qualities and hidden powers. All it takes is to embrace your introverted nature and stop forcing yourself to become an extrovert – which is someone you are not and will never be.
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