Communication is important, this is true. However, annoying conversational habits can be worse than no communication at all. Don’t irritate people.
While we’re out here preaching about the importance of communication with each other, we should take the time to teach about annoying conversational habits as well. Sometimes saying nothing is better than spewing lies or making the whole conversation about yourself, right?
Unlike communication itself, conversational habits are how we try to communicate. While some of these habits are healthy, other ones are not so much. Toxic habits used in conversation can drive people away from you. Let’s learn about those insidious habits.
Annoying conversational habits to avoid
There are several annoying things you can do during a conversation. That’s because many of us have so much to talk about, which means we don’t always truly listen to the other person – actually, we rarely do this.
So, instead of pointing fingers at other annoying conversationalists, let’s look at what we do during communication. Here are a few habits to break.
1. Looking at your phone
Have you noticed how normal it is for everyone to be on their smartphones no matter what they’re doing? They scroll and eat, scroll, and walk, and unfortunately, they scroll and drive too. So, it’s no surprise that they are always doing something, even while having a conversation with someone face to face.
This has become an extremely annoying conversational habit, and it’s killing our personal connection with each other. Put your phone down for a while and just listen.
2. Talking over each other
Interrupting someone when they’re talking is bad, but constantly cutting them off every time they try to speak is just disgusting, people. But it’s okay, I’m not beating you over the head without hitting myself a few times too. We all do this. Why?
Because the world has become so full of information and void of respect that we tend to think what we know is most important. Instead of truly paying attention to what someone else has to say, we’re already putting our next sentences together and taking over. Stop!
3. Trying to ‘one-up’
What this means is when you talk to someone, you’re constantly trying to say something more interesting than what they said before. For instance, if your friend says they received a promotion, and then you say,
“Oh really, I started my own business and even created a website, so I’m right there with you!”
But you don’t really think you’re “right there with them”, you’re trying to better them, or say something that will steal the conversation and give you the spotlight. This is so annoying, and it’s just embarrassing to others watching you do this.
4. Dropping those names
So, you know someone famous, do you? Well, that’s nice. But honestly, dropping names about celebrities in your life during a conversation is one of the most annoying and cringeworthy things you can do. I know a few celebrities myself, and truth be told, most people do!
So, this rare thing you think you got going on is not that rare at all and bragging about it makes you look bad. Step back, and then keep your name dropping to yourself. Being humble would be a much nicer thing to practice.
5. Using words to impress
If you know big words, then that’s good. It means you either read quite a bit, have a high-level intelligence, or you simply train yourself to learn big words for conversations. Hmm, could it be the last one that drove a friend away?
If you’re using big or fancy words to make yourself look good, then you’re going to make yourself look ridiculous instead.
This is especially true if you’re talking to a friend who really knows you well. They know the real you, and when you start talking down to them, it will become more than annoying, and they will probably find someone else to talk to.
6. Too much or too fast
If you’re talking more than listening, or you’re talking too fast, what do you think the other person is doing? Do you really think they’re listening to all the stuff you’re rambling on about?
Maybe they’re being a good friend and trying to hear you. I have a friend who tolerates me like that, so sometimes they do. But honestly, if you’re doing all the talking, even the best of friends will start to avoid you.
Yes, even my best friend did that to me once or twice. She might not admit it, but it helped me to practice calming myself down. You see, that’s just it.
We don’t always hog conversations because we’re bad people. Sometimes we just get overly excited and have so much going on in our brains. But to keep from being so annoying, we must constantly practice self-control when communicating.
Here’s the point of the issue
What it all boils down to is listening. If we did as much listening as we talk, we would learn how to properly conversate. Over time, due to all the changes in who we are and our technology, we’ve forgotten the basic unspoken rules of communication.
But if we try, and I mean really try, we can learn how to talk to each other in the right way once more. As I’ve mentioned many times throughout this post, listening is at the root of learning this task.
So, with all this being said, talk less, and listen more. This is the key to destroying annoying conversational habits and keeping friends close.
I think it’s interesting that it looks like the things you’ve listed here are characteristic of people who
some would considered “aggressive”, “confident”, or “alpha”. In our society, these traits may be desirable to employers, or mates, especially when men act in this fashion. Unfortunately, our society loves assholes.
Ahhh, so you see something my brother tried to warn me about in my early thirties. Let me tell you what he said. “If people would stop dating cruel people, arrogant people, and liars, then maybe they would change. Because when they realized no one wants to be around that type of behavior, they would become lonely and possibly realize that good people aren’t attracted to that anymore. Maybe the ‘bad boy’ image would go out of style.”
Yes, our world promotes alphas and then we keep paying the price for pain. We’re doubly punished – terrible relationships and then scars. If we tried hard enough, we could turn the tables, possibly genuinely make the world a better place, and learn that being humble isn’t a bad thing.
A major bad habit, I myself picked up is to look away or step off during a conversation. There might be MANY reasons for this. It could be that you don’t like the subject or the person or bored with both. It all depends on if you are dealing with a psycho or just disturbed or needy person! The bottom line is that “self defense” has a part in this subject as well! As always you never want to degrade yourself to their level!
Yes, there are many factors here, as Dr. Mabeuse brought to light for me. You could be dealing with someone who needs help and has resorted to desperation. If you’re getting up and walking away or zoning out of the conversation, this could be an issue with yourself. It could be many things: boredom, distraction, aggravation from listening to the same story, selfishness, distaste in someone else’s toxic conversation, and many other reasons.
Only you know what this reason is, and you must examine this. It could be that there is something in the conversation that just triggers you to take your mind to another place. As for learning the psychological state of another, this takes time, as those with psychotic behavior can hide this behavior for a long time.
They can switch back and forth from kind to cruel quickly. And yes, sometimes they can be convincing in their sob stories. But then again, you could be dealing with a genuine person who’s hurting terribly and needs your help. This is why we learn, and why we need to keep learning how to differentiate between who has a healthy personality and an unhealthy personality. We write about this over and over because, there’s knowledge that can help others save themselves.
Be aware of what your partner is trying to achieve by conversing with you. If they’re trying to impress, dominate, or belittle you, that’s one thing. If they’re earnestly trying to communicate, that’s another thing entirely, and requires you to participate as a good listener. Engage you empathy and desire to understand, and remember that a conversation is about feelings as well as information.
Yes, and there is a way to tell the difference. It may take a few conversations, and I do say listen carefully the first time, but if it gets redundant, or red flags go up, you will know. Not every one who talks a lot is toxic, and If it came across that way, my apologies. However, taking over the conversation every time isn’t healthy. If you do need to really communicate your feelings and feel the need to say things over and over, you could possibly need a new listener as well. Empathy is important, grant you, but you do have to learn which angle they’re coming from to understand how to listen, when to listen and how long to endure. You’ll start divide true emotions from dramatics over time as well.
I apologize for the grammatical errors.