Every introvert gets anxious before they go to a social event. Often they will be anxious for hours afterwards, too. Here are a few of the most common anxious thoughts introverts have about socialising.
Every introvert has anxious thoughts when they are preparing for a social event.
They also know that they will have plenty of these afterwards, too. Even if we bail on the event, there will still be things to worry about. It’s a wonder we ever manage to go out at all. But at least we are not alone. These worries occur to most introverts and that’s up to half the population!
1. You are worried people will think you are standoffish
Because you are often quiet, you have sometimes been called stuck up or snobby. This is so far from who you are, but you worry that people will think this again.
This makes you anxious about going to a social event, especially if you are not in a very outgoing mood. Even if you do go and make an effort to be talkative, you still worry afterwards that people may have perceived you as awkward and rude.
2. You wonder if you can possibly get out of the event
Sometimes, a friend or friends invite you to an event, but then, when the time comes, you are just too drained to go. But you worry what other people will think if you make an excuse and stay home. You get anxious that your friends’ feelings will be hurt and you also worry that you will be labelled as flaky and unreliable.
If you go, you will probably end up worrying that you weren’t sociable or were terrible company. If you don’t go, you will stay home feeling relieved but guilty. You’ll spend the rest of the evening having anxious thoughts, worrying that your friends will be offended and that no one will ever invite you to anything again.
3. You worry that you will come across as weird
Sometimes it can be hard to get across your ideas and feelings. Everything makes sense in your head, but when you try to explain yourself, it just comes out sounding well… weird.
When you finally get to go home, all you can think about is how odd you must have sounded and how everyone will be wondering why you are so strange.
4. You are anxious that you will make a terrible faux pas
Before you even arrive at an event, you are worrying that you will do something embarrassing. Knowing you, you will say precisely the wrong thing or do something clumsy like knocking a whole glass of red wine over a stranger’s dress.
On the journey home and long into the night, you will go over every little thing you said and did wondering if it was the right thing to say or do and whether everyone else likes you.
5. You worry that no one will talk to you
If you are going to a social event where you don’t know many people, your anxiety reaches fever pitch. What if no one wants to talk to you and you end up standing awkwardly all alone? Or what if you spend the whole evening with the one person you do know and annoy the hell out of them?
6. You are anxious that people will ask you questions about your life
You are really not that comfortable talking about yourself, so you worry that someone will ask you a question and you will just freeze. Every introvert has their own different fears on this front. Some are fine talking about work but hate talking about their personal lives. For others, it’s just the reverse.
Most introverts hate to be put on the spot, so unexpected questions are the worst. You will probably just mumble something and try to turn the conversation back to the other person. Then you will worry that people will think you are cold and uncommunicative.
7. You fear someone will ask you something when you have been daydreaming
Sometimes, you get a little bored by the social chit chat and go off into a world of your own. Unfortunately, that is often just the moment someone asks you what your thoughts on the subject are. Now you have been put on the spot and on top of that you have no idea what the subject is. You mumble something vague and everyone gives you that look again.
You spend the rest of the evening wondering what the conversation was all about and just how odd your mumbled reply seemed – and trying to keep yourself from daydreaming again.
8. You worry that you will ask something too personal
Because you are an introvert, you don’t much like small talk. So, if you find you are connecting with someone, you want to get to know them on a deeper level.
Unfortunately, this can sometimes mean you ask a question that is just a little too personal or just too deep and everyone look at you like you’re an alien being.
If you have ever had these anxious thoughts, know that you are not alone. Its just part of being an introvert in a world geared up for extroverts. Just make sure you get time to do some more introverted activities in your life. Practicing meditation or relaxation can also calm your anxious thoughts.
Copyright © 2012-2020 Learning Mind. All rights reserved. For permission to reprint, contact us.