Being a master of assertive communication means making sure that your opinion is heard and valued. How to achieve that?
There are a lot of people who are not sure what to say during a conversation. Many people will walk away wondering whether or not they have said the right thing. Don’t you wish you could avoid such situations and master the art of assertive communication?
Wouldn’t it be nice to know that you’re respected and that people actually care about your opinion? Mastering assertive communication can make a big difference. Within this guide, you will find tips for making yourself more assertive when communicating with others.
1. Don’t Influence
First and foremost, you should understand that there is a fine line between expressing your opinion and attempting to influence someone. If you are attempting to change someone’s opinion, you’re really pushing things too far.
Don’t try to alter the listener’s opinion. Instead, you should be focused on stating your own opinion. If you are able to be expressive, you’ll make a bigger impact and others are going to care about what you are saying.
2. Learn to Say No
Nonassertive speakers often have a tough time saying no. This is going to cause them to get into all types of trouble. For instance, they may wind up agreeing to do things that they shouldn’t.
With this in mind, you need to learn how to say no. This is one of the biggest steps in mastering assertive communication. Make sure that you are able to tell others no. Do not always be agreeable.
3. Using ‘I’ More Often
While you want to be assertive, you do not want to become aggressive. This is something that you need to avoid. Otherwise, there is a good chance that you are going to get yourself into a lot of arguments.
This is why you need to use ‘I’ more often. Avoid saying “You”, as this can seem aggressive. When you are using ‘I’, you will be able to take charge of the conversation and turn things to your favor.
4. Don’t Feel Guilty
It is also vital to make sure that you remove guilt from the equation. A lot of people feel guilty because they are not pleasing others. In return, this is going to cause them to feel obligated to make others feel great. This is a big no-no.
To ensure that you are being assertive, you need to remove guilt the from the picture. Make sure that you don’t let people walk all over you. Be willing to speak up for yourself and tell others how you really feel.
5. Don’t Focus on the Past
A lot of people focus too much on the past. This is going to be a major problem. After all, focusing on the past is going to get you worked up. Remember that you need to put the past behind you.
To be assertive, you need to remain focused on the future. Do not let the past control your emotions. Put the past out of your mind and focus intently on the future. This is the best way to remain sure of yourself in any conversation.
6. Don’t Let Others Speak for You
If you are interested in mastering assertive communication, you need to make sure that you are speaking for yourself. Think about it for a minute. It is pertinent to make sure that you are speaking for yourself. Don’t let others stand up in your place. Be willing to stand up and speak up for yourself. Otherwise, nobody is going to take you seriously.
7. Accept Losing Battles
When it comes down to it, you are not perfect. Nobody is. Therefore, you need to realize that you are going to lose spoken battles from time to time.
This is something that you cannot be afraid of. You have to accept the fact that you’re going to lose a few battles from time to time. Don’t worry about it. Remember that the war is far more important. Don’t be afraid to lose battles if it means that you are going to win wars in the long run.
8. State Your Needs or Expectations Clearly
As an assertive speaker, you need to make sure that you are telling others what you expect upfront. You might be buying a product or service. If that is the case, you need to clearly express your needs and expectations.
Let the other individual know what you want and be sure to tell them what you expect. If your expectations are not met, you should not hesitate to express your disappointment. This will force the other individual to take you more seriously and they will be more inclined to do the right thing for you.
9. Learn to Speak Professionally
Finally, you need to make sure that you are speaking in a professional manner. If you speak casually, you might not be taken seriously. By speaking professionally, you will be! That is going to make a big difference in the long run.
If you keep in mind the above recommendations when talking to people, you will soon master the art of assertive communication.
Copyright © 2012-2019 Learning Mind. All rights reserved. For permission to reprint, contact us.