We may have read many articles about why people are attracted to those with low self-esteem. But what about the reasons why people with low self-esteem are attracted to us?
It’s a question we may not think about quite as much: “Why do I attract people with low self-esteem?” But it’s a good question.
You see, people with low self-worth are often hiding behind a vaulted sense of self, and you might not know how mentally broken they are. It’s true. And so, we spend little time in internal evaluation to see if we’re attracting this sort of person.
Reasons we may attract those with low self-esteem
It may take a while, and you might not like what you find, but it’s important to discover why you keep attracting people without a healthy image of themselves.
You see, we should all have a balanced view of our character and integrity. We should appreciate who we are. Some people live in a low place, and they’re attracted to certain aspects of others. Let’s examine these things.
1. Low self-esteem
One of the most prevalent reasons why someone with low self-esteem may be attracted to you is that you have low self-esteem too. Sometimes, like attracts like, and those with similar personalities and weaknesses area are drawn to one another.
So, it could be that you have a bit of work to do on the way you feel about yourself as well. Could it be that you’re hiding behind a fake smile, and you just don’t like yourself very much?
2. Cold and detached
If you’re attracting people with low self-esteem, could it be that you’re hard to talk to? Many people who seem cold and unreachable will draw others who lack healthy self-worth.
You see, some are still attracted to this sense of playing hard to get, and to a point where it’s kind of abusive. Maybe you don’t see yourself this way, but you may be extremely aloof, and this is a big turn-on for those who struggle with loving themselves.
This could even stem from something in their childhood.
3. You’ve endured trauma
People with low self-esteem can sometimes sense when others have been through traumatic times. And if they ever see someone posting on social media about abuse or anything similar, they will be drawn to the broken aspects of that person.
They are attracted because they see someone who might give them a chance, this person is imperfect, and they are probably less materialistic as well. This means so much to someone who struggles with their self-worth.
They see an opportunity to be with someone who may make them feel better about themselves. It’s similar to being attracted to others with low self-esteem, except trauma survivors have often reconciled negative feelings about themselves and grown through self-healing.
And if you have low self-esteem, a partner who has learned to love themselves can pull them up too. If you’re a trauma survivor, don’t be surprised if you start attracting people who have problems loving themselves.
4. You’re strong and independent
People with low self-esteem may be attracted to others who send out vibes of incredible strength. You see, if you’re an independent person, you’re probably financially stable, mentally stable, and even emotionally stable.
Those who cannot see their worth will want to latch onto yours. They see your powerful growth as something they will never achieve, and the next best thing for them to do is be close to it. You’re light a bright light that draws lost things from the darkness.
5. You’re lonely
It’s always best to keep your loneliness out of the public eye. Why? Because people with low self-esteem are attracted to lonely people. When they realize that you’re lonely, they see an opportunity to be loved by your desperation.
Now, I’m not saying that being alone is bad, oh no. Sometimes being alone is the best thing for a person.
Loneliness and being alone are two distinctly different things. Loneliness is an energy that goes out into the world, and other people will notice. That’s why it’s good to keep these feelings to yourself or in your small circle of platonic friends.
6. You know exactly who you are
If you’ve gone on a vision quest or spent some time living alone, then you’ve probably gotten to know yourself. This is a wonderful experience. When this happens, you realize a great deal about your purpose in life.
People with low self-esteem notice this, and if they don’t attack you with accusations that you’re too “self-absorbed”, they will be attracted to you.
Your healthy knowledge of self is magnetic, and it’s something that everyone wants, but they’re not always aware of. It’s true.
We go through most of our lives stumbling in the dark until we’ve had this encounter with our own souls. People who haven’t had this encounter will be drawn to those who have, thus the people who can’t love themselves will love those who can.
7. Narcissism
This may be one of the hardest things to admit to yourself. But if you’re a bit toxic, or someone has told you that you are, then you will attract people who do not love themselves.
Narcissistic behavior is sometimes difficult to recognize, especially in yourself. But here’s a secret: we all have a bit of narcissism within us.
So, if you’re wondering why you’re always attracting people with low self-esteem, maybe you should do some serious introspection with the help of your family and friends. Hey, be honest with yourself.
What can you do about this?
If you realize that someone with low self-esteem is attracted to you, go through this list and see if any of these things resonate.
Are you cold and unapproachable? Have you learned to love yourself? Well, whatever the reason, there will be different ways to look at the situation.
If you’re cold and unapproachable, then you may need to come out of your shell a bit to stop attracting negativity. If you know exactly who you are, then you probably won’t get caught up in a toxic relationship in the first place. You may even be able to keep it on a friendship level and help that person with low self-esteem.
The solution, you see, depends on the reason. So, think carefully, analyze your character, and choose wisely.
Most of all, be blessed and stay safe.
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Anyone “attracts” all kinds of people. It’s whether or not you keep them in your orbit once you find out what they’re about that determines if you get dragged down by things they do or not.
Kelly,
There are traits about a person that do attract certain types of people. If you look at your past experiences, you will notice patterns. When you can see these patterns, you will start your journey toward adjusting little things about yourself. It’s like that old television antenna, if you move them around a bit, you will pick up better signals…better results by adjusting behaviors.
And for those rare times, when you attract bad vibes that are not related to the signals you’re putting out, yes! You can turn them away. At that point, you’ll be strong enough.