Have you ever heard the saying, boys don’t cry? Well, it’s just another one of society’s standards that don’t mean squat.
I remember my father reprimanding my big brother after he got hurt. My father gave him a scolding and when tears came to his eyes, my father said, boys don’t cry.” Yes, he was a pretty big guy, much older than me, but apparently, something needed a release, either he was in a lot of physical or emotional pain, maybe even both.
And so I grew up with the idea that boys were supposed to be tough, resilient, and covered in callouses. If I saw a boy crying at school, he was usually hiding so no one else would see him. It was looked down upon, for a boy to shed tears. It became a normal thing for me, and when I became an adult, I saw crying as weakness. When one of my boyfriends started to cry, I thought about what Father said, boys don’t cry, and I wasn’t considerate of his feelings. I was cold.
Society has lied to us. They have taught us the silliest rules. What’s worse – we believe them.
Boys don’t cry is only one of the many lies told by society. The standards of today’s world are skewed, molded by the opinions of a small group of old-fashioned people. I am sure if you thought about your own childhood, you could recall a few ridiculous sayings that your family forced upon your beliefs, can’t you? For now, here are 10 more ridiculous lies that society preaches.
A woman’s place is in the home
I’m not sure if this is a universal lie or just something we’ve concocted in certain cultures. I have heard versions of this lie in quite a few places, however. Basically, women are seen as homemakers, with their primary responsibilities being cooking, cleaning and taking care of additional needs of the husband, head of household – in other words, catering to the man of the house.
The truth is women are equal to men, able to do most of the same things within reason. They have an equal voice and now, equal rights in the western world. Although many cultures still see women as the old version, it’s still a lie. We are all human beings, despite sex, color or creed, and we should have the same rights… we should create our own statements.
True love conquers all
I’m sorry, but true love, the idea of having a soulmate rather, is not the answer to all our problems. Some people actually think that if they find their perfect mate, everything else will fall into place.
I hate to tell you this, but no single person can change your life for the better. Even when you’ve met the love of your life, you will still have problems, and guess what, another person in the household means another angle to these problems. Don’t be ridiculous.
Blood is thicker than water
This is an old saying, something that I heard my grandmother say when I was little. It simply means blood relatives are more trustworthy and loyal than friends. Unfortunately, this is not always the case. I have witnessed situations where the family has betrayed each other and the friends have come to the rescue. Now, I’m not trying to insult the family structure, just trying to lay down a few truths about the dark side of the biological family. Sometimes, despite the physical connections of the family, the friends are the most reliable choice.
Love doesn’t last
Lately, this statement seems to ring true. There is hope, however, and some love does last, especially if you take the time to cultivate your relationship instead of giving up when things don’t go your way. Love is not just a giddy feeling that fades over time, real love is devotion, commitment and going to war. If you can handle all this, then love most certainly DOES last.
Skinny is healthy
Society has created the perfect man and woman, and they are photoshopped, cosmetic surgery advocates – they are as plastic as they come. Our world has taught us that being skinny is healthy and this look is desired by the masses. Want to know how I know there’s pressure to be skinny? Every time I wear shorts or show the tops of my arms, I am nervous. That’s how bad society has become.
The truth is, and I heard it again last night on social media, you don’t have to be skinny to be healthy. I am finding more and more doctor’s reports that say being large, curvy or simply not anorexic is fine, as long as your body is healthy inside. I am sure there is more to this, and you can’t just let yourself go if you want to be healthy, but people, being skinny, Nah, that’s not the answer to being healthy.
Religion means morality
This is a rather sensitive topic as well. I grew up in the church, changed beliefs many times and then returned to the church then out once more, so I got the scoop from inside and outside. Organized religion teaches us that being moral is living according to the rules of deities. There are God and Jesus, then there are the rules of Allah and Mohammad, so take your pick, right? Wrong.
I love many atheists, adore them from the bottom of my heart, and you know what, they are just as kind and moral of human beings as anyone who darkens the church pews and lies face down on the floor. I believe that morality is a condition of the heart, not a condition of religious doctrine.
Money equals happiness
Making money is important. It’s necessary in order to pay bills, purchase food and enjoy some avenues of entertainment. On the other hand, money is not necessary to enjoy life. I recently read an article about a man who lived most of his life without the major intervention of money. Although he used a small amount for his basic amenities, he did not depend on money as his source of happiness.
There are times, after all, when money can cause more problems than solutions. Greed and selfishness can grow much stronger according to the increase in riches, so you must be careful when dealing with this addictive reward.
A degree equals success
It’s great to attain a degree in the field of your expertise, but using this degree as the only way to success is delusional. For instance, my brother has a journalism degree and he rarely uses it. I have no degree in writing whatsoever, and I write every day, even on some weekends. I have a degree in Fashion Marketing Technology but hardly ever utilize that certificate. Do you see what I mean?
Success does not rely on a degree of completion, although it does help in certain areas. I guess many of you strongly disagree with me, but that’s okay. Opinions are like hats, there are many kinds. Do you have a degree?
Looks don’t matter
I would love to believe that this is true, but it’s not. The first thing you notice when you see someone is not their wonderful personality and dark humor. More than likely, you notice their hair, eyes or the shape of their body, right?
Looks matter in today’s society, and yet we keep trying to pretend that they don’t. There is so much emphasis put on the way we look that it is transforming the way we see ourselves. And yes, it is unhealthy.
Stop being such a girl!
This is a degrading statement given to mostly men when they are acting “weak”. Examples include crying, being depressed, in pain etc. Men have been conditioned to believe that they are beyond the realm of emotional pain.
Just like the statement, big boys don’t cry, other words are also stereotypical of how the human male should be. If a man should stop being such a girl, then this also means that women are weak and prone to emotional failure. This makes the statement even more degrading.
Let’s destroy society’s standards and live how we want to live!
The standards of society have become ludicrous. There is no way that these old fashioned statements should remain in action in today’s world. Even though some cultures still live the same as they did decades ago, doesn’t mean that we should accept these lies within our hearts. Every chance we get to make a change in how society views a human being is a chance to change ourselves as well. It’s just the smart thing to do.
Let’s create a new standard, a standard of love, happiness, and equality for all! Now that’s something I can live by!
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This Post Has 4 Comments
I disagree about men and women being equals as that is the greatest myth in every way just as the argument of one being a male or a female as its a non physical truth in where the answer is in how they are the complete opposite forces which must be united into one and neither is above or below the other but of equal value in their inequality of virtues.. The man is the force or power or the physical world who can use the brute muscles but the female is the pure love and compassion of healing water that uses the softness to rule with love not force and is more powerful than brute force as it just like water in its life giving and formless but can wear away the hardest rocks. So to unite them into and as one which makes them into a union of indomitable will and perfection. We must stop competing or trying to make defining roles or values as the old and see how it’s always been and will be like night and day going to exist but that to unite them as the same value in knowing that each side is needed for different reasons or times and that together they are or become equal in understanding the values of each other not trying to be equal or the same as the other as then what would be the point of life or creation if we were all equal and the same??? The true beauty is seeing the value in the opposition and then loving how the truth is complimentary mirrors and is for us to master uniting and understanding not comparing or judging or measuring.. life is a journey and. Is up and down as now I see I am my only adversary as I continue to grow one day at a time and I am no different or better than any other because I know and have and still have many flaws but in time I will overcome all of them as we are to grow one another and especially those who are our most challenging or irritating to us or in those challenging times we are tested. I was the evil judger or blamed others and was just as we all are but now I see the one is inside me to be that change I wish to have or see in giving it away not for any return or value or importance and that is where it begins to grow. So we are all growing when we see the mirror is us not the other who reflects our self to us..
I understand your view on this, and in some ways, I agree. I guess what I was saying is that how society perceives us is incorrect. For instance, men who cry are not weak at all. In fact, they are in touch with areas of themselves that some others may not be aware of. Women who perform household duties are not bad for doing these things, they just have so much more to offer in other areas as well. We are equal, and yes, we are different. This should always be celebrated and not categorized by man.
A womans’ place is in the home. Al ways has and always will. Regardless of where we are technologically, politically what-have-you. The feminist movement was a strategic social engineering campaign. Acadamia promoting the lie that men are your competion and to not trust men.
Pitting men and his beloved woman against each other, to compete within the home and workplace alike . Now we have disfuction, higher divorce rates and occupationally orphaned children being raised by the state. Because women fell for scheme.
Respectfully, I disagree. We, as women, tried this “placement in the home” ideal for centuries, and it just didn’t work for us. I spent almost 20 years of my life doing this as well, under the direction of the church. Now, I can speak personally from my own experience to say that I garnered little respect from acting in this manner. I then grew bitter toward my situation. As I grew older, I healed from the bitterness and grew strong. I am imperfect, but I can see clearly why so many women are fighting for their rights. It’s because we really don’t have the rights that we should. We are groped, cat-called, molested, harassed and put down on a daily basis. Now, I’m not saying that all men do this to us, but way too many do. There are some spectacular men who know how to show respect to their women. Unfortunately, there are still that many that do not.
I think women should be able to aspire to whatever they want to do, and not be shackled to the stove to cook meals. I don’t think that bearing children should confine them to the home either. We have hearts, souls, and minds as do men, and we are more intelligent in many things. Just ask those good men who respect us. I am sorry if I seem to harbor a bit of animosity in my words, but I have grown tired of my “fathers” mentality. He told me this: “No man will have you unless you know how to cook and clean and be a good wife”.
That statement wounds me deeply because even my own father could not see my potential…not as a woman…but as a human being.
As I respect your comment, I do not agree.