Top 10 Ways to Build Your Self-Confidence

Published by
Valerie Soleil, B.A., LL.B.

We have all been in uncomfortable situations that challenged our self-confidence at one point or another.

We’ve had difficulties expressing our opinions or speak in front of a great audience, and most of us vividly remember the first experience of such kind. However, a serious lack of self-confidence is much more than stage fright and nervousness that occur on rare occasions. It is a persistent state of being that determines one’s character and behavior.

When you don’t have enough self-confidence, you are constantly afraid of being humiliated, disliked, or condemned by others.

Self-confidence is a talent that not all of us have. It takes a huge deal of practice and commitment if you want to develop this skill, but the good news is that you can do it! You have all the time in the world, so you should start using it wisely.

1. Learn

When you know enough facts to support your opinions, you won’t feel worthless when you enter a discussion. Learn everything you can about the topics you’re interested in. Follow the news and form your own opinions based on the facts you discover. Then, it will be easier for you to get more comfortable when talking to people.

2. Speak more

You are a person with unique interests, knowledge, and character. Don’t be afraid to show your personality and talk to other people. This doesn’t mean that you need to turn into one of those people who talk beyond the limits of decency. It just means that when you have something on your mind and you know those ideas are suitable for the conversation, you should simply share them.

3. Don’t think about the way other people perceive you

Are you afraid to make a mistake in front of the class or your colleagues, so you decide to stay silent? You’ve lost faith in yourself because you take their opinions as a measure of your value. Individuals with healthy self-confidence are aware of their own worth.

It really doesn’t matter what other people think of them as long as they feel comfortable in their own skin. This is a skill that’s not easy to build, but you can work on it as soon as you become aware of your tendency to care about the opinion of others.

4. Introspection

The problem with lack of self-confidence is in the deep layers of our subconscious – we don’t think we are good enough for the goals we would like to achieve. That’s the aspect you should start working on.

Start meditating and examine the deepest thoughts you have. When you convince yourself that you deserve something better and you can achieve those aims, your self-confidence levels will grow.

5. Do something you’ve never done before

This is the best way to improve your self-confidence: have fun and indulge in new experiences. You’ve always been fascinated by paragliding?

Do it! Visit a place you’ve never seen before and start developing new habits. Fresh experiences will lead to greater self-appreciation. When you realize that you’re doing something good and exciting with your life, you’ll go through a personal transformation.

6. Remember: you’re not omnipotent. You’re not supposed to be!

You should not perceive yourself as a superhero that always does the right things and finds the right words for every situation. Being self-confident is different than being arrogant. What’s the word that characterizes people who think “I’m the smartest, most intelligent and most good looking man/woman in the room”?

Vanity! Such an attitude is usual for people who are projecting personal flaws through their behavior. When you respect other people, it will be easier for you to fit into the company and believe in your own worth.

7. Work on your physique

It’s awesome when people love you for who you really are, but your appearance also matters. It’s time to get out of your favorite sweatshirt and wear something that makes you feel beautiful. Treat yourself with a spa session, get a new haircut and change your clothes. You’ll immediately feel worthy of admiration.

8. Don’t base your confidence on professional success

Many people lack self-confidence because they estimate their worth on the professional success they achieve. That’s what they are doing wrong. Self-esteem is not measured through your career; it’s rather based on personal development. Learn, read, stay kind and appreciate other people. That’s how you become worthy of your own respect.

9. Focus your attention outwards

Introspection is necessary for building self-confidence. However, too much of it can get you in trouble when you have to communicate with other people.

You think about your body gestures, the things you say and the way you express yourself; and all these thoughts lead to a blockade. When you’re talking to other people, it’s important to focus your attention on the external information you receive.

Your brain has the power to process that information instantly, so you’ll have to trust it. You already have opinions; you only need to express them without thinking too much about the way they sound. Pay attention to the conversation and stay on topic.

10. Face the symptoms. Challenge them!

When you lack self-confidence, you usually avoid situations that make you feel inferior to other people. Don’t do that! It’s time to face life and challenge the symptoms you experience. Do you start to sweat and tremble? It’s okay!

Observe these physical manifestations, but don’t let them take your full attention. Stay conscious of the external information you receive. It takes a lot of practice to beat those symptoms, but facing challenging situations is the only way for making progress.

Serious lack of self-confidence may require the help of a psychologist. If you feel like you cannot help yourself, it’s time to take action and talk to a professional who understands you and knows how to help.

View Comments

  • Procuring self-confidence is definitely not easy, but it's oh so fun when you start to see the small changes in yourself.

    I liked the part about doing something you've never done before; it expands your horizon.

  • What really caught me is the 10th: Face the symptoms. Challenge them!
    I am the type of person that usually avoids interventions or situation I feel inferior but after reading this blog post it made me rethink of the usual strategy I do. Keep up!

  • One real factor that affects confidence is how good or bad a person's childhood was influenced. This is most likely the reason how people carry themselves. Blogging about this posts thus reaches out to the ones who needed it most.

Published by
Valerie Soleil, B.A., LL.B.