Are you searching for an answer? It might be hard to believe, but the flaws in your character could actually be from childhood emotional neglect.
The veil is being removed and now I can clearly see the reasons for why people behave the way they do. In ways, this makes life easier but in other ways, it makes life much more difficult. Those who suffer from childhood emotional neglect, as adults, are experiencing long-term effects. The roots of these actions are long and thick, causing a stronghold in daily life. Sometimes, I feel these symptoms as well.
Could I have been emotionally neglected as a child?
I was left with my grandmother, every weekday, while my parents worked. During those days, I was sexually abused by my adult cousin who paid a visit. Maybe my parents, in a sense, neglected me, but yet they had to work. Or was it my grandmother who was acting in a neglectful manner? Did they understand what they were doing? Probably not.
It was such a different way of life in the 70s. When my parents were at home, they never talked about my future and never really gave me credit for my creativity. It was normal to just keep me fed and safe. It wasn’t necessary to keep me enthusiastic.
I found the support that I needed in my older brother, who provided a small portion of the reinforcement that would give me a reason to live. We are still close to this day.
Have you been emotionally neglected?
If you try to figure it out on your own, it could be too difficult. There are signs, however, which point to the root of your feelings. If you suffered from childhood emotional neglect, you may have a better understanding after reading these indicators. Here are 7 signs that you probably were emotionally neglected.
Do you sometimes feel numb?
When I refer to being numb, I don’t mean losing physical sensations in certain parts of your body. I refer to losing emotional sensation in your thoughts. Numbness is a place where concerns become trivial, and emotions just disappear. Now, you might not feel numb all the time, but when you do, nothing matters.
You can almost feel like you are close to nothing, void and non-existent. After a while, you may actually start to experience a physical numbness.
Do you experience emotional confusion?
Those who have experienced childhood emotional neglect will sometimes be confused about what they’re feeling. They may be angry, irritated or depressed with no understanding of why they feel this way. Sometimes, they have trouble calming down as well, feeling anger and frustration continually building inside. It’s usually because of the past complex emotions after being left alone or forgotten.
Do you refuse help from others?
I have noticed with some people in my life, that no matter how difficult things become for them, they refuse to ask for help. In fact, I have felt this strange refusal as well. Using what I understand about the situation gives me insight. When neglected as a child, you sometimes had no help when you needed it the most. As an adult, you become used to this. Being dependent on someone else is abnormal for the emotionally neglected adult.
Do you often feel like something is missing?
When an adult has been emotionally neglected as a child, they will always have this hole inside. There will be a lingering feeling that something is missing from their lives, either a person or a situation that they may crave. Unfortunately, many people keep filling this space with things they hope will bring them joy but still feel so empty inside. You lose a sense of home and you lose a sense of love if not careful.
Do you have low self-esteem?
A low self-esteem also comes from being emotionally neglected as a child. You feel that if your parents and loved ones neglected you, then you aren’t worth their time or important to them. This is usually not true, but it’s complicated.
Oftentimes, parents just aren’t aware of the effects of their actions. As an adult, you transfer these feelings over to present situations and people. You experience a low self-esteem that sometimes becomes permanent and affects your home and work life. If you recognize this trait, you may have subject to childhood emotional neglect after all.
Are you a perfectionist?
If you are a perfectionist, you could have been neglected emotionally. Think about it this way, if your loved ones neglected you as a child, you could have tried almost anything to get their attention, even striving for perfection to be noticed. As an adult, this perfectionism grew and maybe, by now, you’ve become obsessed with this behavior.
Are you a neat freak, need everything to be organized perfectly, and even require perfectionist friends? You could still be trying to validate your existence. Be careful.
Are you sensitive to rejection and easily offended?
Being overly sensitive about much of anything is a sign of past rejection. You are afraid, and your fear is manifesting through being offended about what others say to you. Sometimes people are only offering constructive criticism, but those who have experienced childhood emotional neglect see it as being attacked.
How do you rate?
I never really considered the fact that I could have been emotionally abused in childhood until I understood the repercussions of this abuse. I had so many issues trying to figure out where each one of my faults and eccentricities derived. I saw my depression in a clear way, I saw my anxious traits in another, but there were things like listed above that I just couldn’t categorize….until now.
I appreciate the ability to learn the roots of my characteristics, how about you? When we learn where our faults come from, we will be able to heal each hurt and replace it with a peace of mind. I think it’s just one step closer to an enlightened self.
We’re getting closer. Just be patient.