Why Conflict Resolution Can Be Difficult for Empaths (and How to Master It)

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If you are an empath, you may struggle with conflict resolution. These techniques can help you overcome conflict without causing pain to yourself or others.

Empaths hate to upset people. This is because they will feel the other person’s emotions and suffer guilt for causing another’s pain. This can make it difficult for empaths to manage conflict resolution and get their needs met.

Unfortunately, this can lead to empaths being unable to stick up for themselves and create healthy boundaries. They will often put up with bad behaviour just to keep the peace.

Luckily, there are techniques that empaths can use to help with conflict resolution. These techniques can help them be true to themselves without causing unnecessary pain to others.

Here are five reasons why conflict resolution is difficult for empaths and effective techniques to master them.

1. You are afraid of hurting someone’s feelings

Empaths feel the emotions of others very deeply. So, if they upset someone else they experience both their own pain and the pain of the other person. So, it is little wonder that empaths avoid conflict at all costs. The irony is that empaths are actually better at dealing with conflict because of their empathetic nature.

Many people don’t care if they hurt someone else as long as they win the argument. Empaths are not like that. They can see things from the other person’s point of view and take a balanced view of disputes.

2. You can’t deal with people being angry with you

Many empaths are also highly sensitive. They react badly to other people being angry with them. For this reason, they will often not speak up when another person treats them badly. Unfortunately, the people we interact with soon learn this about empaths and know that simply a hint of anger will shut down the argument.

To overcome this is not easy for an empath. But ultimately, it comes down to learning to respect yourself and value who you are. When you are confident in your own abilities, you are less easily traumatized by another person’s anger.

Improving your self-confidence with a book or course can help. You can also use breathing techniques and grounding techniques to help you feel safe and calm in the face of another person’s anger.

3. Empaths can be easily manipulated

Because empaths dislike conflict so much, they can get easily flustered in an argument or dispute. They can then have their words twisted and manipulated until they feel they are the one in the wrong.

To overcome this, it can help empaths to write down their problems before discussing them with another person. This can help them stick to their point without being manipulated into feeling like they are in the wrong.

A simple statement of the problem or bullet point list can help. If you find yourself getting flustered, take a deep breath and glance at your statement or list to help you get back on track.

4. Empaths see all sides of the story

Because empaths can put themselves in another person’s shoes so easily, they can sometimes lose sight of their own identity, feelings and needs. The other person’s needs seem more important than their own. This makes it difficult for an empath to stick up for their own wishes.

There isn’t a simple solution to this problem. However, you can improve your conflict resolution skills with some time and work. The secret is to spend time alone getting to know yourself better. Once you have a clearer sense of identity, your own values, and of what is important to you, it will be easier for you to stay true to yourself.

5. You become overwhelmed

Often the emotions that happen in an argument or conflict are too much for an empath to deal with. Sometimes an empath will become overcome with strong emotions making them sob with despair and frustration. They will then leave the situation, unable to cope with it any longer, and abandon their attempt to be heard and understood.

Often empaths avoid conflict for so long that when they finally can’t stay quiet a moment longer they are already in a highly emotive state. The best approach to overcoming this is to deal with small problems as they arise rather than letting them build up.

It’s also wise to only begin a conversation that may involve conflict when feeling relatively calm. Once you are in a conflict situation, stick to only one point and keep bringing the conversation back to that so that you don’t feel overwhelmed.

They key for empaths to improve their conflict resolutions skills is to stay objective about the situation without letting emotions cloud their judgements. Avoid feeling words such as hate, upset or sad. Stick to the problem at hand and discuss it with the other person in a rational and objective way.

Closing thoughts

Empaths are actually very good at conflict resolution. Their ability to see someone else’s point of view and empathise with them means they are great mediators and diplomats.

However, when they are the person in a conflict, they can often struggle. The best advice is to work on your own sense of identity, values, goals and self-confidence. Doing this will make you feel more secure in yourself and more easily able to deal with negativity from others.

References:

  1. www.skillsyouneed.com
  2. berkeley.edu
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About the Author:

Kirstie works as a writer, blogger and storyteller and lives in London with her family of people, dogs and cats. She is a lover of reading, writing, being in nature, fairy lights, candles, firesides and afternoon tea. Kirstie has trouble sitting still which is why she created www.notmeditating.com to share techniques and practices for tuning out the busy mind. She is also the author of Not Meditating: Finding Peace, Love and Happiness Without Sitting Still.

One Comment

  1. Laura December 10, 2018 at 12:22 am - Reply

    I think the videos, awareness, and mindfulness about the kind of people that seem to come into my life ( Narcissists of all degrees) has hardened me, all relative as far as being an empath. It’s worn me out, but the self confidence has seemed to replace self hatred. I can see the void in those I once tried to please, it’s not worth the time, effort, and heart ache. The best time spent is away from those kind of people. That time has allowed me to see things from my authentic self’s perspective, and I feel so much lighter, (negative vibes further and farther between) so my core is still the same, but my responses and ability to say No, not worry about pleasing everyone all the time has developed exponentially. The necessity of knowing it’s an exercise in futility to please all, especially those who are NEVER going to be pleased by me, or by most anyone who tries was critical in getting to this point….. Life’s too short to put so much energy into others’ manipulations and exploits. In the eyes of our creator, doing ourselves wrong is the same as doing others harm, and sometimes the behaviors we are more comfortable with are incompatible with our authentic selves, and THAT is when it’s a great disservice to not just ourselves, but we’re really not helping others who only resent or take advantage of it. Take care of yourself first, always, then volunteer to help the needy, those who are lonely, child advocacy, loving animals in homeless shelters, and keeping your awareness for exploiters in tact at all times. Let yourself feel angry, with no guilt. Let your hurt become anger, like it would if you saw someone you cared about be treated the same way… Why should we get angry about an injustice done to someone else, but not to ourselves? Emotions can flip back and forth in some types between intense love, then just as, if not more, intense and dangerous hate. We can’t subject ourselves to that. Empaths need to see when we’re accepting the role as a Sacrificial Lamb. If that’s what you believe you’re here for, you’re too damaged to be a genuine empath. The inverted narcissist is a self labeled empath who can’t see their insane selfish ability to expose themselves to so much suffering….It’s because they do not have empathy, they’re more vacant, so sitting in a room with an old mean and bitter nasty person (who is usually like that because they’ve been hurt all their life) as a full time job isn’t because they care, but just the opposite. I met someone so malignantly narcissistic, they had no ability to see themselves as they are — COLD, selfish, and myopic to the point of someone dying in their presence didn’t effect them whatsoever..Creepy. That person is perfect for that kind of job. An empath has to evolve beyond “passionate careers” into those that aren’t harming the public, but we need to guard and conserve our emotional energy to stay sound. Having empathy for self and others makes us more effective and respected as an example for those who evoke our emotions or have strong emotions that we pick up on and feel so intensely. It’s taken years, but however many kinds of empaths there are, the gift in it comes from the lack of unnecessary pain we catch from others, rather our ability to shield ourselves from it, and filter it out shifting it into positive vibes. Our strength can only come through by being able to do that or we’ll have to continue fleeing from the sources of that negative vibe, and no one should have to live like that. The intuitive side has to be nurtured and given more attention to enhance and grow it into the true gift it is. THEN these positions that empaths are told they’re not suitable for will prove to be those they master with exceptional skills others will seek time and time again.

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