Dreaming about an ex can be unsettling, particularly for those in abusive relationships. But can they offer insight into our daily lives?

You might wonder how a dream about an ex-partner can shed light on what’s happening in our day-to-day life. For example, what does it mean for those who are in happy relationships? On the other hand, what about people that are single? How is dreaming about a past ex-partner relevant to our present?

Well, you could argue that we all made up of our past experiences. The things that happened to us when we were younger have shaped us into the people we are today. But clearly, if we are dreaming about an ex-partner, then something is not quite right. But what exactly?

Why do we dream?

Freud believed that dreams are a window into the subconscious mind. He argued that we all have hidden desires, wishes and thoughts that we feel ashamed to voice out loud. As a result, we bury all these hidden desires and they fester in the subconscious. Dreams allow us to process these desires in a healthy manner.

Every dream is unique to us. It is packed full of our own experiences and emotions. Each dream contains symbols and clues that give us hints as to what our subconscious mind is trying to tell us.

There are some would argue that the fact we are dreaming about an ex is irrelevant. However, our subconscious mind has chosen an ex-partner because it believes this is the perfect way to tell us about a particular problem that needs attention.

So, what can we learn about dreams that feature an ex-partner?

Dreaming about an Ex: 6 Meanings and Interpretations

  1. Unresolved issues

I often dream about a certain ex-partner and I believe this is because of unresolved issues between myself and my ex. We were together for ten years and broke up over 18 years ago. However, of all my ex-partners, he is the one I dream about the most.

He was a very controlling person who was jealous all the time. I was a flirtatious person who was probably not the best match for him. The relationship ended very badly.

When I’m dreaming about my ex, I am living in his house and he is not there, but I know he will come back at any time. I think this represents the fear and anxiety I used to feel in our relationship when he would look around for things I had done wrong so he could punish me.

If you are dreaming about your ex, consider whether you have unresolved issues as well. Was the break-up difficult? Do you feel cheated because you didn’t get your share of the house or other possessions?

  1. Symbolic of other problems

Dreams are symbolic. Many people worry that because they have dreamt of an ex they subconsciously want them back, but that’s not the case. Exes are exes for a reason. Whether it was your decision to break up or not.

Think about why the relationship ended. Was it you that finished it and why? Do you regret it? What could you have done differently if you do regret it?

Even if you didn’t end it, think about how you can prevent the same thing from happening in the future. If your dream about your ex is recurring, then understanding why your relationship ended and what you can do in the future may put a stop to these ongoing dreams.

  1. You are missing a part of your life with the ex

Our partners are so much more than that person. They are a lifestyle, a circle of friends, an extended family, even an income bracket.

When I split up with my ex, I found out very quickly that surviving on a civil servant salary was a huge change compared to a joint income with my ex. I went from living in a four-bedroomed house in a lovely little village to renting one room in a shared house in the city centre.

Now, my situation is different and I’m very happy, and yet I still dream of my ex. Perhaps I am resentful that he still owns that lovely house in the village? I hope not. But it’s something to be aware of.

Remember, dreaming about an ex doesn’t mean you are missing your ex, it could be the house you lived in, the area, the mutual friends you had, or all the things you did together.

  1. Your ex represents a part of you

There is a theory that your ex represents a part of you that you might be neglecting. For example, if your ex-partner was particularly loving and you are in a relationship at present, consider your behaviour with your current partner.

Are you being as warm and as caring as you should be? Could your dream about your ex be a wake-up call about your current relationship?

The best way to analyse this dream is to look at your ex-partner’s best or worst qualities and see whether you are either replicating them or you need to pay attention to the ones you are lacking.

  1. A chance to forgive

In life, we don’t always get the opportunity for closure. People can walk away without giving explanations about their behaviour. Or, they can act inappropriately without facing the consequences.

It can leave us with unfinished business. We can’t move on. However, our dreams allow us to process these unresolved issues.

In our dreams, it doesn’t matter whether your ex feels sorry for causing you upset and pain. You have the to power to forgive and make peace with the situation.

In fact, if you keep having dreams about your ex, forgiving them while you are awake might stop you dreaming about them when you’re asleep. Only then will you be able to move on.

  1. There is something lacking in your current partner

If the dream about your ex was your first love and you are in a relationship, this is a sign that you feel something is missing in your current relationship.

Our first love reminds us of passion, our youth, and the excitement of being in love for the first time. Therefore, if you are dreaming of your first ex-partner, it is your subconscious nudging you to regain these feelings with your present partner.

Dreaming about an ex has all kinds of meanings and interpretations. The main point to remember is that it doesn’t have to mean you still have feelings for an ex-partner.

If you keep dreaming about an ex, it’s more likely that your subconscious is using this to tell you about an issue that needs resolving right now.


  1. www.bustle.com
  2. www.thecut.com

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This Post Has 2 Comments

  1. Simone

    Can we take our dreams literally? I had a dream about my ex, he apologized to me and I forgave him. However, in reality, I would never forgive him. I had this dream several times, sometimes even twice a week.

  2. Alvin Rosales

    I wake up this morning, guilty, i dreamed of may ex, shes beside’s me, shes my first love, and one true love, i just blow her away and push her away, becouse that time, i dont have anything that ia can promise her, im a no one guy, so i just let her go, even if i love her so much, i sacrifice feelings, for her to find a better person, not like me, a loser, its almost 10 years, when break, but she always come in my dreams, just like before, she is the loving loving person ive known, and feel sorry for my self becouse i let her go. ( tears falling icant help it, sorry)

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