Being emotionally detached can have many positives – it suits our introverted personalities to keep the people at a safe distance.

We are also great at handling criticism and we’re the go-to person for advice since we stay emotionless in drama-filled situations. However, there are also many drawbacks of being emotionally cold that you can only identify with if you are such kind of a person yourself:

1. Being the only dry-eyed person in the cinema

Sometimes, it can be great not to cry at sad movies – it means no snotty mess, no streaking mascara and no noisy sniffles. But occasionally, it may be nice to experience a sad moment the way others around us do, especially when we get glared at for being so cold.

2. When people expect you to be open about your feelings

This dreaded scenario can come in many forms – a relationship, a friendship or sometimes a complete stranger. At some point, you will be expected to speak about your feelings and if you’re emotionally detached, it just won’t happen. This isn’t to say you don’t have any feelings, but that you don’t generally want to share the ones you do have, especially not on demand.

3. You tend to feel awkward when somebody tells you their feelings

If somebody is opening up to you about their feelings or emotions, chances are you won’t have a clue what to say in response. Whether it’s somebody telling you they love you or crying on your shoulder about their bad day, your usual response is to awkwardly say “erm” or excuse you from the situation.

4. You’re used to being the one everyone turns to in a crisis

Being so calm and emotionless means you’re level headed in an emergency situation. Whilst this is undoubtedly a positive thing, it also means you will end up having to deal with everybody else’s problems too.

5. If a serious conversation is happening, you tend to use humour

Using wit or sarcasm as a form of humour to hide behind is one of your go-to coping mechanisms for emotional conversations. Because of this, you’re also used to people close to you getting frustrated with the fact they can’t have a serious conversation with you.

6. People forget you do actually have feelings

People become so used to your cold heart that they get used to saying anything to you – regardless of how hurtful it may be. Unfortunately, we do have feelings and when people forget that, it doesn’t end well.

7. Clingy people really scare you

People who are overly dependent and clingy scare the living daylights out of you because you’re used to being independent and are most definitely not used to having to deal with so much emotion.

8. Not many people know what goes on in your life

As an emotionally detached person, it’s not just emotions you tend to shut off from people, but your day to day life too. It becomes such a habit to not rely on others that the people closest to you may actually struggle to keep up with what you’re doing in your life as you just don’t tell them.

9. When you like someone, you tend to push them away

Experiencing feelings for another human can be a terrifying thing for somebody who is emotionally detached, so you tend to shut it down and push them away as much as you can out of fear of your own emotions.

10. People struggle to cope with you

New people may struggle to cope with your lack of emotional expression, but the important thing is that those who are in your life know what you’re like and accept you for you.

It’s not easy being emotionally detached, but it makes it a little bit easier knowing others share our pain. Can you identify with anything on this list or do you know someone who is emotionally detached? Let us know your thoughts in the comments.

Christina Lawson, B.A.

Copyright © 2012-2020 Learning Mind. All rights reserved. For permission to reprint, contact us.

Like what you are reading?

Sign up to our list of over 50,000 subscribers and get thought-provoking updates to your inbox!

*We respect your privacy and promise we will never spam you with unwanted emails.