Why Expressing Feelings Can Be Difficult for Introverts (and How to Learn to Do It)

Expressing feelings can be tough for introverts and there are some good reasons why. Fortunately, there are ways you can get better at this.

About 30% of the global population is introverted. What does it mean to be an introvert and why can expressing feelings be a real struggle when you are one?

Introverts have a secluded, silent yarn. When they don’t know a person well enough, they may seem reserved and distant. They feel good in familiar environments, and in terms of friendships, their circle is restricted.

Even though introverts spend much time in their inner world, they would hardly reveal anything about it to the outer world. That’s why they prefer listening to the others rather than talking about themselves. For the same reason, expressing feelings can be a struggle for an introverted person.

The strengths of an introvert:

• are good listeners
• are independent
• have a deep and original thinking
• have integrity
• they have a well-integrated sense of self
• are constant in what they do
• they have stable and profound feelings

Despite their wonderful character and deep intelligence, introverts often struggle to communicate their emotions and express their feelings. If you want to help an introvert become more open, the first step is to understand that you cannot force them to behave like an extrovert.

Thus, if you are a parent of an introverted child, you should patiently support them to develop their communication skills. For introverts, these skills do not come in naturally as in the case of extroverts.

But what inhibits adult introverts from talking about their feelings? Below are 3 reasons why expressing feelings can be difficult for introverts.

1. Timidity

Many introverts do not feel comfortable in large groups of people, and you will notice from their attitude that they would like to be elsewhere and not be disturbed by anyone. This happens because the public can usually be their worst nightmare, unlike the extroverts, who feel like a fish in the water in a noisy and large crowd.

That’s why you have to approach an introvert with calmness, without much noise and agitation. If you fail to do this, you risk intimidating him/her seriously, and communication is about to become a fiasco.

What you can do is to take your time to discover the introvert and limit yourself to a few questions to create a relaxed atmosphere. At the same time, avoid all sorts of obvious remarks and questions such as: “You do not feel well here, do you?” Or “You’re a little shy, are not you?”

To take an introvert out of their comfort zone, give them some quality humor and an interesting topic to debate.

2. No aggressivity for introverts

Introverts usually have a rich & vivid inner life and that’s why they feel very well in their own company.

They don’t waste their time in crowded places where they do not feel comfortable, and if you want to have a conversation with such a person, it would be advisable to meet her/him in a quiet, natural place, because introverts need to be in touch with their senses.

3. Pessimism

Introverts can see a situation from many standpoints, which many times can turn them into pessimists. This feeling can be amplified when they interact with people because introverts can easily absorb others’ emotions.

An additional reason that may make introverts struggle with expressing their feelings is the fear of having their thoughts and feelings ignored or disregarded. The solution is to help them gain their trust, so they can freely talk about their feelings and tell you their worries or dreams.

What to do if you are introvert and think that your communication skills need an improvement?

If expressing feelings is a struggle for you, try these tips:

1. Control your thoughts

Most people have a tendency to focus on the negative thoughts. Whether we are talking about worries or negative events that have happened in the past, people tend to think of what could go wrong instead of concentrating on what they have to do.

You have to be aware that there is a risk to fail, but you should not focus your thoughts on a possible failure but on what you have to do. And whatever you have to do, do it well! So, when engaging in a conversation, do not assume that people will not fully understand you or that they may judge you.

2. Get out of your comfort zone whenever you have the opportunity

It is said that whenever you do something that you are afraid of, you suddenly find that things do not turn out to be that bad. If you like to spend more time in solitude, perhaps you should dare to meet new people, new minds who will inspire and motivate you.

3. Be careful who your friends are

You need to know that the people you spend time with are very important as they can either support or hinder your growth. Do not hesitate to kick those who do not value you as a person.

True friends encourage each other when they have problems. So, if you have people around who tend to point out your weaknesses, make sure they are no longer in your circle.

4. Rest and exercise

For you to be content with who you are, you have to look after yourself. And that includes a healthy lifestyle. Regular physical activity, healthy nutrition and good quality sleep. This will boost up your confidence and trust in your skills to connect to the world.

Take courage! The world is not as scary as it may look.