Does Facebook ruin relationships and friendships? Well, to be honest, no. But the misuse of social media can crush these connections. It all depends on how you use your time online.
I often say that I miss the 80s or the early 90s, and that’s because it was a simpler time for me. If I had an issue with someone, I either worked through it alone or contacted them personally. There was no social media for me, at least not until much later. Then everything changed.
How Facebook ruins relationships when used the wrong way
We must keep in mind, on Facebook, we each have our pages, and we post what we want, to a certain extent, that is. Unfortunately, it can get ugly on Facebook, just like on other sites like Instagram.
It doesn’t matter which new social media platform emerges; we can make it what we wish. So, technically, Facebook doesn’t ruin our relationships or friendships on its own. However, the way we use Facebook can ruin relationships. Here’s how.
1. Oversharing
It’s okay to share things on social media. I mean, that’s part of what it’s used for.
But, if you’re sharing every single detail of your life, it can leave nothing to mystery. When you spend time with your friends outside of social media, you won’t have anything to talk about. I am sure they’d have already seen it on Facebook beforehand anyway.
Oversharing can mean revealing details about your intimate relationships too, which you should never do. Although your relationship status doesn’t have to be secret, you shouldn’t broadcast all the details about what happens in your relationship.
Revealing too much can give other people reasons to interfere in your relationship, which can be trouble.
2. Can cause jealousy and insecurity
The thing about social media, like Facebook, is that people try to show their best selfies, all the best vacation photos, and even brag about their latest purchases. To others, this may seem like a perfect life.
However, just a little intelligence will tell you that people are only showing their best sides. They also have bad selfies, awkward holidays pics, and most of them aren’t constantly buying things.
Unfortunately, people in relationships can get jealous when their partner is looking at the ‘best’ of others. Instead of using logic, they strive to ‘one-up’ what they see.
For instance, if you see a perfectly filtered selfie, you may try to create an even better one. This may take hours of your time, hours you should be spending doing something more substantial. But because of jealousy, time is often wasted on social media in competition.
3. Can affect sleep and intimacy
If you’re scrolling through Facebook late at night instead of spending time with your significant other, this is a problem. And maybe both of you are doing this simultaneously.
However, looking at the lives of other people, including celebrities, is detrimental to true intimacy. Staying away from the screen for at least an hour before bed is best to encourage healthy intimacy in relationships.
The same goes for sleep. It’s much harder to fall asleep after staring at social media for hours. If you’re scrolling through Facebook, being entertained by various posts, then you’re going to be kept awake for hours, losing sleep, and then feeling tired the next day.
This can have a domino effect, making it harder to have healthy work relationships due to your irritability and fatigue from loss of sleep. Staying up at night on social media can also cause a strain in your intimate relationship because you’re up late while your partner is trying to sleep.
4. Can cause infidelity
Whether you message an ex-boyfriend or meet someone new online, Facebook can be used to commit infidelity. Now, let’s get this straight.
I am not blaming the social platform itself. I am placing the blame firmly on the person who uses the platform in this manner. If you are tempted to message ex-boyfriends and you’re in a committed relationship, maybe you shouldn’t be on Facebook or other social platforms at all.
And just so you know, it doesn’t start with flirting. It can start just as easily as accepting a friend request from someone you should leave alone.
5. Family feuds on Facebook
Sometimes family members post rude things to other family members on Facebook. This is so distasteful. However, it seems to be the normal thing these days. These remarks can completely ruin relationships and drive wedges between family members for long periods.
I personally know two sisters who haven’t spoken for 5 years due to an argument on social media. So, does Facebook ruin relationships? No, but fighting with family members while on Facebook surely can.
6. Only communicating through Facebook
I know you’ve noticed those cryptic posts and copy/pasted quotes that seem to be directed at someone. Yes, that is Facebook communication. So often, you can scroll through Facebook and recognize when couples are having problems. That’s because one of them is posting quotes to express how they feel.
If you know who their significant other is, then soon they will be posting quotes too. It’s interesting how two people can fight through quotes and cryptic messages, while at home completely ignoring each other. It may not seem like such a big deal, but it will slowly erode the relationship.
It’s not the platform, it’s the person
Facebook ruins relationships and friendships if you’re using it in an unhealthy way. But remember, Facebook is only social media. It can also be used to connect with long-lost friends and promote small businesses. So, it depends on your mindset.
My suggestion: when you’re spending more time on Facebook than with the people around you, then there’s your problem. Take a step back and spend time with the ones you love. It’s that simple.
