When you’re facing adversity in life, remember the popular saying. “Whatever doesn’t kill you makes you stronger”. It’s actually quite true.
I recently learned a curious fact about facing adversity. It seems there is a sweet spot in life experiences that makes adults much stronger. It seems that too much trauma all during life damages physical and mental health, but….we know this already, right.
The interesting part is that little or no trauma also leaves us weak, just in another way. We simply lack experience in negative situations. But there’s a type of person, one who suffered childhood trauma but was able to bounce back in life, who seems to be the strongest overall.
How to overcome adversity
Facing adversity during early trauma primes us for hardship during adulthood. We may have experienced problems like alcoholic parents, bullies, or even abuse, but we survived. Since we’ve been through these things, when we reached adulthood and something happened, we were more resilient.
I’m not advocating childhood trauma by no means, it just is what it is. If you’re still struggling with adversity, here are a few tips that may help.
1. The mindset
You’ve heard things about positivity all your life. Unfortunately, some of these times, you refused to utilize this positivity for strength. However, having a positive mindset remains one of the best ways of facing adversity. Although it’s hard to smile while you’re getting your heart ripped out, it’s a bit easier to speak positive mantra into your life afterward.
When bad things happen, and they will, it’s smart to keep in mind that you have a secret weapon. This secret weapon is a good mindset. Yes, it’s okay to feel sad or angry, but as long as you can feel those emotions and bounce back to default positive, you already have a head start on the others who are struggling.
2. Learning
Did you know that facing adversity is a chance to learn something new? Believe it or not, going through negative situations or dealing with mean people can teach you many things about life.
For instance, you can learn to be patient when dealing with difficult individuals, you can learn to do things differently when projects fall through, and you can even learn how to find peace when you cannot control your situation.
Instead of growing bitter when you encounter multiple negative situations, instead ask yourself this question, “What can I learn this time?” If you ask this question, it helps you focus on a solution to improve the problem. And, as I said, if you can’t change it, you can learn to accept things as they are and make your next decision according to that new fact.
3. Search for understanding
For so many of us, we want to know why bad things happen, right? Well, I certainly do. Many times, when going through grueling situations, I question why these things have to happen to me. They usually feel personal because they cause me so much pain.
Now, you might not always learn why things happen, but if you do learn the reason, appreciate the fact that you have gained understanding. This understanding will help you avoid such situations in the future.
4. Patience
If your adversity is ongoing, then you will need to learn this superpower – it’s called patience. I call it a superpower because it’s one of the hardest things for me to master. It seems that some negative situations just cannot be resolved in one instance, one day, one week, or even one month. Sometimes it takes quite a long period for adversity to be dissolved.
For instance, if you cannot purchase a car because you’re credit is low, you have to take the time to build your credit score. Not only that, you sometimes have to wait years for negative debts to be removed improving that score. In this situation, patience and perseverance are key. You work toward a solution that is not in your time frame.
5. Be thankful
Always have an attitude of gratitude. When you’re thankful for what you have instead of being angry about what you don’t have, then you open up your future for more. Look, everything that happens to us happens for some reason. While we may not understand why we should still be thankful for the good things that remain as well.
If you think about adversity as a guide in life, you can learn so much about why things happen. After all, you wouldn’t be where you are today if it wasn’t for both the blessings and the disappointments that you’ve experienced thus far. So be thankful, because things could always get worse than what you’re experiencing right now.
6. Talk yourself through
Talking to yourself during adversity can work both ways. It can lift you up or it can further bring you down. This is where you make one of the most important decision after facing adversity. Most people, when something bad happens, will use negative self-talk. This type of behavior has no positive effect whatsoever.
Instead of saying bad things about yourself, try saying positive things instead. For instance, don’t say, “I can’t do this”, but instead, say, “I can make things right”. You can even pump yourself up and say, “I am worthy, and I will get through this.” Yes, it may take some action as well, but positive talk is always better than putting yourself down.
7. Take action
Sometimes you have to be patient and at other times, you have to take action. In some circumstances, say the event of an accident, you may even need legal help. According to personal injury lawyers, you have rights and can take action with these basic rights.
Discernment is often needed when deciding whether to wait or take action when things happen. If you do believe you should act on your concerns, seek support and advice beforehand. This can help you prevent acting emotion instead of logic.
Remember, you have choices
When facing adversity, here’s something you should think about. No matter what happens in life, you have many choices. Successful leaders understand this and utilize these choices on a regular basis. They question the direction in front of them and regularly considered other pathways to success.
If you’re facing adversity, stay calm and take a moment to understand which way you should approach your problem. Then, with skill and wisdom, you can keep moving forward.
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So true to life!
Simply brilliant… Deeply meaningful… Am deeply grateful…
It just is what it is!
Thank you for reading, Lazar.