Do you feel like you don’t belong here, in this world and society? You will be surprised to know that it may actually be a good thing.
We grow up believing that in order to be happy, we need to belong somewhere – a society, a country, a social circle, and finally, a family.
The desire to be a part of something bigger than ourselves seems to be our innate need, which probably has evolutionary roots (remember the well-known notion that human is a social animal?). As Wikipedia states, “belongingness is the human emotional need to be an accepted member of a group.”
But what happens in the case of people who don’t only lack this need but also feel that they don’t really fit in this world? Some individuals don’t simply consider themselves different from the rest – they actually have different tastes, ways of thinking, and priorities in life. They don’t like popular things and activities and don’t go after the goals most people pursue.
They may seem a sort of weirdos to those around them, but the truth is that there is a bright side of being a “misfit.”
Today, we will discuss four categories of people who are very likely to have a sense of detachment from the world because of their emotional and mental makeup. Moreover, it’s not a bad thing at all and is, in fact, an indication of increased awareness and sensitivity.
1. Deep thinkers
Sadly, the society we live in is giving more and more importance to primitive instincts and material needs. So it makes sense why individuals capable of deep thought may feel like they don’t belong here.
If you are a deep thinker, then you probably know what truly matters in life. That’s why seeing people around you chasing ephemeral goals and being interested in meaningless stuff is so disappointing. It’s not only disappointing – sometimes, it makes you wonder what you are doing here, among these people, and feel like you come from another world.
2. Old souls
Old souls often feel like they don’t belong here, especially when growing up. Being passionate about unpopular things may make others pick up on your differences and tease you for it. And this can be painful in your awkward childhood and teenage years, making you feel like a misfit who doesn’t have a place in this world.
In your adult years, this gap separating you from other people only becomes bigger. However, you find your path in life and don’t care the same about what they think about you.
3. Empaths
Empaths are so sensitive to the emotions and energy of other people that they may find it uncomfortable to be around them. If you are an empath, you know that every time you watch a news broadcast or learn something sad about someone you know, you get truly upset.
All these side effects of being an empath can also provoke a sense of detachment. And it’s no surprise – there is so much greed, cruelty, and violence in today’s world that an empath may suffer, being a part of it.
4. People who experience a spiritual awakening
A spiritual awakening is a great experience that elevates you to a higher level of consciousness and turns you into a spiritually evolved being. However, it is also paired with painful feelings and experiences because fundamental changes are never easy.
Not only do you start to wonder about the existence, reconsidering your life decisions and relationships, but you may also feel detached from those around you and the world in general. It’s all because you are becoming more aware and understand things you previously turned a blind eye to.
If you feel like you don’t belong here, remember that there is nothing wrong with you.
Instead of worrying about what others think and seeking their approval, try to find your passion and life purpose. And it’s fine if it doesn’t seem attractive or “cool” to most people. The point is that it should fill your life with meaning and happiness.
Did any of the above-described things ring true for you? We would love to hear your thoughts on this.
If you are feeling like a misfit, you may want to read my recent articles that provide some guidance for coping with this emotional state:
- ‘I Don’t Belong Anywhere’: What to Do If You Feel This Way
- Do You Feel Disconnected from Reality? How to Stop Dissociation and Reconnect
- Feeling Alienated from Everyone? Why It Happens and How to Cope
When the flood of comments came in response to this article, I realized that there were far more people who felt like they didn’t belong here, in this world and society, than I had imagined.
Inspired by this fact, I wrote the book The Power of Misfits: How to Find Your Place in a World You Don’t Fit In to help all those introverts, empaths, and deep thinkers who feel alien to modern society. If you are feeling this way and are looking for answers, you may want to check my book on Amazon.
Excellent article that I am sure many peoplel relate to.
I’m glad I’m not alone in this
Wow! Love this article! 🙂
Reminds me to the famous Steve Jobs quote: “Here’s to the crazy ones, the misfits, the rebels, the troublemakers, the round pegs in the square holes… the ones who see things differently — they’re not fond of rules… You can quote them, disagree with them, glorify or vilify them, but the only thing you can’t do is ignore them because they change things… they push the human race forward, and while some may see them as the crazy ones, we see genius, because the ones who are crazy enough to think that they can change the world, are the ones who do.”
Excellent reading most of what is very true
It’s good to have affirmation when you live in a part of the country where there is no affinity. I have been a “misfit” my entire life, and I thought for years that it was my fault. Then after five years of intense self-work I had an awakening and was able to see my situation much more clearly. I have been working on myself ever since and I have found great happiness and contentment. However, no one in my family, including my children, is open to my transformation, they remain worshipers of the material world. Entertainment and acquisition is their thing. So I have had to detach from them, but in a loving way, and continue my journey. Thanks for the boost!
Great article, definitely hits home as I has felt much like a “Stranger in a Strange Land” for most of my life. I have learned to value difference in myself and in others. While it has been difficult at time to resist the pressures to conform, it has been worthwhile learning to become an authentic human being.
I get a little worried when I read this acticle, because I think I might have a tendency to believe in a “myth” of separation….that I believe myself to be more different and disconnected form everybody else, than is actually the case.
In continuation of the above comment on the myth of separation, i want to share that I also feel like there are some areas of life that I don’t belong to, even though id like to. Its as if there is something wrong about me that precludes me from belong to certain things. So as a consequence i don’t allow myself to explore those areas that i actually feel like belonging to……
Raedibg this article made me feel like it waa describing me. Absolitely spot on.
Thanks Anna for this wonderful post. I now know there are people who also feel the way I do and i’m not alone.
What about the… “…is there not more..?” category???
Once, a few decades ago, someone called me ‘Jack the Jacker’… I think due to my seeming inability to stay with one career choice.
Army, Driver, Carpet fitter, Paramedic, the list goes on…
I have never stayed in the one house for more than 7 years, I have never felt a belonging.
I am not Antisocial, and have enjoyed the company of others, but have always felt apart.
Is there not more?
Money? Actually, the things money affords you… Cars, clothes, travel etc.
I am not a narcissist, I’m not handsome, nor ugly. I don’t deserve more than you or others, nor do I deserve less;
But, really… Is there not more?
I feel the need to belong, but is there not more?
Totally agree to the articles. I experience all of the above since I was a kid n now w my empath state expanding more n more after a new state of spiritual awakening that I achieved recently, I feel harder n harder to be here!
Feeling glad that thr is nothing like attitude which most of the people use to say….. when i tell them….. That i feel like an outsider here….
I have all 4 of these personality traits. I feel lost, but never alone.
People like me at a distance more like. I’ve never really felt really loved except my dad who passed, and babies & children love me. Because Im sweet and honest. People tell me there problems even perfect strangers and ask my opinion like I would have the answer for them like I’m a messenger. I always do have a answer or word of wisdom as others say. They usually end the conversation with Your a angel. People have given me that nick name. I relate more with children , and animals. I love simple things. I do feel empathic good and bad feeling coming from people. So I can go in a crowd, but can’t stay long because the mixture of feelings becomes overwhelming. I use painting or nature or working with my plants to drowned the world’s noise.
When I read your posts my thought was that I’m the same in many ways.
I’m trying to find others. I don’t understand anyof it. I just want to hide from the world. I look and watch people and their features are odd to me. I wonder about their lives and how they think. I’m curious about people but I don’t trust. When I have it was too much. I look to the heavens and miss home. The gallaxy fascinates me but also scares me a bit. I long to go home. I see and feel so different. Too much empathy. I feel lost here. Heaven is were I long for. I know I’m not alone and I see and feel people that are not there passing through my home as if one their way someplace. Someone told me I was a port to the other side.it doesn’t scare me or anything. I’m highly sensitive to everything around me. I can feel others pain even when they don’t show it. Don’t know if others are also as me the rarest blood type as well as my insides are in the wrong places. Does it make a difference how I was created? Any answers? Each day is getting more confusing.
Im really glad im not alone in this (i thought i was the only one) This artical is amazing i will be sending this to a couple of friends . Thank you so much .
So glad that I can finally describe this feeling in words
I identify with all of the above. I am 38 now, and this feeling is intensifying to the point of anxiety. The feeling that I don’t belong here. That I am a tourist in this world. That my soul has been somehow misplaced. The feeling that I am wasting my time, like I am sitting in a waiting room anticipating my name being called. I am sure that I do not feel relationships as deeply as others. It makes me feel like a bad mother and wife. I realize that no lottery winnings or dream vacation or job promotion will make me truly happy or content. I keep having these VERY odd VERY specific coincidences, far beyond a song in your car playing that you were just humming in the house. More like studying for college, turning a page and reading a scientific theory title and an actor on tv stating the name of that scientific theory at the exact same time. It was Coulomb’s Law, by the way, not something common like the big bang theory. Or drawing a Christmas ornament for your daughter to color, her recognizing the shape and stating “Oh, a Christmas ornament!” and a Christmas ornament falling off of the tree and rolling across the floor with no one around it at the EXACT same time. This stuff happens to me almost daily. Sometimes several times a day. I try to dismiss most of it but some coincidences are just too specific. It is starting to freak my family out.
I try not to watch the news or read articles because I can’t let go of all of the bad in this world. I will spend hours analyzing the horrors I see and hear and find myself almost always emotionally drained. I am physically tired ALL of the time. My doctors blame it on life long hormone imbalance. I think there is much more to it. Medication cannot cure what is going on with me. It has been able to distract me from it for short periods of time but the feeling of not belonging is too strong to be repressed for long.
My question is, what do we do about it? I am so anxious for answers. The thoughts consume my mind. I feel like I am waiting to die just so I can, hopefully, finally find out why I feel the way I do. I am positive that I do not belong here. This all feels like smoke and mirrors. Just a distraction from something much more important.
I would love for like minded individuals to contact me. This feeling is so overwhelming. I am glad to see I am not alone.
Audrey,hi I read about the feelings you are experiencing,I too feel that I don’t belong in this world,it is very overwhelming to the point that,I struggle too be happy,my children,and other people around me,even though I know them,i feel so out of this world,I can’t even explain it’s almost like your at a store,and you see all these people,that look to me like robots,all I here is a bunch of voices,even at funniest event,I feel so disconnected.i feel like I’m just going through the motions here on earth,waiting like you said just to find an answer! And waking up in the middle of the night laughing uncontrollably.like I was there in the other place so happy! Never recalling any dream I had.
Audrey, everything you said is exactly like me and made me feel so much better that i’m not alone in this. i need someone to talk to about this that i know truly understands. I hope for you to see this and write me back. more info about what i’m feeling: I’ve come to the conclusion that i am not depressed. for so many years i thought it was just depression and that i can get help. this is not the case. i’ve come to realize that the society and the world we live in today is so draining and too much for my empathetic brain to deal with. its so hard to type this because i honestly am so lost in my thoughts and feeling this constant confusion of why i’m here. things that make others so happy don’t excite me. i’m longing to just zone out from this world and find actual meaning. nobody i’ve ever met has ever come close to understanding me. i don’t even understand me. but everything hurts me and i am too just waiting for a way out. an answer to why i feel like this. to learn more about the universe and discover more of my subconsious abilities. i want to be free from this place.
Everything above relates to me too. I experience the same thing, the feelings are so deep. And I’m only 17.. coincidences also happen in my life so often that I’ve had to actually start writing them down. I think deeply all the time and I realize there’s no one I can relate to, barely even my family. Other people don’t make sense to me sometimes and I feel so disconnected and out of place all the time even when I’m by myself
People like us are different… But what does this mean or are we just suffering from diseases the “normal” people make up to make us seem like were ill?? who’s to believe n what is there to believe…the meaning of life is to find what u believe… And I believe I’m different
I am only 17 too, I relate deeply to what you said. I always feel like I cant talk to anyone or if I do, I am never happy with the outcome cause people don’t understand or relate. Even tried explaining to my mum and she took me to the doctors where they described me as depressed… I never feel lonely but Its a different feeling. I like being in solitude as everyone else just annoys me. Would love to talk to anyone here who feels the same as this comment section has given me a bit of faith to keep going
When I read your comment, I had to think for a minute and ask myself, did I write this? But, I did not write this, you did. It’s exactly the same way that I’ve been feeling and get this, I’m 38 years old as well. I’ve always been strange, never felt like I fit in. I just come to think, I should just be by myself, because no-one understands and they all look at me like I’m nuts. It’s very refreshing to see a like minded person as me.
I can relate to all of what has been said,, the thing is though that it has only been in the last 2 to 3 years for me that it has become more apparent and pronounced. I have pretty much distanced myself from all friends that I have had mainly because I just cannot stand to be around them for too long as their energy just makes me so uncomfortable and lethargic that it caused me anxiety when hearing from a friend wanting to catch up.. I can’t watch TV because of the blatant brainwashing and mind numbing that they push on us people so I find myself constantly reading and trying to find a purpose. I would love to just pack up the necessities and head up to a mountain/forest and live among the nature and wildlife..
Wow you completely described me. It’s getting worse and worse or better and better. I don’t even know anymore. I have constant dreams also that happen just as I dreamed. It feels like a matrix and I keep seeing glitches. I’ve learned another language in my spare time to be ready to move my family to a country and city that I was told in many dreams to move to in order to avoid what’s coming on the earth. That sums up how I don’t “fit in” I constantly wonder if I’m the only one seeing the world this way and feeling like I’m an alien.
Wow! I feel like I am reading my own story reading yours… and I could not agree more in that the older I get the stronger this feeling is.
I am now 44 years old and the last 2 years have been hell, I can not describe it any other way. I am hardly able to sleep anymore and this unexplainable feeling of “not belonging” consumes my entire life. I have 4 children whom I feel I am failing on a daily basis as I no longer have the energy to get involved in anything meaningful, and just go through life with no aim, ambition, or long term plan. I am just drained. Every sad news, terrible story, human injustice, etc. hits me to the core and moves me to a waterfall of tears every time. I feel like no one gets me and am not interested anymore in maintaining or making new friendships as I don’t have the patience to deal with drama, or “untrue” people. I feel alone, lonely, overwhelmed, sad, invisible, depressed, and most of all, like I do not belong in this world…
I’ve been feeling this way as well.
Especially today I was the mall and everyone seemed “fake”.
I actually said to myself “I don’t belong here”
I have a few close friends but the friendships aren’t as deep as they used to be and I don’t even bother with trying to have a boyfriend since they probably wouldn’t even understand.
I used to self medicate to avoid it.
Lately my counselor thinks I need to take medication but my gut instinct says no.
I’m glad I’m not the only one out there that feels like this.
This is exactly how I feel, in every way. Since as far back as I can remember, from my earliest childhood days I have felt this way.
The feeling that I don’t belong here amongst these strange, unreasonable, and cruel humans has always been so strong; that I am surprised that I made it this far without seeking”a way out”.
I literally feel that I do not belong to the human race: They are so selfish and uncaring, and do not listen to reason; I cannot even communicate with them without dumbing myself so far down, that when I finally get out of a social situation, I feel completely exhausted.
I have always been completely different from everyone else. From the way I think, what I am into, how I do things, EVERY single thing.
If everyone was walking east, I would always be heading west.
And I have always been made fun of for my differences, and it hurts so bad I have no choice but to pretend to be like everyone else.
There is literally no one that I can talk to about this. No one.
No friend, no family member, not my fiancé. I tried, but no one understands. They just get angry at me, scared of me, or just give me a strange look like I’m crazy.
In all honesty, I am tired of this world.
Hi everyone,
This was such a blessing to remember that I am not alone in this feeling of being “different.” I have always thought of myself as a foreigner and stranger in this world, like the proverbial square peg trying to fit into a round hole. It has made me especially sad today, but this feeling has become fundamental for me since childhood. However, even as familiar as the feeling has become over the years, it never gets easier. In fact, it only gets harder the older I get. It really does hurt sometimes to be so sensitive. I truly believe deep down that this is a blessing rather than a curse to be ultra-different, even though most times it does not feel that way. Hang in there everyone, there is safety in numbers, even though our number is quite smaller than the masses.
Hi guys. Reading everyone’s story makes me feel so much better. I am an empath and I work with the public which I’m sure is a bad idea. I’ve struggled with fitting in my whole life. I’ve always felt like an outsider and I have a strange feeling that I don’t belong here. Kind of like I was sent to the wrong planet. My body is very sensitive to the foods I eat. So much that I have been considering becoming a raw vegan. I have visions of the future and they usually come to pass. I don’t understand why I’m here and I don’t like feeling alone. It feels like I’m just here temporarily waiting to die so I can go to my next destination.
I feel similar to you guys. Like I fell off the boat and ended up here, while somewhere there, are the rest of my people. I watch coworkers, random people all the time and it looks like programmed robots, and I feel out of place, out of time, out of world. Everywhere I walk or drive, I swear I see the same people, the same faces, like I’ve done and seen this all before. I go someplace I’ve never been, or never eaten at, and I immediately feel like I’ve already done this. Movies I watch, I can see what’s coming. The only real satisfaction I get is when I am asleep, and I can go anywhere and do anything. While dreaming I feel like that’s the world I’m supposed to he in and when awake I am suffering. It’s painful mentally to pretend to care about pursuing the goals that are expected of me. Being awake is like being a slave to the system on a world I don’t belong in.
I read every single comment. It’s exactly the same for me. I always had a social life but I was truly detached. It was like I was pretending all my life. Pretending to live, pretending to have friends, pretending to be in a relationship. Pretending to work. I am married with three kids I adore, but even now that I am 36, I can’t shake this feeling off. It’s like I dont belong here, like I’m from somewhere far away but I can’t remember where. I love music, travelling and art. Videogames, books and movies that show other worlds and I am imagining that I belong there. I love the stars, planets and Universe. I love seeing people healthy and happy, I adore children, they are the epitome of greatness and innocence and the fact that we live in a world where horrible things happen to them horrifies me and breaks my heart. I am highly perceptive to other people’s intentions and vibes. Like, really perceptive. I hate this whole negativity this world throws at me and others. I have really intense dreams that I travel to other worlds but I can never put my finger to. Never completely remember. I love helping others, making them smile, but I never want people become very close to me. Only a few special. I have never told anyone how I feel. Only my sister knows. My husband is a good man but thinks me as a weirdo. Thinks that I dislike people and I just have issues with the world and everyone around me because I can’t stand rudeness and negativity. He doesn’t know how I feel. He won’t understand. Homeopathy helped me deal with my depression in the past and still helps me discover my self and try to get along in this world I sometimes think I have been dumped to survive. What else can I do? Who will believe me when I say that every single time, and I mean EVERY SINGLE TIME I think of a favorite movie in tv, I d like to watch, I see it right in front of me? That I think things and they happen? That I understand right away what kind of people I have right in front of me, and that I have dreamed of thing that happened years afterwards?
i felt the same.. i think, not just a special person feel like this.. every person on this earth felt like this.. have you ever had an image of a beautiful scenery inside your head?.. whenever you felt like this world is not where you belong, that image flashing inside your head?.. i think, it’s because it’s from your previous life’s memory and it’s not your imagination..
Wow. Look at how all of you that commented seem to want to fit in with each other based on categories and identification. I think you missed the point of the article and so, this might not apply to you.
I can relate to all these comments, when I was in my 20’s and hung out with a few girls, I always felt left out like I had nothing to say or didn’t fit in the group. I stayed home a lot because of this reason, in elementary school I remember always sitting by myself and never wanting to make friends everyone thought that I was shy, but I knew there was something wrong. Even with my own family I feel that way like an outsider, I do not talk to my family only my mom, we really do not have anything in common. Now as a adult I hate being around people, at work I avoid going to lunch with co-workers, I only go to Christmas parties, because they make it mandatory and when I go I just sit there and observe, I make excuses to leave early. I always felt I was weird and did not belong, I would call myself a misfit.
I can identify with all of these. I have a strong sense of empathy and suffer from social anxiety. I have always felt as if I don’t belong and that I was born in the wrong time period/era. I feel I was born too early. I’m now 35 and these feelings have just intensified as time goes on. I feel drawn to certain places, especially ones with water. I can look at a photo and know where it is without ever having to of been there. I feel like I’m observing, not fitting in. I am an Introvert, I like my own time and hate going out. Even though I feel like I don’t fit in anywhere, not even with my own family, I’m actually fine with it. I’m just very curious as to why I feel all of this.
It wouldn’t be so bad if it felt good, but it doesn’t. It feels horrible. Over the course of my life (I’m 46 now) it has gotten worse and worse and I struggle to get through a day and make sense out of anyone. I don’t think it’s true that it means you are special and highly evolved. It sure isn’t because I’m so exceptionally brilliant. I think I was a mistake.
Hi I’m 40 years of age and I’m really feeling like I’m in a wrong place or planet.feel like I have to go somewhere but not sure where.how do I deal with this emotions.and how can I find out axatly this feeling is coming from cause after this feeling that I have to be somewhere.here comes a big fear .that makes me feel like I did wrong thing.pls help cos this doesn’t feel gud for me
Going through this too. The suffering seems endless. Nobody understands. Feeling so lost. Trying to be present, trying to allow and be ok with what is. Will it ever end?
It’s really not a good thing. I feel it every time and feels like while everyone is normal except me. feels like I am in a struggle which other people easily get over with. feels like I am weakest one among many other.
1st, 2nd, and 4th characteristics seem valid for me not sure about 3rd. I can feel what others feel. While I chase normal targets like others because I have no other works, meanwhile I also feel like these targets are meaningless for me and I don’t want to do this but then I don’t know what else to do. I don’t feel attached to anything, everyone and everything seems same to me, I would help anyone, I would love anyone but that also complicated knowing all people in this world are not so good. I feel like I should leave everything in this world.
It’s really complicated. Sometimes I am really frustrated, not knowing what to do. Sometimes it’s resemblance with Depression also makes me worried but this feeling is always present for many years. There are very few people who understand me, or to whom I can share.
Reading your message I feel like I wrote it myself. I also feel very detached and same time very sensible to the present world. I come from a family that always puts a family member above anyone else. No matter how bad and delusive the person is they always have a spot in our table, always have a bed to sleep in our house. While I feel the same way towards anyone else. The stranger in need is as important to me as my own sister. And no one can understand me. My own mother is always very angry with me after I helped a stranger (homeless) on the street instead of helping my uncle who is alcoholic and wil spend money to get drunk. No one understands me and my care for everyone else equally. I know I can’t help all people in need. And this what is breaking me most. I come from a privileged family but I have no power to help those in need most. It’s killing me inside to see how my family is spending money, on clothes , electronics, cars and other materials things while there are people who can’t feed their children from day to day. I feel so broken because of that and I feel weak. To weak to handle the reality of the world and sociaty we live in. I’m sorry I had to let it out of my system. I wish you find what you are looking for in your life.
Exactly. In my case it affects both physical and mental side. From physical side I’m in any aspect different from other humans. I’m not anywhere near the average human height, weight and other aspects of physical appearance. Speaking about mental side, that’s where I really stand out from other people. I don’t share any of the popular interests with the people my age. My goals are different, I always get to run on the hard, long tracks, while other’s lives go normally. Nothing was easy for me in a life. When I get sick I’m not sick like other people, it either goes away so fast or stays for a long time usually developing a bigger illness. All these little things contribute to my “I don’t belong here” feeling.
I feel the same way, every function, outing or even at work, I feel like I am on the outside looking in. I never ell anyone, they will say it’s all in my head no one understands. I always felt like a misfit looking at every thing from the big picture. Even with my family I never have any thing to talk about again I feel like I don’t belong.
I’ve felt like I hadn’t belonged on this world since I was a kid. I’m charismatic and never had a problem making friends and acquaintances, I’ve just never felt like I belong anywhere.
I’m 35 now, 3 children and as numb as I’ve become to the empathic side of my ENTJ personality, I sometimes still occssionally feel a wave of emotion fall over me, like there’s something just wrong with the world or something just happened in the world – like obi wan Kenobi felt when alderan was destroyed – and I haven’t a clue as to what it may be and all I do is just cry for a moment.
Does anyone else ever feel this way?
I read every single comment. It’s exactly the same for me. I always had a social life but I was truly detached. It was like I was pretending all my life. Pretending to live, pretending to have friends, pretending to be in a relationship. Pretending to work. I am married with three kids I adore, but even now that I am 36, I can’t shake this feeling off. It’s like I dont belong here, like I’m from somewhere far away but I can’t remember where. I love music, travelling and art. Videogames, books and movies that show other worlds and I am imagining that I belong there. I love the stars, planets and Universe. I love seeing people healthy and happy, I adore children, they are the epitome of greatness and innocence and the fact that we live in a world where horrible things happen to them horrifies me and breaks my heart. I am highly perceptive to other people’s intentions and vibes. Like, really perceptive. I hate this whole negativity this world throws at me and others. I have really intense dreams that I travel to other worlds but I can never put my finger to. Never completely remember. I love helping others, making them smile, but I never want people become very close to me. Only a few special. I have never told anyone how I feel. Only my sister knows. My husband is a good man but thinks me as a weirdo. Thinks that I dislike people and I just have issues with the world and everyone around me because I can’t stand rudeness and negativity. He doesn’t know how I feel. He won’t understand. Homeopathy helped me deal with my depression in the past and still helps me discover my self and try to get along in this world I sometimes think I have been dumped to survive. What else can I do? Who will believe me when I say that every single time, and I mean EVERY SINGLE TIME I think of a favorite movie in tv, I d like to watch, I see it right in front of me? That I think things and they happen? That I understand right away what kind of people I have right in front of me, and that I have dreamed of thing that happened years afterwards?
This is exactly me, with a few differences. I’m 25, I’ve told my boyfriend and he doesn’t understand but he loves me, so it’s okay,he’s a good man. I would love to talk. Maybe that all we need it to know we’re not alone and figure out how to live through this life.
I am sitting here in tears. I relate to almost everything everyone has said. I too have know since I was little. PTSD, anxiety, depression, disconnection, isolation, physical ailments, high connection to animals….People who are more in tune spontaneously have commented that they know I don’t belong here. The phrases used in the article – deep thinker (in my head), old soul, empath – have been applied to me either in a positive or negative sense. I often do not recognize people I have interacted with because I am so intensely involved in their inner world that I literally don’t see their “shell.” I don’t know if any of you have experienced this as well.
I am so lonely. It seems that it only gets worse year by year. I have no one who totally “gets” me. My recently ended relationship was obviously mentally and emotionally abusive, but had aspects of deeper connection as well, so I kept at it way past the point most people would have, just to have that connection. Abuse of this kind is normal in my experience. I can’t conceive of ever having in intimate relationship without it. I don’t think there is anyone out there for me. At least the internet allows some semblance of there being someone else somewhere out there like me. Otherwise, I feel like I am drifting through space, in a meaningless void. A support group would be most helpful.
Thank you for this. I needed it.
Hello friends, definitely can relate to all what you are saying, the feeling of disconnectedness and being different, I have come to the conclusion that I am finished with life and there is no sense being here anymore, I am 54 the whole process of life doesn’t make sense to me, we are basically a program go through all these stresses in life only to find out we were in a play and pretending all the time, and now I got to bung it on in front of the few friends I have. I think the universe got it wrong why awaken ? For an experience, big deal how good is that if your not comfortable with your surroundings
I feel your pain. This life has nothing for me. I want it to end. I feel useless and non existent no matter how hard I try to fit in. I am nothing and mean nothing. I’m just using someone else’s oxy
Reading all of your comments make me feel less alone. Since I was younger I always felt like I didn’t belong anywhere, I never fit in anywhere and it was always hard for me to make friends given my introverted personality. I have been feeling more and more lost lately but I never day anything about it to anyone as they tell you that it’s all in your head and to just get over it. Today I’m just so sad and I don’t know why. This world has just always been a cruel place and sometimes I feel like I just don’t wanna be here anymore.
I am not happy but I go through the motions and pretend to be becausr that’s what I’m supposed to do. I am an empath and an old soul and I would just like to meet people like me who understand what I go through on a daily basis.
Reading all these comments make me feel less alone. It’s so difficult to feel like that and nobody (that I know) understand this. I really wish I could talk to someone about it because I feel very lonely in this place. I wonder if this pain of not belonging will disappear some day. We could have a Facebook group or line/WhatsApp/kakao group or something like that. Just to share.
I too feel like I don’t belong in this world. Its like I’m in a constant dream…one where I wont wake from. I try to connect to others and its so hard. They either think I’m weird, annoying, or just don’t see things like I do. I don’t care about trivial things…I care about the trees, being happy, the stars, poetry. I love contemplating life and deep conversations. I get bored of everyday stuff. like who really cares about sales, and profits, and the new cool show every ones raving about. I hate small talk, and feel so exhausted with trying to put myself out there into the world so I can get by. I know I sound depressing…but I don’t see it as that.. I see it as being tired. bored.. and lonely. My whole life I have been told that I too quiet.. I have been denied jobs cuz I’m not outgoing enough.. relationships have fallen apart cuz of how different I am. They just cant relate even thought I do my best to relate and understand them. people just cant seem to see my point of view. I’m tired of pretending to be interested in things I don’t care for.. I’m tired of feeling like the black sheep. I don’t know where I belong.. I am a mom. I am striving to go to school for a Nurse.. but to be part of a society who cannot even see that half the issues is being blind to themselves. People have to go within to grow. To change. But everyone’s just blindly following the crowds. I dunno what I’m saying lol.. I’m just tired. and Wish I knew Why I was born so different. What is my purpose? Maybe I’m here to teach the world a different perspective.. but its so lonely. I just crave one deep connection with someone.. and it seems impossible to do. and I hate getting hurt trying.
I am all four. I think deeply about everything. All the what-ifs or the other possibilities. I feel constantly lost in my own mind wondering about this and that. I feel lonely like have no one most days, but a lot of it is I would rather run away then talk to the people, I am near. It seems like when I talk they don’t understand and then they try to give advice when all I needed was an open ear. I detach my self from everyone even my kids and I don’t understand why or how to fix it. When I was 4, my aunt passed and she was my best friend. Since her death, life hasn’t looked the same. I know some of my issue is depression but I feel like I am not like anyone I know. I am race of my own, a culture of my own. I don’t fit in to any stereotypes. The worst part of it all is I am sweet and giving and just want to feel loved at the end of the day. I feel energy, even just in someone’s voice. I take their anxiety and stress as if its my own and sometimes it cripples me. I work where I talk to new people everyday and no one is ever the happiest to talk to me. There is nothing like feeling unwanted at work, alone in a house full of people at home, and stranger to the world everywhere you go. I feel like the safest place in my world is my car or my bed. Whichever I can be alone in.
I won’t bore you with details, because I’m sure you’re all more interested in your own lives.
But being different (and unattractive) has made me completely isolate myself from the rest
of the world since I was in my late teens, And I’m 41 now…
No relationships, no intimacy, no work experience, no hobbies no purpose, no enjoyment.
That’s life.
I know I don’t belong here , and ready to free my soul release my spirit , I wanna see what’s on the other side , but unfortunately have to wait a little more , can’t do this to my dad , have to wait for him to go first
What’s the answer to feeling this way, I relate most to 1,2,3. I’ve attempted suicide many times, I feel empty, I have family I will miss, I know I will hurt them, I have many times over. They don’t understand how isolated I feel. How do I make it stop?
Maybe you live in the wrong place and can’t identify with people from there.I have the same feeling now and feel like there are only two solutions,to try to fit in,to change your negative mindset or to change the situation,to find a place and people with whom you will feel relaxed and open.You should be bold enough to make the decisions that you think will make you feel happier no matter what everyone else will think.
Thank you for this
I’ve felt like this ever since I was a child. As a matter of fact I had my first out of body experience when I was a child. During a fever I left my body and four angels with beautiful wings came close to me. I can’t remember every detail of my experience anymore but I guess that it wasn’t my time to go. I have had many oobe experiences and I feel very close connection to the spiritual world. It is very hard for me to find true friends since I feel myself so different from other people.
Me too, I think and feel that I am more connected to the spiritual realm than in this physical world. I feel like I don’t belong in this earthly life. Like my happiness can’t be found in this world. I don’t really fit in to some group or bunch of worldly people. All they think about and do are earthly, material, shallow and impure things. I guess I’m a Deep thinker, Old soul, Empath and with Spiritual awakening as I also have heavenly & spiritual dreams sometimes.I also agree as you grow older this outcast/lonely situation is becoming more and more difficult to bear – psychological and emotional struggles are real. I need a change of life or a different world, somewhere I truly belong, with the people that can appreciate and accept me.
Thank you for this article. Somehow I felt mentally, emotionally and spiritually relieved.
I truly don’t belong anywhere nor I want to. I’m empty. Have no soul. Worth. Meaning. I have no category. Humans take advantage of my being. They abuse me. Is their weak nature. I am ashamed of being human.
I truly don’t belong anywhere nor I want to. I’m empty. Have no soul. Worth. Meaning. I have no category. Humans take advantage of my being. They abuse me. Is their weak nature. I am ashamed of being human. Just want to cease existence.
I’m 41. I’ve lost count of all the times people (both friends and strangers) have come up to me and said “You know you’re not normal, right?”. And they usually don’t mean it as an insult. They just feel the need to say it for some reason!
I would never openly comment on someone’s behaviour or appearance unless it was seriously interfering in some way,say,
if someone showed up to work and never took showers, or they wore a damn clown outfit when buying groceries.
Actually, I wouldn’t comment on the clown outfit. It’s not for me to ruin someone else’s day by making insensitive comments.
Anyway, it took me quite a few years to realize that my thought patterns were different to a lot of other people.
I was convinced that they understood “the obvious” things the way I saw them, and that they were simply being mean to me for other reasons. But it wasn’t just my complete lack of interest in fashion or trends that made them pick on me, or my
less than attractive appearance. No, they simply THOUGHT differently; the way you were SUPPOSED to think, if you wanted to fit in.
Well, conformity is the enemy, as far as I’m concerned. If everyone thinks the same way, no one takes risks. And without taking risks, there can be no progress. And without progress, society stagnates and eventually dies.
Unfortunately, in addition to thinking differently, I also suffer from Avoidant Personality Disorder, which basically means that I’m ashamed of who I am in every conceivable way, and it makes me unable to deal with personal criticism and rejection.
It’s a bit more serious than perhaps that sounds, because, over the years, it’s made me completely isolate myself from
society and live like a hermit. I do wash myself and try to stay occupied with things that interest me, but it’s too painful
for me to be around other people. I feel ugly and can’t handle the stares and the comments they give me, so I choose to
hide away instead. And this has been going on for over 20 years now.
I’ve had no relationships, very few jobs, no close friends and apparently no purpose in life.
And today, I’m on disability, so there’s even less reason to leave the house.
But even without this bothersome mental disorder, I don’t think my life would’ve turned out much differently.
I remember how things were before I lost my self-confidence, and they were just as bad as they are now.
The only difference is that I used to think that people didn’t like me because I was eccentric, whereas now I know
that they don’t like me because I’m eccentric and ugly.
You don’t have to be perfect to be accepted by your peers and find happiness. But if you’re not at least normal, it’s over for you. Don’t even try. You’ll never be one of the crowd. And perhaps that’s not necessarily a bad thing, either…