If you are an introvert who is feeling isolated, stay with me. I’ve got a story for you that you might have experienced yourself at some point as well.

I am sure that extroverts will have difficulties understanding the essence of my narrative, but I am just simply looking to share my deep feelings with other people who are feeling isolated and are hiding their introversion.

I am used to hiding my feelings from others because most people do not understand my introvert nature. When I tried to open and share my feelings during the teenage years, most of the time, I received confused looks and pretend smiles. The same result persisted into early adulthood as well.

For example, what is wrong with telling people that I don’t want to stay after the working day to go to an office party because I prefer to do other things? Nothing.

What is wrong with wishing to have an honest conversation with just one person who understands me rather than a dozen persons, some of whom do not even pretend to care? Right, nothing!

My ‘Sweet’ Office Life

Let me tell how I started my professional career. I sent out a bunch of resumes and got several responses. When I finally got a job as an office worker, my main responsibility was to call people on the list and offer them to invest in Facebook applications developed by our company.

Sounds easy, right? Not exactly. You should be that crazy salesperson who can sell ice to Eskimos. I am not one of them, so my lead generation efforts were a little bit less successful compared to my colleagues.

In addition to this, I started to notice the change in my colleagues’ attitude towards me. Apparently, some of my colleagues thought my working style was strange and even “inappropriate.” My results can be explained by one thing: I had trouble adjusting to the new workplace.

I am an introvert, for God’s sake, I hate change! Naturally, only a few people understood me and most of my colleagues did not appreciate that I avoided being gentle and having a small talk with them at every opportunity.

What is the point of that small talk?

What can I possibly discuss with them that would get me interested? Talking about conversations with clients and other job-related stuff got old really quick for me.

As a result, I felt like a stranger in a strange land because of feeling isolated and different than others, so my actions must have seemed unnatural for my colleagues. I wish I had just one more introvert in the office, I really did.

Can you imagine how hard it is to work with people who think that you are ‘strange’ instead of trying to make a simple attempt to figure out why you act this way? Smiling to them every day and trying to focus on the tasks to avoid thinking about how left out I feel in the office is what I really did at that job.

Sometimes, my colleagues would laugh about something during the break without even telling me what was that made them laugh. I was an outsider, so they got used without having participating me in conversations and discussions.

Well, I was completely okay with that and I was even glad I didn’t have to do that. It just showed me once again that I was feeling isolated and disconnected from the surrounding world because I was an introvert.

Defining Moment

At that point, I realized how difficult it was for me to maintain an office job simply because I was feeling isolated from my colleagues and could not connect with them.

Clearly, they did not want to connect with me as well, so I needed to find another job that would keep me happy. I needed the right people to work with me because it would really make me super productive. That meant only one thing: another change

Even though I intuitively knew that office work would result in me going crazy and feeling isolated from others, I tried a few times more. The result, however, was almost the same every time.

The best option to go was entrepreneurship, but I did not have sufficient funds to start my own company (it would be cool, though. I have lots of ideas). So I had to find that golden mean. And I did.

What Now?

I currently work as a freelance writer. I found that it plays to one of my strengths, plus it helps to avoid an overload of interactions every day (no more small talks!). I can write plus I get to communicate much less (and electronically, which is more comfortable for me).

Also, there is no forced interaction with colleagues and most of the times, the interaction is initiated by me because I needed to find clients. And, most importantly, I got to spend more time interacting with people who understand and support me. That’s priceless!

I am comfortable expressing my feelings to people I am close with because I believe they are the only ones who trust me. I am not used to interacting with lots of people because I don’t feel comfortable.

Of course, I realize that keeping things to myself has become a habit but that’s just the way I like it. Hiding my feelings every day and smiling in the office in order to fit in is not for me. I think about how the listener would feel about my words, but no one in that office did the same. Can you imagine what that did to my extreme sensitivity?

The Bottom Line

Whether it is an inability or a choice I made, it was much better to express myself with a small group of people who understand what I mean.

I doubt that a single person on my first job understood how I felt because most of them did not really think about the feelings of others. Even though I sometimes think of myself as the only person who feels this way, it is my way nonetheless.

Are you an introvert who is feeling isolated from others? We would love to hear your story. Please share it in the comment section below!

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This Post Has 10 Comments

  1. MARIA

    wow! also an introvert as well and this described my personality. also having the same challenges in my office, trying and forcing myself to relate with people even tho I love to always be alone.

    1. Diana

      Thanks, for your comment Maria. Good to know that somebody reads your stories 🙂 True-true. Hope you are allowed to listen to music while working. That helps to mute all these mindless chatter and stupid jokes.

  2. Andreana

    Same here, I have an office job and like 10 colleagues around me all day long with pretty much every single one of them being an extrovert. They talk nonstop about themselves and all the things I cannot relate to. After a few months I unconciously started talking to them less and less and now I’m used to only greeting and replying but not striking conversations myself. After realizing that it was even harder on me because I felt I reached the point where I completely gave up being part of the group. But having to be part of the team and having a boss that strongly encourages this is hard on me. I have been waiting to find a better job for like 6 months now but no luck so far.

  3. Anamada

    I can t believe that exists a person ” identically “me. I recognize me in every word you say. Anyway i only read what you say about introverts but i m sure that the other articles are very close to me. Well i was in that situation all the time. I mean in trying to keep a job. I had many experiences not so easy for me. And the most important reason was of course the inability to have o good interaction with my colleagues and of course the employer. The irony is that all my jobs supposed interaction with other people . I accepted to be seller of different products and work in retail though i m skilled in assistent pharmacy.maybe the activity suppose the same thing. I am proud that i resisted to every job that i chose and even for that i knew when to stop. That s my sad story and even sad is that i realize i can continue like this to spend my emotional energy on that type of jobs.because the city i live in is centered on retail. I know i can change the city i live in but i m so afraid of change and of course i know me so well that i know i will not make a big deal😕 Is too much. Now i am in unemployment and try to think what cand i do further on. Of course i want my job be a reason of fulfilment for me and to feel at last accepted. I think our type of person finds very hard someone to recover and i m glad that i met you in this way. Hope you read my story. Sorry if my way to express was wrong. Is a long time since i haven t practised my English. 😌

    1. Diana Clark

      I did Anamada! Thanks so much for sharing your personal story.

      I believe everything will be just fine! There is still a plenty of careers possibilities for me and you.

      P.S. Your English is Great so don’t be so down on yourself.

  4. Faisal

    I am happy with your writing Diana. very representative of me.

    I currently work in a branding agency as a creative (graphic design). open work space.

    I feel isolated from first entering work. although I have tried many times to force my self to ice breaking start chat with my colleagues in pantry but in fact I look strange and they do not appreciate even insinuate.

    since then I feel that I am not fit with the corporate culture and it also makes me afraid that if I move the company the same thing will happen to me. I am happy with my job. but I am not comfortable with the culture.

    this is my eighth month in the company. work and eat with my colleagues and every day just listen to them tell stories without ever I commented anything. because what I say will definitely sound strange and it will absorb my energy.

    I hope they can to understand me a bit. but the reality is difficult for normal people as they can understand.

    Kind regards,

  5. Josh

    I am totally alone It’s not that I feel alone . No I am alone and nobody is trying to hangout with me or talk to me in person at all . I’m trying not to be focused on my life but my dad died in October of 2016 he was one person I could talk to . I don’t know what it is about me that turns people off. I would have liked to find a wife and had a family . But I guess I am too much of a loser or something . I’m sorry I don’t want to be negative but . It’s been this way for more than half of my life . Outcast, reject , loser That doesn’t care to live anymore . I really feel like stupid because I don’t see any guys on here that relate . I just want to find a girl and some friends.

  6. Maryk

    I came across your article and all the comments underneath and they have really helped me. Today I felt so isolated at my work. There is all this chatter in the morning in the office near me where people ‘sign in’ that goes on and on. I miss meeting anyone when signing in as I am always in on time – before anyone else. Then I just want to check what work needs doing and get on with what I should be doing. They annoy me so much. I feel jealous of them and resentful at the same time. I put on headphones and listen to music while I work to drown them out. They probably think I am being aloof or trying to impress the boss but I dread any kind of small talk/interaction and afraid that if I open my mouth I will say the wrongn thing and make things worse. Also I recently fell out with a colleague and am convinced she is bad-mouthing me to everyone so the whole situation is even worse as I am not only feeling isolated but also paranoid. Thank you all for helping me know I am not alone and not strange. You have helped me more than you know. x

  7. Louise

    Hi! My feelings of “isolation” at the moment led me to your post 🙂 I am also a freelance writer, like you! In my case, right now I am surrounded by extrovert neighbors. I do greet them and they greet me, make small talk when I absolutely can’t avoid it… Aside from me, there are a couple other girls who are home all the time (though they don’t work). There was a time when they would invite me when they have plans to go out, though I think my constant aloofness and refusal to go has led them to make plans themselves… I am actually okay with being alone, though there’s also the feeling of being left out? Ah well. I hope I am making sense!

  8. Ramon Houser Jr

    As an introvert for many years i can definitely relate to this dramatically as almost everything word from word connects to my everyday life. What really touched me was the part where i realize that there are certain people who are willing to except and understand people with introvert personalities as it is hard for us to communicate with individuals who we barely know.Being said, is as to why i like to take my time getting to know people if willing. There after communication and trust is never really an issue. I believe that my background history as far as family friends lovers etc plays a huge toll in this as well.Being able to step outside of my box and take the next steps in to building trust to be able to communicate effective as id like too almost would seem impossible from time to time. However Ive realized meeting the right people who can understand theirs more to the cover takes a huge toll as well as i can become an open book instantaneously.

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