When you first meet them, a narcissist will be charming and impress you and will make you feel that you have just met the most amazing, interesting, confident, and powerful person ever and you will feel flattered to have their attention.

Don’t be fooled.

You have their attention because, like me, you are just the type of personality they need to feed their giant ego. If you aren’t lucky to be singled out, you are in danger of becoming trapped in a toxic damaging relationship.

The Narcissist and Their Ego

  • The narcissist needs to be looked up to, worshipped, and obeyed.
  • They will seek out a partner they can control and manipulate.
  • Don’t ever forget that the only person a narcissist truly cares about is themselves.

Getting to Know Them Better

You naturally want to please your new love interest and go along with the choices they make and fit in with their plans and change things about yourself to suit them to make them happy. Before you fully realize what is happening to you, your friends will be put aside to make more time for your new partner.

You will even change the type of clothes you wear to please them. Finally, you will put their feelings and wishes above your own wants and needs because they are so important to you.

The Narcissist and Their Control Over You

  • The narcissist needs to gain control over you to satisfy their own selfish needs.
  • They will separate you from your friends and relations.
  • To gain complete control over you is their ultimate goal.

Fully Committed to the Relationship

By the time you are completely committed to the relationship with a narcissist and are living together/married, or when you have children together, the narcissist will have gained complete control over every part of your existence.

No decision will be yours. You will have to account for every minute of your time you are not together. Every penny you spend will have to be accounted for and you will be kept short of money. Your friends will have gone because you were manipulated by your partner not to see them.

You will have no confidence and have very low self-esteem. You will believe anything that is wrong with your relationship is your fault. You will be constantly apologizing for things your partner says you have done wrong and trying to stop them from shouting at you and calling you names.

You will be treated like a slave in the house and will have to be completely subservient to your partner’s wishes.

The Narcissist and Mental Abuse

  • The narcissist will be abusive to you and you will feel powerless to complain.
  • You will try to please them and NOTHING will ever be good enough.
  • Because you are so ashamed, you keep it secret from everyone and you are lost.

It Will Only Get Worse

The relationship with a narcissist will only get worse and they will never change. Physically abusing you will come next if it hasn’t already, and your life will be even worse than you can ever imagine because you will become too frightened to even try to leave.

You will believe the threats and will feel completely powerless and will be so ashamed that you feel you can’t tell anyone what is happening to you.

But you must tell.

I promise you it is the best thing for you to do.

If you tell just one person, it is a start to getting your life back. You can do it. I told one person by text, and although things have been very difficult, I now have the hope of a better life.

You have done nothing wrong. You are the victim of a narcissist who sought you out because they saw in you a kind soul who could be manipulated, and you deserve a better life.

Please tell. Break free from a life of abuse. You deserve a better life. You are worth it.

By Caroline


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the power of misfits

This Post Has One Comment

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    Adrienne

    Wow! You perfectly described my life with my ex. It was an ever increasing hell for years, and I felt that I could never tell a soul.

    If only there had been access to websites like this one, my awareness of narcissistic personality would have helped my daughters and me to escape sooner from our lives of torture under the narcissist ex’s rule.

    We are free from him now, but the many years of abuse have meant that the road to freedom has been a very difficult one. We have come a very long way, though, in part thanks to the access to information available now.

    I will forever regret that I allowed myself to change to become his victim, and did not protect my children from his evil. The abuse became the central thread of our lives.

    After many years, it took his being suddenly exposed as a child molester for me to finally extract myself from this toxic existence. My younger daughter took the initiative by disclosing the long ago sexual abuse, of which I had known nothing. She ran away, and spent the next year in foster care. The ex was sentenced to 5 years in prison, should have been much more.

    My older daughter and I were left to deal with the aftermath of the explosion. After a year in foster care, much therapy, and a series of court orders, I got my younger daughter back. The ex has no contact orders for my younger daughter and me for life, and has not tried to contact the other daughter.

    The scars will never go away, but the three of us have emerged stronger, happier, and certainly wiser.

    Thank you for this article. I hope that it saves some from allowing a narcissist to ruin their lives.

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