Can you forgive a cheating partner? Well, yes, of course, you can. But should you forgive them? There are a few reasons why people choose to give their partners a second chance.
Infidelity can be devastating, and it’s difficult to forgive a cheating partner. However, is it logical to withhold forgiveness? After all, forgiveness is not as much for the cheater, but more so for you! Forgiveness can be liberating.
Reasons to forgive a cheating partner
Don’t get me wrong. I am not trying to downplay the hurt of infidelity. There are many negative results that rise from hurtful affairs. Trust is broken, and resentment can cause bitterness; those are just a few results.
Sometimes, people make the decision to end the relationship altogether after one incident of infidelity. But, on the other hand, many give the relationship another try. Why? Well, here are a few common reasons.
1. Confession
Most of the time, when a partner cheats, they will not confess their indiscretion. Most commonly, you learn about the affair by talking to someone else or by chance. But if the cheating partner confesses to the infidelity, there seems to be a better chance of change.
It’s most common to forgive a cheating partner when they own up to their mistakes and wish to be a better person. You can usually tell when the confession and desire to change are genuine as well.
2. A lapse of reason
Sometimes cheating is just something that happens on the spur of the moment due to poor judgment. Yeah, I am sure I might catch hell for this one. But listen, we are human, right? And with that humanity, we make mistakes, and sometimes they are huge mistakes.
I’ve learned this in life: You have cheaters, and you have those who cheated. You have liars and you have those who’ve told lies. Do you see the difference? Anyway, it’s common for people to forgive a cheating partner when it feels like a momentary lapse of reason.
3. You’re taking a break
If you’ve decided to take a “break” from each other, then the dynamics in the relationship will be a bit different. You won’t be spending time together, so it may be easier to stray.
While it’s not really an excuse, some people see “breaks” much differently than their partners. It is much more common to forgive a cheating partner when you’re not really in an active relationship or experiencing indecision.
4. You have a sound foundation
Now, it might not seem like it, but you can have a firm foundation and still make mistakes. Some of the strongest relationships have endured infidelity. I know a couple who overcome cheating and spent 50 years together. And no, they didn’t have a dysfunctional relationship. Something negative transpired, but they learned to heal from the incident.
If a relationship is strong, it can be best to forgive a cheating partner. There is just so much invested and the love is evident.
5. Influenced by substances
Being under the influence of alcohol or drugs changes how we think. It can also make it much easier to cross relationship boundaries set up by both parties. Sometimes people accidentally cheat when drunk. However, this is not excusable.
It’s just as much a problem with substances as an issue with unfaithfulness. So, it’s common to forgive a partner for cheating when they’ve had too much to drink. But it’s an issue that should be approached with therapy.
6. Dysfunctional past
Sometimes it’s easier to forgive infidelity if the other partner accepts some responsibility for mistreatment.
Again, I’m not making excuses for cheating, but I am mentioning that there are reasons within the relationship that partners feel neglected and alone. They may turn to others outside the relationship for comfort. Many people recognize their own issues and decide to forgive their partners.
7. Financial dependency
While this is never a good reason to stay in an unhealthy relationship, it happens. Some people stay with cheating partners because they feel they cannot make it alone.
Being dependent on your partner makes it difficult to cut ties with them, especially if you’ve never worked before. It may be terrifying to even consider leaving a cheating partner, and even more difficult when children are involved.
8. Keeping family together
Speaking of the children, some people forgive partners just to keep the family together. It’s that simple. Divorce is hard on children, and adults know this. So, when one partner cheats, it may make more sense for them to stay together.
It’s a common decision that may change as the children grow older or move out. Couples often tolerate much more when they have children. But, unfortunately, staying together for the children is sometimes much worse. So, basically, this depends on the level of dysfunction in the relationship.
Forgiving a cheating partner
Is it wise to forgive a cheating partner? Well, that depends. As I stated above, there are common reasons why people do this. However, these reasons aren’t always healthy. Each relationship has different factors and dynamics, and it’s up to you whether you choose to stay with your partner.
I suggest that you carefully consider whatever decision you make. While forgiveness is good, you must still retain healthy boundaries. You must understand when it’s time to try again and time to close chapters. Both are important.
Staying in an unhealthy relationship is obviously not the soundest choice. But I could never make that decision for you. I wish you all the best and hope that whatever you choose to do; you are happy. Take care.
Featured image by wayhomestudio on Freepik
