Nothing seems to work when dealing with toxic people, except maybe a new idea called the Gray Rock method.
I’ve lived with my share of narcissistic and toxic individuals before, and these were some of the hardest people to endure. A few of these relationships were so bad that it caused severe damage to my mental state. This can really happen, by the way.
I’ve endured weight loss, been through both physical and verbal abuse, and even became convinced that I was the problem myself. Trust me, a true narcissist loves to tell you that you’re the narcissist yourself. It’s one of the indicators of who you’re really dealing with.
A certain blogger named Skylar came up with a method of dealing with narcissists and other toxic people. This method can also work on psychopaths, sociopaths, and others with similar strategies of manipulation.
The Gray Rock Method is only for those who just cannot get away from the toxic person. If you can leave, yes, leave, but if you can’t or don’t want to, you see, you’re going to need a way to survive and even possibly thrive while enduring the abuse.
Imagine a gray rock, not a brown one, but a gray one. You see, any other rock, like brown, red, or a mixture or swirl of colors would have a certain creative personality. Now, I’m not saying the color gray is ugly or anything, it’s just not the most lively of hues.
So, see this rock in your mind and imagine the rock among many other things of other colors, shapes, and sizes. Now, imagine yourself as a gray rock among colorful rocks. Who do you think would get the attention? Well, it could be anybody, but chances are, you’d be the last one approached.
Narcissists and toxic individuals don’t like gray worlds, but we have to create one for them to understand.
Narcissists love attention. In fact, they thrive off being the spotlight almost all the time. If they’re not getting attention, you best believe they are on their way or making plans to get attention somehow.
If you live with a narcissist, you understand how much they can drain you. You know all about their lies, their blame-shifting, gaslighting, and manipulation of other sorts. Let’s face it, you know what you’re dealing with sooner or later.
So, what can a gray rock do for a narcissist? Acting as a gray rock won’t cut it, you have to become the gray rock. And why is that? It’s that your attention and your responses feed the narcissist. If you become a gray rock, you change the whole dynamic. You practically starve toxic people.
Okay, here’s what you do. Do you know how narcissists try to start fights? Well, the next time that happens and they start asking ridiculous questions and throwing around insults, just say, “Okay”. You know the insults aren’t true, but who cares! Let them keep talking to themselves, basically.
Also, instead of being around them, spend more time alone doing mundane things, things which cannot draw attention to them. Narcissists hate being bored or around boring things, and this is what you have been… a boring person who does boring things.
Let me add something to that, however. You don’t always have to do boring things and say okay to everyone. This special treatment is only for the toxic people in your life. For others, the ones who treat you right, you should carry on with your life as normal. But as soon as the toxic individual comes around, act like you have no interest whatsoever in what they have to say.
I do want to prepare you for the outcome of the gray rock method. When you start to ignore them or give them short answers, they will then start to like you less and less. They may throw tantrums and throw things like a child. Stand firm. Most of the time, especially in intimate relationships, the narcissist will eventually leave.
But that’s not always before they cheat or stay gone most of the time to support their ego elsewhere, and they will do this. It’s impossible for a toxic person to remain in the company of someone who provides no attention to feed their emptiness.
After some time has gone by, they do leave for good. They may bluff divorce or break up many times before actually leaving. They’re even known to beg for you to take them back later with the promise of better behavior.
It’s rare, but sometimes this method can help people see what they are or what they’re becoming. In some cases, I suppose, they can become completely different people who actually care about other’s feelings.
It’s possible that they can kill some of the hunger for attention if they learn to see the truth. And that’s where the problem lies. It’s just so hard for the narcissist to see themselves as others do. They actually see their behavior as perfectly normal. So, let’s try our best and prepare for the alternative, I always say.
If you’re dealing with a toxic person, try the Gray Rock Method and see how it works for you. Start off slow so you prevent possible violence or rage against your responses.
After all, being ignored is one of the things a narcissist hates most. I wish you well and hope you succeed in having a healthy and happy life.
References:
View Comments
K first Off all I was a narcissist my self IDK if there are levels of this disorder then I would say I was at level 1 of this disease. Well I use to laugh so peep pain even my own siblings tripper and fell I was laughing so loud and was on floor laughing. I wanted everyone to feel my pain but never felt anything to anyone. This happened way back then when I was a child now I'm 32 yrs old. I changed my self to be a better woman. IDK why I was a narcissist may be I was adopted as a child and I never had great toys to play with even my siblings grew up like me. We had no toys or friends I was bekeived since childhood my life was end that's all it was all about but I see others parents attain their children's school events show up at parent meeting and stuff. I started growing up then nothing moved as I thought I wanted to have a great life but no. I guess in not a narcissist cause I opted for different jobs I started getting peep. I change my point of view I go to church to pray for myself as well help others. I go to mosque some countries have mosques for ladies too so I go cleaning up the mosque stair ways or arranging Quran's in book self for the readers and worshipers to make it easy for them during the fasting days holy month. Peep call me out to pray for them in church to share my experiences. Today I understand everyone so well I'm a board minded mature woman. I was a narcissist way back then but I wasn't evil. Like the real narcissists. Ik how evil a narcissist can be. IDK why they feel proud of themselves while compared to other human. Ik a narcissist who's 63yr old who's from a village and yet compares her self to me and thinks she has better qualities then me. I just laughed from inside and said it to my self I was raised up in town and in a private school this sick b**** haven't been to school what makes her think she's better then me or anyone else with zero qualities she has in her. And I do always keep my self busy with doing lot of things working in various fields I started working at age of 17. I have lived with a narcissist for a year now I have known their tricks and lies and games. I don't pay much attention to this old woman cause Ik she's full of shit. Today I thank God for my life I am blessed with the experiences I gained. I take heart breaks very well. If my x wants to leave me I would cry for a month or two but I get over it thinking love is not a one way road. If someone has fallen out of love doesn't mean u manipulate or cry and act like good girl to have them back. There's nothing one can do but just move on with life be a mature person and think there's a lot in life to take care of then to be bragging about pain and heartbreak. Just need to believe in ur self that ur not born to suffer or struggle just know ur beautiful and right person will come by to make u look beautiful and evergreen. If u have had failed relationships it means u lack something too like it may be understanding capacity or may be have communication problem we are not flawed and I'm not ashamed to talk about all the embarssing moments I had in my entire life whether a annoying date or whether I was crazyly drunk lol life is too short to be worried and there's no problem on earth which has no plan A or B to it. There's no problem on earth which has no solution at all or with no options it's us who choose it the choice is in our hands.