Someone with a high conflict personality can be nice at times but aggravating more often than not.

There are certain friends and family members whom you have to distance yourself from as they simply stress you out. If you notice your blood boiling whenever you spend too much time with a particular person, chances are that YOU are not the problem. If you are a typically calm person, yet, you feel stressed or angry around one person, they may be high conflict.

Here are seven unfortunate signs that you are dealing with a high conflict personality.

1. Loud voice

Some people are just loud talkers in general, but when someone raises their voice to a yell multiple times a day, they are probably bad news. Whether screaming to achieve a dramatic effect or getting heated too easily and starting arguments, these people add stress and conflict to any situation.

2. Opinions on EVERYTHING

It’s okay to be opinionated, but someone with a high conflict personality goes a little too far. These people have opinions on everything from how you should style your hair to how you should hold a pen.

Moreover, much of the time, these opinions can lead to negative criticism, which, in turn, raises the opportunity for argument and conflict.

3. Very picky

High conflict people will often be picky about everything from the food they eat to the overall lifestyle that they live. These people can’t rough it and go camping or handle trying something new.

When spending time with picky people, you always feel like you need to make sure that they are happy. This is stressful and should not be your job. Eventually, when others get frustrated with this bad attitude, fights tend to break out.

4. Too defensive

If someone is always defending themselves when they clearly don’t need to be, they likely have a high conflict personality.

Highly defensive people take everything very personally and turn neutral comments into attacks. You have to walk on eggshells around these types of people because it’s just easier to keep them happy rather than deal with them.

5. Always right

It’s always nice to be right, but those with high conflict personalities have got to be right all the time unless you want to watch them make a scene.

If someone with a high conflict personality does kind of admit to being wrong, they will be sure to blame others in the process. It’s not their fault that they weren’t right this one time, as someone clearly gave them the wrong information or tricked them into being wrong somehow.

6. They seem too extreme

High conflict personalities will both act and think in extreme ways. Something little always seems like a big deal to them and they are constantly stressing others out by blowing things out of proportion. 

When you tell them that something is not a big deal, it only gets worse. They will do everything they think of to emulate how big of a deal is to them, whether it includes yelling, crying or saying hurtful things.

7. Go big or go home

Go big or go home is a phrase that a high conflict person will take all too seriously. When they react to something, they do so dramatically. If they don’t win the contest, they may as well have gotten the last place. This type of behavior is very difficult to stay sane around, and needless to say, it raises conflict left and right.

If these seven things are something you see in a person you know, this person has a high conflict personality. It is important to know that you are not the one to be blamed. If you need to distance yourself for sanity’s sake, don’t feel horribly guilty. Sometimes that is simply what needs to happen.


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