If you have to deal with manipulative people, there are some ways to protect yourself from their influence and eventually cut them out of your life.
We tend to encounter different kinds of people in life. Unfortunately, the share of negative characters around us is quite high. Among different types of negative and toxic personalities such as narcissists, gossipers, blamers, complainers, to name a few, there are also manipulators who have the potential to suck the life out of you. For this reason, it’s important to know how to deal with manipulative people in your life.
Manipulators master the art of draining self-confidence out of you and replace it with self-doubt. Such people try their best to prove that their claims and opinions are objective and reliable facts. On the other hand, they’ll say that they are concerned about your problems and life.
What we should realize is that manipulative people aren’t at all concerned about our wellbeing and care only about their own interests. The best part is, you can always deal with such personalities effectively without allowing them to wear you down.
There are some really drastic and solid ways to deal with manipulative people to bring the change and drive such toxicities out of your life for good.
Avoid all the influences from their side
The foremost thing that any victim of a manipulator should realize: ignore a manipulative person. A manipulative person will make abrupt reversal on different issues, try to talk themselves out of the situation when held accountable. They will promise things but will never fulfill them and will regularly make you feel guilty of any kind of shortcoming. In short, everything that no one prefers to encounter.
One of the biggest mistakes anyone can make when dealing with a manipulator is making an effort to fix them. In attempting to do so, you’re only going to frustrate yourself and fall further into their deceiving and traps. They will want to make you feel emotional to figure out how your personality and mind work.
Once they are sure of the things that influence you, they’ll use them to influence your decision-making and actions. This is where you should ignore them as much as you can. Sometimes it is easier said than done, as the person could be your manager, fellow college, classmate, or even a family member. The point is to allow yourself to listen to them but not act the way they expect you to.
Tap into their center of gravity
Manipulative people will even go to the extent of influencing your social circle. For example, they will become friends with your friends and will later convince them to go against you. This is where you need to turn their game against them.
The trick is to identify the things that reside in their discomfort zone and strike at those instances at the right time. This way of dealing with shady characters is especially applicable for those who find it difficult to ignore manipulative people. You need to locate their center of gravity and pounce on it. Such sensitive spots could be anything ranging from their friends, professional circle, acquaintances, etc.
Let’s not fall under the impression that you need to become somewhat “negative” in your motives of attacking them. Remember, it’s about protecting yourself from such common negative influences plaguing the society, workplaces, and schools.
And locating their most prized possessions, close people, etc. and tactfully dealing with them where the manipulator will become defenseless is a strong way to bring peace in your own life.
Trust your intuition
You have your family members and close friends. Still, you are the only person who can understand your life better than anyone else. It is not uncommon to see people wandering around all lost asking opinions from others on, such as, “Is this the right career for me?”, “What should I do with my life?”, “Am I in the right relationship?”, etc.
The point is, no one is to define your life but you. This is what separates highly successful people in life from just any other ordinary person walking on the street. Successful and happy people believe in their abilities and dreams, rather than looking to others for approval. By creating and holding onto your beliefs and values, you leave no chance for manipulative people to affect your decisions and life in general.
This is why you should always trust your gut reaction and judgment as you feel over the course of your life.
Say “no” to compromise
Guilt is absolutely useless, but unfortunately, it affects almost every one of us. On the other hand, it can also be used as a powerful weapon by the manipulators.
Such people will make an individual feel guilty for all his or her failures or misfortunes, or, for the disastrous consequences of being overly confident and prideful. They simply can’t stand any time when you are happy and cheerful, so they will try to use it against you. Their point being, no one should ever feel content and satisfied with themselves.
As said earlier, manipulators are also known to incorporate the element of “doubt” in you, doubt pertaining to your abilities and self-worth. This is how the manipulators force you in the phase of uncertainty. With time, their influence tends to thrive and demand more from you to compromise on your interests, preferences, values, goals, etc.
If you have manipulative people in your life, there is quite a straightforward yet promising way to deal with them — stop feeling guilty. Remember, when we talk about our own life, we don’t owe anything to anyone. It doesn’t matter which age group, social class, ethnic class, occupation and educational qualifications you belong to, you should always feel confident and proud of your accomplishments.
In order to do that, you need to build the right self-belief and stay away from manipulators. Stop compromising your worth and beliefs. Otherwise, you are at risk of finding yourself on the road to self-destruction and hopelessness.
ABOUT THE AUTHOR
Lara Hawkins is a certified psychologist and has over a decade of experience of working in different corporate cultures and markets. Besides her regular job and passion in educating people on their self-improvement efforts, Lara is also doing a part-time job as an assignment writer.
Copyright © 2012-2019 Learning Mind. All rights reserved. For permission to reprint, contact us.