The gaslighter at work is just as insidious as your toxic friends or family. In fact, they operate in an environment that offers additional ways to make you look bad.
The gaslighter at work can turn your environment into a toxic hellscape. All they need is a way to make you seem like a liar or worse, “crazy”.
Unfortunately, most of us work with someone who routinely uses gaslighting as a weapon. They either use this to get ahead of you or to actually get you fired. You must be careful when dealing with these individuals.
Recognizing the gaslighter at work
At work, you’ll encounter many types of people with various characteristics. It’s a struggle just to get used to being around these individuals in a work environment, as opposed to family or friends. So, when you encounter a gaslighting coworker, the environment becomes even worse.
The gaslighter can act in many strange ways, including telling you that you said things that you did not, and even saying you did not do things that you distinctly remember accomplishing.
Signs of gaslighting at work:
- dismissals without due process
- lies and open criticism
- refusal to carry out fair investigations
- unfair disciplinary actions
- failure to disclose important information
- lack of transparency
- outright bullying behavior
How to destroy a gaslighter at work
So, how do we shut them down? Better yet, how do we destroy gaslighters at work so they will think twice about mistreating people again? Well, it’s not easy, but we can try some of the following actions:
1. Gather facts
The first thing you’ll want to do is gather facts. Those who gaslight you will never admit to what they are doing. This is because they usually have a narcissistic personality disorder. So exposing them without evidence rarely works out for you.
Instead, keep a record of all the inconsistencies and lies they tell. While proving what the gaslighter does may be difficult, it’s not impossible, and it’s better to have all the facts.
2. Be vigilant
Stay vigilant, keeping your eye out for body language and sudden changes in behavior. You can sometimes tell when a gaslighter is about to spew nonsense.
When you’ve been abused for a long time, you learn to recognize things before they even occur. If you stay vigilant, you can catch these toxic individuals and call them on their actions. This lets them know you are on to them, so they may think twice before doing anything nefarious, at least for that moment.
3. Monitor performance
If you are a boss who suspects that one of your employees may be engaging in gaslighting or other manipulative actions, the victim may show signs of decreased work performance.
Gaslighting affects mental health to such an extent that it’s sometimes difficult to conduct yourself as you did before. Work becomes much tougher when someone gaslights you. You may doubt yourself or your performance. This will show eventually. And when the boss knows, then maybe they can shut it down.
4. Ignore emotional labels
Emotional labels are jabs that a person makes to attack your self-esteem. For instance, when someone engages in gaslighting behavior, they may call you crazy or stupid. And if you do not shut this down, your mind may start questioning these labels.
While some people are stronger than others, emotional labels still leave scars. Learning to ignore emotional labels helps destroy the gaslighter. They see that their name-calling isn’t working as well as they want, and these gaslighting games aren’t quite as effective.
5. Seek support
No one likes to be alone with their struggles, especially when it comes to bullies or narcissistic coworkers. Having a support system is good for two reasons. You need someone to talk to when it gets really bad in the workplace. Also, when you have a support system, this other person will eventually see the truth in the gaslighter’s behavior.
6. Expose lies
With the facts that you gather, show them to someone else you trust, maybe your support system. With every lie they tell, make sure you let someone know what you’re experiencing. The gaslighter at work will attempt to spread rumors about you, suggesting you are the problem.
But if you have proof, this helps you expose them, hence exposing their lies.
7. Remain calm
One of the things that annoys the gaslighter the most is your ability to remain calm. The objective of their insidious strategies is to knock you off balance and destroy your sense of peace. Do not let them do this. When someone gaslights you, just remember the truth. Then just go about your workday as normal.
Yes, you will be working on their downfall in the background, but they don’t need to be aware of this. You can be peacefully planning and orchestrating, gathering your support system and your facts. Staying calm will help you and also confuse the gaslighter.
Yes, the gaslighter at work can be destroyed!
Maybe it seems impossible, or at least daunting, to destroy the gaslighter at work. But it is possible and must be done for your well-being. A gaslighter can destroy you, so you must remove their influence from your life, or at least learn how to survive while you work with them.
Don’t lose hope when dealing with a gaslighter. Remember, other people see the truth. It may not be obvious to them at first, but over time, the gaslighter will show who they really are. When this happens, you can build your defense against them.
And the most important thing for you to remember is the truth. If you hold fast to what you know is truth, then the strategies of the gaslighter cannot affect you. And when you get a chance to get away from their influence, don’t hesitate.
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