Some of us relish a good argument and others do whatever we can to avoid it. The problem is that many of today’s current events generate polarizing views, and we can often find ourselves whipped up into an argument with no end in sight.
Ending an argument is challenging when both sides refuse to give way. However, there are ways. You can be polite, funny, use putdowns or even distracting techniques. I searched the internet for phrases that show you how to end an argument.
How to End an Argument Using These 53 Brilliant Phrases
Polite Phrases to End an Argument
“I never saw an instance of one of two disputants convincing the other by argument.”
Thomas Jefferson
Knowing how to end an argument politely is tricky, but if you’re the sort of person who thinks arguments are pointless, then the following phrases might be useful to remember.
They are all good ‘get out of jail’ cards because you are not admitting you’re wrong, you’re taking the heat away from the situation.
- “I never thought about it like that.”
- “It has been very rewarding to explore this together.”
- “Let’s agree to disagree.”
- “Thanks for sharing your point of view.”
- “Let me think about it.”
- “You seem confident, so it doesn’t matter what I think.”
- “I hear where you’re coming from.”
- “We may not agree on this, and that’s ok.”
- “I appreciate your opinion.”
Funny Phrases to End an Argument
“I’ll never forget what’s-his-name.”
Bette Davis
Humor can often diffuse a tense situation. One minute you’re at each other’s throats, the next you’re in fits of laughter. A funny phrase in an argument is like popping a balloon; the tension instantly evaporates.
- “My goodness, is it 4:30? I’m supposed to be having a back, sack and crack.”
- “Oh gosh, sorry, I didn’t realize we were arguing. I thought this was foreplay.”
- “Listen, there’s more to this than science and logic.”
- “You can’t treat me like this. I don’t care how good looking you are!”
- “You wanna f**k or a fight? Cause I’m getting naked either way.”
- “Hello. My name is Inigo Montoya. You killed my father. Prepare to die.”
- “Pics or it didn’t happen (and banana for scale).”
Putdowns that End an Argument
“When you’re arguing with a fool, you’re the fool for even going back and forth.”
Justine Skye
If you want to know how to end an argument with a savage putdown that wipes the floor with your opponent, check out the following phrases.
These phrases are useful for people you dislike or rarely interact with. You may not want to use them for your boss, family members, or close friends, as some are pretty scathing.
- “I’m so sorry for hurting your feelings; I thought you already knew how stupid you are.”
- “The last time I saw something like you… I flushed it.”
- “You shouldn’t let your mind wander. It’s too little to go off on its own.”
- “First off: Brush your teeth.”
- “Oh sorry, were you talking to me? I thought you only did that behind my back.”
- “I truly believe there’s someone out there for everyone. For you, it’s a therapist.”
- “Check your makeup girl before you come for me.”
- “You continue to meet my expectations.”
- “Whatever doesn’t kill you really disappoints me.”
- “Whoever told you to be yourself gave you terrible advice.”
- “One of the two of us is dumber than me.”
- “If you’re gonna be two-faced, at least make one of them pretty.”
- “Remember when I asked you for your opinion? Nope, me neither.”
- “I’m not arguing with you. I’m simply explaining why you’re wrong.”
- “You’re not that handsome to be this stupid.”
- “It’s impossible to underestimate you.”
- “Stupidity isn’t a crime, so you’re free to go.”
- “Hey, you have something on your chin… No, not that one, one of the other ones.”
Sarcastic Phrases to End an Argument
“It is impossible to defeat an ignorant man in an argument.”
William Gibbs McAdoo
If you’re like me, you can never remember a clever sarcastic response, so I like to have a few phrases up my sleeve in case of emergencies.
- “Oh, I’m sorry. Did the middle of my sentence interrupt the beginning of yours?”
- “Is that the end of your argument or is part 2 coming out soon?”
- “Doesn’t matter. Had sex.”
- “I’m not your type. I’m not inflatable.”
- “We should wrap this up. You look tired.”
- “I’m sorry I offended you; it was purely intentional.”
- “I say this is the nicest way I know how, but I really think your breeding has/would make us weaker as a species.”
- “You might not be the dumbest person in the world, but you better hope the other guy doesn’t die.”
- “It’s really fun watching you try to understand everything that’s being said about you.”
- “I’m convinced you couldn’t empty sand out of your shoe if the directions were written on the bottom.”
- “Speaking with you is like playing chess with a pigeon. You just knock down all the pieces, shit all over the board, and claim you’ve won.”
Distracting Phrase to End an Argument
“It takes two to quarrel, but only one to end it.”
Spanish Proverb
Sometimes you haven’t got the energy or the wit to engage in an argument. You just need an excuse to get out of the situation as quickly as possible.
- “Gosh, sorry, gotta go. I have to return some videotapes.”
- “I love to debate this with you, but I’ve got dinner cooking on the stove.”
- “What’s your favorite prehistoric fish/animal?”
- “Hold that thought. I gotta answer this call.”
- “Wait, can you smell something burning?”
- “Can I get you anything? A cup of coffee? Doughnut? Toupee?”
- “OMG. You’re so hot right now.”
- “I would love to stand here and argue, but I really need to pee.”
Final Thoughts
Whether you love arguing or avoid conflict, I hope you’ll find a few useful phrases from the ones above to help you end an argument.
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