If you want to live a better life, then you must not dwell on resentment. Bitterness can damage your health and leave scars.
Stress comes in so many forms and derives from various sources. If stress derives from unforgiveness or unsolved problems, it can lead to bitterness. Resentment is when this bitterness is projected to certain individuals or situations. Learning how to let go of resentment can be one of the hardest tasks to accomplish.
Why you need to let things go
It’s time to understand let go of any resentment you might be experiencing. Why? Because holding onto bitterness of this fashion can cause many different problems, and not all of them revolve around getting along with others. Sometimes not letting go of resentments can affect you!
Let’s examine a few reasons why you should try and let go of resentment.
1. Better heart health
Your heart is affected by strain and stress. This means, whenever you are upset, the rapid pace of your heartbeat can age and damage the muscles of your heart. Your heart just wasn’t designed to take the wear and tear of unneeded stress.
2. Mental health
Resentment, since it is a form of stress can cause mental health issues. For instance, if you refuse to forgive someone, you hold stress and resentment inside. This can cause depression or anxiety depending on how you secretly feel about the situation.
While most people who are resentful say being estranged from another doesn’t bother them, often they are lying. Things usually put more strain on an individual’s mental health than they want to admit.
3. Healthier immune system
The energy it takes to hold resentment can weaken the body, especially the immune system. This can make us more supceptable to physical illnesses. Letting go of resentments refuels the body. When you let your resentment go, you actually strengthen your immune system naturally.
4. Better relationships
If you are holding resentment toward someone, you will carry this feeling into other relationships. It’s true.
Sometimes you may catch yourself yelling at your children because of the resentment you feel from a broken marriage or other relationship. It happens just that easily. If you let go of resentment, you will cultivate much better present and future relationships.
How can I let go of resentment?
You can let go, and I’m going to tell you how to do that as well. Letting go can be a beautiful experience, full of peacefulness and joy. I’m not going to say it’s easy, but I will say it’s worth it. Just try these out and see for yourself.
1. Identify the problem
For some, this step is easy enough, but for others, this can only lead them in circles of blame. So, identifying the problem must be taking one slow step at a time. You must also be able to be honest with yourself first of all. For instance, if a situation has caused resentment between you and another person, and you are not willing to take any responsibility, then you might be at a standstill.
Taking responsibility doesn’t mean you’re to blame for the entire issue, but it does show that you are willing to find a resolution. This acknowledgment is key. So, if you want to let resentment go, you must be willing to identify the problem….the truth as well.
2. Identify ALL resentments
Speaking of identifying the problem, there could be more than one situation that causes this bitterness. For most of us, this is true. So, here’s a small challenge.
Sit down and write every single resentful thing. It could be a person, place or thing. When you do this, you get a big picture of just how bitter you really are. As you do this, you also release a bit of tension every time you approach a subject in your mind.
3. Refuse to be a victim
If someone has wronged you, yes, you may feel like a victim. In ways, you are. BUT the only way to let go of resentment is to take charge from your position and stop playing the victim.
Some people, me included, have remained a victim for far too long because of something horrific that was done to us. Even though we feel that we were a victim of this circumstance, this doesn’t mean we shouldn’t try to dig ourselves out.
The truth is, some times no one comes to the rescue, and we have to save ourselves. Remaining a victim and remaining resentful will keep us under the other person’s control…forever. We have to say no, we’re no longer victims, we are survivors.
4. Make connections
Here’s an interesting fact. You can actually start connecting each of your behaviors to the source of that behavior. Well, I don’t mean every single aspect of your personality. Rather, I mean the really negative traits.
For example, your unforgiveness could have actually come from a bad experience in high school rather than from a situation that happened just last year. It’s important to make these connections to help you pinpoint the age of the issue. Maybe some of your resentments are lingering out of habit.
Just think of how much headspace cleaning you could do in this manner.
5. You MUST take SOME responsibility
Okay, so you think you are 100% innocent, right? Well, you’re probably not. I might step on a few toes with this one, but I just have to say it. If I didn’t tell you this, I would have to answer to my higher power for misleading you.
In truth, 99.9% of all situations between two people involve wrongs done by BOTH sides. So, in order to ever be able to let go of resentments, you must first learn to take responsibility for your own actions. This can possibly be the most difficult step in healing hurts.
6. Meditation, solitude…whatever calms your spirit
This last tip is designed to help you choose a tool of enlightenment. In order to completely let go of resentments, you must locate your higher existence. The person you are now with all those thorns and jagged edges is not the person you were meant to me. You must reach a point of pure love and forgiveness.
This can only be truly attainment by practices such as meditation and self-realization techniques. If you’re unfamiliar with these things, then take some time and research!
Resentments have to go
Yes, it’s hard to come to the place where you realize that things must change. Yes, it’s hard to forgive someone for mortally wounding you mentally. I get it. The truth is, you don’t forgive people in order to make their lives better.
Trust me, most of them have forgotten or do not care anyway. You forgive them for yourself…so you can have peace and stop talking about what they did to you all the time. It becomes an unhealthy habit and topic of gossip. It’s just bad.
So, I challenge you to let go…just let go and regain control over yourself. You will be glad you did!
Copyright © 2012-2019 Learning Mind. All rights reserved. For permission to reprint, contact us.