At times, we all worry that we’re annoying the people around us. Although it’s something we all struggle with, very few of us have any real idea of how to stop being annoying.
Unfortunately, this often means we end up spiralling and digging a deeper and deeper hole, inevitably becoming more annoying as we try to be less annoying.
You might also find yourself confused, struggling to identify if you are coming across as annoying. Sometimes, others behave strangely around us, leading us to worry that we might be getting on their nerves.
Signs You Annoy Other People
1. You Don’t Get Invited
Perhaps the most obvious sign that the people around you find you annoying is that they don’t invite you to gatherings and events outside of your usual meeting place.
Perhaps it’s after-work drinks with co-workers or weekend hangs with classmates, you never seem to be included. This isn’t necessarily a sign that they don’t like you as a person, but rather that they find you difficult to be around because you annoy them.
2. You’re The Last to Know the Latest News
Among close-knit groups of friends, news spreads like wildfire. Good news, bad news, gossip, and rumours are shared so quickly through friends in workplaces or schools, which only makes it more obvious that other people think you’re annoying.
If you find yourself always being the last person to know the latest news, it might be because you annoy other people – they have chosen to avoid telling you.
This could be because you’re too excitable or not excited enough about other people’s news. You might have a habit of sharing other people’s private information or ruin their moment by making it entirely about yourself.
3. Others Don’t Want to Hear You
If others find you annoying, you might come to realise that they rarely let you speak, or don’t enjoy it when you do. They might interrupt you when you’re telling a story or expressing your opinion, or talk over you to drown you out.
You might find that they zone out when you’re talking, showing complete disinterest in what you have to say. Typically, if you annoy other people, they won’t ask you questions about yourself or offer you space to give your opinion in a conversation.
4. Body Language
You can often tell if you’re annoying to other people by checking in with their body language. In many situations, body language can tell us everything we need to know about how the people around us are feeling, without having to express it in words. This allows us to adapt our behaviour without having to confront the person.
Typically, if they’re feeling annoyed by you, a person will show their lack of interest in you with their body. For example, they may turn away, not look at you while you talk, or fold their arms across their chest.
More obvious signs include exchanging glances with other people around you or rolling their eyes as you speak. They might sigh or smile and nod without showing any real engagement.
How to Stop Being Annoying
1. Be Humble
If you’re wondering how to stop being annoying, the first place is to check in with is your self-confidence. Being proud of yourself and confident in the way you are is great, but sometimes this can tip into arrogance.
For many people, arrogance is a deal-breaker when it comes to friendship. Being around someone who thinks so highly of themselves can be irritating and makes it very difficult to build a deep connection.
People who are arrogant tend to be terrible listeners, uncaring and self-obsessed. Holding a conversation with someone like this can be very annoying.
Check in with how humble you are. The way to stop being annoying could be as simple as watching that you’re not unintentionally belittling others or bragging too much about yourself.
Ask about the other people around you and listen carefully when they speak. Engage with them in a way that feels equal, not all about you, or all about them.
2. Be a Good Person
Sometimes, being annoying has nothing to do with your personality at all and more to do with your actions. Other people might think you’re fun to be around, a good friend, but they are annoyed by the way you behave.
Consider how good you are as a person, co-worker, roommate, or classmate. Often, we are incredibly annoyed by people who are inconsiderate, for example always leaving a mess behind, leaving food out of the fridge, or being too noisy when others are trying to sleep or work.
You might often be late to occasions, which can annoy people to no end, or behave inappropriately out in public. By putting more time and energy into being a good person who puts effort into being kind and polite, you might find that other people warm up to you much easier.
3. Don’t Try So Hard
If you wonder how to stop being annoying, the best answer to this question could be to not ask it at all. Over-eagerness, intensity, and clinginess make a person very annoying.
If you’re finding that other people are pushing you away, likely because they think you’re annoying, the best thing to do is to stop chasing them. Most people don’t enjoy feeling smothered or clung to, especially by people they don’t necessarily know well, like a co-worker or classmate.
If you want others to respect you rather than feel irritated by you, keep your distance at the appropriate times. Give them time to breathe. Remember, friends don’t need to be in contact all the time.
If you are overly concerned about being less annoying, you’re probably being annoying. Relax, don’t over-think it. The harder to try to fix the situation, the worse you’re going to come off.
4. Put Yourself in Their Shoes
If you want to know how to be less annoying, the best person to turn to is the person you fear you’re irritating. However, in most circumstances, you shouldn’t ask them directly.
Instead, take a minute to see the world from their point of view. Try to put yourself in their position, viewing your own behaviour. It might be uncomfortable or challenging to be totally realistic and honest about your own actions, but it’s the only real way to solve your problem and build a friendship.
Perhaps, when you see it through their eyes, you’ll see that you dominate conversations. You might never let others speak, and this can be annoying. Maybe you’re obsessive with others, wanting to be together at all times. This can also be irritating.
You might come to realise that you’re loud, rude, too silly, or too serious. While it can be painful to look inwards and reflect on your less-desirable behaviours, it is a guaranteed way to correct what is making you annoying to others.
When it comes to figuring out how to stop being annoying, often less is more. A quick review of your habits will reveal if you’re doing something fundamentally wrong.
If you’re a good person who is kind and courteous, listens well, and doesn’t cling to people too hard, then the best thing you can do is relax. Wanting friendships too hard is off-putting and not good for your own wellbeing either.
There are people out there who won’t find you annoying and will appreciate all of your quirks. Don’t put too much of your energy into appeasing people who don’t appreciate you.
Great article!