Have you recently realized your selfish behavior? Learn how to stop being selfish and contribute more to the world around you.
It was not until my early 40s that I realized just how selfish I had become. I didn’t believe others when they told me to stop being so self-absorbed, which is a bit different from selfishness, but similar. I had to learn how to stop being selfish by practicing new mindsets and actions. They were the best moves I could have made in life.
Are you selfish?
Before you can learn how to stop being selfish, you must see the selfish behavior within yourself. Many people aren’t able to change things about themselves simply because they refuse to accept their faults.
So, obviously, recognizing the signs of being selfish is the key to stop being selfish. Here are things to look for.
You will recognize a selfish person or the selfishness within yourself by gauging how you view things. If you think the world revolves around you or your needs, then yes, you are a selfish person. If you notice friends who put their needs and only their needs in the forefront, then yes, they are selfish as well.
Self-centeredness leaves no room for the needs and desires of others. This sign is one of the easiest indicators to spot.
2. Lack of thankfulness
When someone does something for you, do you feel grateful? If people are helping you and giving you gifts, and you aren’t thankful for these things, then you are feeling entitled.
Remember, you are not entitled to anything. Things that people do for you are from the kindness of their hearts, at least this is how it’s supposed to go. You will recognize a selfish person by their lack of gratefulness.
3. No responsibility for actions
Another sign that you or a loved one is a selfish person is seen in the inability to accept responsibility for doing wrong. A selfish person will never want to take the blame for something they’ve done. This would mean they have to leave their comfort zone to right a wrong.
Not accepting blame helps the selfish to live the same life without change. Change, as you know, sometimes requires cutting things away, and a selfish person doesn’t want to lose anything.
4. Hates seeing others succeed
A truly selfish person wants to hog the spotlight. Anytime other people threaten to take the spotlight for a moment, the selfish person will work hard to take it back. For instance, a friend may win an award, but the selfish person will claim responsibility for the work done by the friend. Selfish people, instead of focusing on their own success, have to steal recognition for immediate gratitude.
5. Shady motives
One indicator that I have noticed with selfish people is that they generally have two motives whenever doing something. For instance, a selfish man may wish to help someone, but his first motive is to gain recognition for helping. The real motive is for attention, while the false motive, the secondary one, is to help someone. Pay attention to whether or not someone gains attention from the sacrificial things they do. They could be hiding a shady motive.
How can we change?
Now that you’ve taken a glance at selfishness, you can begin to eliminate selfishness from your life. It’s time to learn how to stop being selfish.
There are a few steps you must consider when taking this journey. Read them, use them accordingly and practice them from day to day. Eventually, your entire nature will change and you will be able to show others how to stop being selfish.
1. Make friends with a compromise
One way to eliminate selfish behavior is to learn more about compromise. Relationships, whether intimate or platonic, require a bit of compromise from time to time. This is because each of us has needs and desires which are equally important, and we must learn to meet in the middle with decisions. Keep this fact in mind and practice making more compromises.
2. Put yourself in other shoes
Another way to decrease your tendency to be selfish is to imagine you are the other person in the situation. How do you think they feel? What do you think they want? Leaving selfishness behind means caring about the wants and needs of someone else. You have to pretend you are the other person to really appreciate that everyone deserves the same quality of life.
3. Get a pet
Now, please take the time before making a decision on this one. If you are really willing to stop being selfish, then acquiring a pet will help you get even better. You must remember that pets need love, attention, and care, so this means a commitment to another being aside from yourself. Pets allow you to realize the value of another living thing which puts some of your selfishness to rest.
4. Volunteer your time
Helping others is a great way to kill selfishness. Keep in mind, however, that you must help people from a mindset of love and not gain. If you feel as though you are helping to get attention, then rethink your motives.
It’s better to not help at all if you are helping with the wrong motives. These things can go wrong and cause more pain for the person you are helping. Always do things out of the kindness of your heart, and even practice anonymous giving.
5. Sacrifice your spotlight
If you notice that you’ve acquired a “fan club” for your achievements, then sacrifice it. If you find yourself basking in the spotlight, then turn off the light. It’s time to give up your spot on center stage and then put someone else there for a change. If you can sacrifice your spotlight and draw attention to someone else’s achievements, then you are a step toward eliminating your selfishness.
Anyone can change their ways
No matter how selfish a person may be, there is always time to change. Until we understand the detrimental effects of being selfish, we won’t be able to take the step toward that change. This is where education and patience come into the picture.
If you know someone who’s willing to learn how to stop being selfish, never give up on them. Remember, there was a time when you struggled with things as well. With love and learning, we can reach any goal, and acquire any dream. Even if it means just giving a little more of ourselves for someone else.
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