Friendships are important to your overall health and wellbeing. But be careful, the friends in your social circle could be secretly wishing for your failure in life. Are there ill-wishers among your friends?

Whether you care for social aspects in life, it is healthy to socialize and make friends. To extroverts, this may be easy and come naturally. Even introverts have a carefully selected friend group.

However, there are those friends who pretend to like you, and meanwhile, they secretly hope that you fail.

Are there ill-wishers in your circle?

There are signs of ill-wishers within your social group. While it may be difficult to pick them out, if you look closely, you can see the telltale indicators.

So, what are some of the signs that your friends aren’t rooting for your success? Let’s look.

1. Highly competitive

There is nothing wrong with being a little competitive with friends. However, if you have someone in your social circle that constantly competes against you, they probably don’t want you to succeed in life.

Pay attention to that person or persons who always tries to “one-up” your achievements. They really don’t want you to win at anything.

2. Constantly breaking your boundaries

Friends in your social circle that have your best interests in mind will respect your boundaries. But ill-wishers will always find ways to break them.

For instance, you probably have boundaries revolving around your standards and morals, and people who secretly want you to fail will constantly push these boundaries.

3. They regularly insult you

Those friends who wish you ill may question your beliefs and insult you because of things you do not tolerate. These are usually individuals who generalize your dislike and call it hatred, which are two different things.

Maybe they figure if they accuse you of having hatred all the time, you will change your standards and accept things you feel are abusive. This can ruin your life, and they know this.

Insults can come in many ways from insulting your looks to your emotions, but it’s all designed to bring you down.

4. Encouraging your bad behavior

Let’s be honest, we all have certain bad behaviors. But ill-wishers encourage our darker side, and it’s usually for two reasons: Our negative actions are entertaining, and they love to watch us crash and burn.

Think about those friends who neg you into driving fast and breaking the law, do you really think they have your best interests in mind?

What about the friend who suggests you physically confront someone who has wronged you, what do you think that shows?

5. There’s no support

There’s also another sign of an ill-wisher that may not be as obvious as the others. Some friends may not be noticeably mean or toxic, but they just might not care about you.

It could be a subtle indicator that shows they don’t support you like having little to say when you announce a success story. Although you get excited when they fulfill a dream, they don’t seem to reciprocate this excitement.

In fact, their lack of care could be silent resentment. It could be that they do notice, they are jealous, and so they refuse to be happy for you. Deep down inside, they want you to fail so they can shine.

6. They love to use you

Friends who really don’t care about your success will use you for their own gain. While they may tell you that they support and love you, their actions will prove otherwise.

They may call you constantly for advice or knock on your door, but when you need help, they are nowhere to be found.

7. Highly judgmental

You may do something that isn’t all that positive, but an ill-wisher will blow this out of proportion. Then they will judge you for this slight.

Even after weeks or months, they will bring up this “failure” to remind you that you’re imperfect. Mentally healthy people don’t do this.

8. Lying and gossiping

If you find out that a friend in your social circle is spreading gossip about you, it’s probably because they’re trying to take you down. Why? Well, there could be a couple of reasons.

They may have just singled you out if they perceive weakness, or they have some grudge from who knows when.

Either way, they are ill-wishers in your life. They do not want you to succeed. If you succeed, it will be more difficult to talk negatively about you. And most of the time, the ones who gossip are the nicest ones when face to face.

9. They triangulate you

Fake friends will triangulate you from your friends and family. In case you don’t know what this means, triangulation is when a particular friend will lie or gossip about you in an attempt to get closer to your family or friends.

Their goal is to isolate you from your loved ones. It literally feels like people you love are being stolen from you. And most of the time, these people are your greatest support system. Pay close attention to this sort of behavior.

10. Covert abuse

Any type of toxic behavior is used to make you fail. There’s just no other reason for using this type of tactic. And the behavior can be covert abuse – not easily recognizable.

Things such as gaslighting, deflecting, and failure to take responsibility can go under the radar. Before you know it, life is all about them and your dreams are on the backburner.

Pay close attention to every little detail once you get a whiff of abusive behavior.

Good wishers are healthy friends

Obviously, we want friends who support us and help us succeed in life. So, to do that, we must know the difference between those who wish us well and those who wish us ill outcomes.

I hope with this list of signs you can recognize who is rooting for you and who is setting you up for failure. And when you do see the truth, I hope you have the strength to remove those ill-wishers from your life. I wish you the best!


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the power of misfits

This Post Has 2 Comments

  1. Dianne Lininger

    I had a so called friend like this in high school & junior college. Her name was Betty Jean. Looking back I call her petty jean!

  2. Sherrie Hurd, A.A.

    Dianne,
    Individuals like this are common. I sometimes wonder if they really understand what they’re doing. I mean, do they actually mean harm, or is a negative mindset just natural to them? It’s interesting. Hope you are doing well, and thank you for reading.

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