For many of us, superficial conversations are unbearable. So, here are a few interesting things to talk about that can help you make a deeper connection.
Many of us were told we should never discuss politics or religion in polite society. But if we want to make a deeper connection with someone, then talking about the weather or some other polite topic won’t work. So how do we find interesting things to talk about that will help us to make a deeper connection with people?
The trick is to find something that connects us on a human level. In addition, the way we talk, and even more importantly, listen, makes a huge difference to how we connect.
When we are really trying to make a connection with someone, it is important to stay open and interested in what they have to say. Rather than considering what we want from the conversation or thinking about what we are going to say next, we should really listen to the other person. Often the best way is to take cues from what the other person is saying. If we listen carefully, we can find out what they are interested in and discover topics we have in common that we can explore in a meaningful way.
But how do we even get started on a meaningful conversation with someone, especially if we do not yet know them very well?
Here are a few interesting things to talk about that might help break the ice and lead to a more meaningful interaction. Of course, launching into some of the more in-depth topics straight away could be off-putting, so start with more neutral topics and then dig a little deeper.
1. What do you love to do on your day off?
Many people start a conversation with ‘what do you do for a living?’ This immediately limits the conversation. In addition, if the person isn’t crazy about their job, it can cast a negative mood on the conversation.
Asking someone what they choose to do in their leisure time is a great alternative. It will give them a chance to talk about something they love and it will give you an idea of what their interests and passions are.
2. What was the highlight of your day?
This question ensures that you start a conversation on a positive note right from the start. It can also offer you clues about what is important to the other person. It’s a great way to begin to get to know someone a little better.
3. What interesting things have you done recently?
This is another great way to find out about a person’s interests. It’s a starting point that will help you get to know them better and discover what inspires them. It also allows you to ask further questions about what lights them up.
4. Who do you admire and why?
This question is a good one to find out about another person’s values and dreams. Understanding who someone admires reveals what they value most and who they aspire to be.
5. What book has influenced you the most?
This can be a great question to forge a deeper connection. Discussing a book that has made an impact on someone can lead to an interesting conversation that will let you know more about who they are. This question also allows for interesting follow-up questions and a longer conversation than one which has a simple answer.
It makes sense to find out if the person is a reader first, otherwise, this question might be awkward.
6. Reveal something slightly personal about yourself.
Conversations work both ways. If you ask too many deep questions, it can feel like a bit of an interrogation. In addition, the other person can feel like they are at a disadvantage if you know more about them than they know about you.
Revealing something about yourself can make you feel vulnerable, but it is one of the quickest ways to develop more intimacy. By trusting someone with this information, you are showing them that you trust them as a person, too.
Obviously, you want to choose something that is not too personal or that would make the other person feel uncomfortable. Sharing a small dream or fear you have can work well.
7. What keeps you awake at night?
Once you have begun to develop a deeper relationship, this question can help to build an even stronger bond. It can provide a lot of interesting things to talk about. The answers to this question reveal a lot about someone’s humanity. It can give them a chance to open up on a subject such as society, politics, religion and the environment.
This will lead to a more challenging conversation that covers more negative thoughts and situations. However, a deeper relationship is not just built on happy, light-hearted conversations and this question will help you develop a more meaningful relationship.
Perhaps the most important thing to remember when trying to develop a deeper relationship is to find a balance between listening to the other person and sharing something about yourself.
In addition, it is best not to try to persuade someone round to your way of thinking. Doing this will close off the conversation and you will have stopped listening properly to their point of view. Staying open will help you find interesting things to talk about that are important to both of you.
Also, allow yourself to be a little vulnerable and you will soon make a deeper connection.
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