Being a lazy person with a restless mind is a conundrum. While I want to chase my dreams, I also want to find them while sleeping.
I am ashamed, in ways, to talk about how lazy I am. There are factors involved in my laziness, including mental health issues and my physical ailments, but let’s face it, I’m still lazy, and would be if I was in perfect health. Of course, there are opposing ideas to this, the most important being my desire to be successful with the work I love.
I can say that if nothing else gets done, I will be responsible. As long as I can face the day, I can conquer being a lazy person long enough to keep from going under. I’m not pleased with this aspect of myself and wish that I was more active. Being a lazy person with a restless mind just keeps the war waging.
But if it wasn’t for that war, I wouldn’t have the push I need to move forward. Seems okay, right? Not really, there are struggles when being a lazy person with a restless mind. Other than the obvious, of course.
The struggle is real, and focus is fleeting.
Okay, it’s hard enough being restless and yet not wanting to face the world, but to have outside influences become a distraction makes it even worse. It’s like walking through the thickest sludge, with a weight strapped to your ankle.
First, you fight your lack of motivation, any mental imperfections and then you have to wrestle with other people, other responsibilities and then the weather.
Outside influences also give you an excuse to be more of a lazy person. Have you used any of these excuses, “Oh, it’s too cold to go for a run”, or “I really need to organize my desk before starting that project.” Just say NO! Say no to procrastination because you are actually making distractions that aren’t there.
I’m not a bad person, but I am guilty of this as well, and every little crowd or family member, coming by for a visit, makes me want to take a nap. Lately, I grit my teeth and complete responsibilities whether the house is empty or full of people. If they’re ignored while I work, they should’ve known better. This is war, this is the push….let it happen…fight fight fight!
The struggle is redundant and disrespectful.
Another struggle of being a lazy person with a restless mind is dealing with criticism. I am a writer, and I know my job is real, and most other writers know my job is real.
To my family, my job may be semi-real. To them, I can stop working at any time and tend to their issues. They are lazy too, and this doesn’t help matters. They have seen me clean like a mad woman, scrubbing baseboards and rearranging cabinets. In their minds, I can stop and become Superwoman at the drop of a dime. Sigh….
I am lazy, and yet, I have the ability to get almost supernatural amounts of work done in a day. When motivated, I can complete projects, cook dinner and even play referee when my kids are fighting. But on other days, I am distracted by everything and sleepy at the same time.
The struggle becomes redundant when others fail to understand my mental strongholds and fail to recognize and respect my work. I have good days and bad, but to my family and friends, I am the same person, just with bad attitudes when I refuse to be Superwoman for them. So, which do I lack more, focus or understanding?
The struggle is mine.
The struggle is mine and mine alone. Despite the impact my issues have on others, it remains my demon. To have a restless mind, always searching, thinking and creating but with sometimes no will to carry out duties is heartwrenching. Some days I think about being stuck in this place and it makes me sob.
It’s like being in a body that cannot do what it wishes and dreams about every single day. It takes strength sometimes to get out of bed in the morning. This condition, and it is a condition, takes willpower to balance. In order to keep a happy medium between not wanting to be active, tackling your daily responsibilities and having too many goals in mind, you have to find balance.
The struggle is yours.
I’m not alone. There are thousands of people who struggle with this opposition, most being able to either find balance or supplement their lazy days with bionic-charged work fests. The only problem with this last resort is that it’s unhealthy. There is way too much stress involved in trying to make up for lost time. Balance is the winner here, accompanied by willpower and motivation.
Being a lazy person with a restless mind is not the end of the world. In fact, we are built for laziness, considering the way we walk is made to conserve as much energy as possible. It’s why we slow down while running and then walk instead. Is it natural for us to use the least amount of energy possible to complete our goals? It’s just something else to think about.
As for productivity, appreciate your good days and your accomplishments. The more you get done on those super-powered sessions, the more it will inspire you to improve your lazy days. Maybe, with a little opposition, a little push, you will be able to balance out your life in no time.
I’m working on it. I’m getting there. And I won’t give up!