In general, most of us have a type, that is to say, we look for potential partners with a certain list of characteristics.
These might be personality traits such as a sense of humour, kindness, loyalty and intelligence. Or they could be more shallow factors, for example, appearance or finances.
Whatever it is that we find attractive in another person, we often forget that this attraction works both ways. This is all very well when you’re dealing with perfectly functioning members of society, but what about psychopaths? Do they have a type? Is there a certain list of characteristics that attracts them against all others?
There are, in fact, many characteristics that psychopaths look for when they are choosing their next victim. Notice, I didn’t say partner, psychopaths don’t have partners, they don’t care about anyone but themselves and are incapable of love.
If you have ever wondered what psychopaths find attractive, here is a list of characteristics that will make you more of a target to a psychopath:
Psychopaths have no empathy, they are incapable of feeling any type of emotion, but this doesn’t mean they can’t recognise it and use it to their advantage. They actively search for people who are highly empathic because these people keep on trying to help, long after everyone has given up and walked away. The psychopath knows that this allows them the maximum time to get the most out of their victim.
Shy and retiring types are perfect fodder for the psychopath on the prowl for their next victim. They are looking for someone who won’t make a fuss with their unreasonable behaviour, who will put up with constant put downs, and won’t tell anyone about what is going on in the relationship. They also like to play games with these types of people, to see how far they can push them before they break.
Can two deviant personalities be attracted to each other? The answer is yes. The narcissist requires constant praise, they need validation on a daily basis.
The psychopath recognises this and uses it to their advantage. They love playing games with the narcissist until they become bored. Narcissists may look as if they have everything under control but underneath their façade, they are very fragile and hide behind a mask.
Someone who is co-dependent is a person who needs to be needed in a relationship in order to feel good about themselves. They have to be depended upon otherwise they feel inadequate, alone and useless.
The psychopath abuses this typically by gaslighting their co-dependent partner as they will constantly come up with excuses for the psychopath in order to appease their own needs.
Psychopaths don’t always want a pushover, they sometimes would like a worthy opponent, someone to call them out on their actions, to stand up to them once in a while. They like a battle of wits, as for so long they have been at the top of the pile and they are finding it boring with no opposition. What is the point of being the best if no one knows you are?
Now that you know the list of characteristics that a psychopath is looking out for, you can avoid sending out these signals. Or, as Dr. Robert Hare (the first psychologist to come up with a definite checklist for psychopathy) advises:
Psychopaths are skilled at detecting and ruthlessly exploiting your weak spots. Your best defense is to understand what these spots are, and to be extremely wary of anyone who zeroes in on them.”
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This Post Has 2 Comments
Amazing article. This is my life. All of the above said? How does one “escape”? I have to, I need to, but I just can’t and I don’t know why.
One reason as to why you cannot leave… maybe because you still love this person. Love is a strong bond. It’s also very scary to leave a relationship and start over. My only suggestion is to leave, leave now and don’t look back. Have no contact with him/her because they can suck you back into the relationship. Yes, it’s difficult, but it’s the only way. Wishing you all the best.