Some people thrive on social interactions and meeting new people. However, for introverts and empaths, getting to know new people can be quite draining. Here’s why.
While extroverts gain energy from meeting people and being sociable, introverts gain their energy from time spent alone. This is why introverts find meeting new people draining. In addition, empaths are very sensitive to other people’s moods and energy. Because they pick up on every nuance of behaviour they can also find socialising tiring.
Sometimes us introverts can feel like there is something wrong with us, but this is not true. Introverts are sociable and enjoy spending time with others. However, we need a balance between socialising and spending time alone to recharge.
Here are five reasons why meeting new people is draining for introverts and empaths, plus some ways to find balance and enjoy being an introvert or empath.
1. Introverts are very self-aware
Introverts spend a lot of time analysing their own actions. We live in our own heads quite a lot and are hyper-aware of the things we say and do and how they affect other people. This means that after a social situation, we can be very self-critical. We may spend hours fretting over every tiny thing we said or did.
In order to calm down after a social event, it can help to have a nice wind-down routine that distracts you from critically analysing the social event down to the minutest detail. Try having a relaxing bath or shower, listing to music or reading an uplifting book to distract you from over analysing your social performance.
2. Introverts can feel socially awkward
Some introverts can find it difficult to meet new people because they feel that they are not very socially adept. They may feel shy and awkward and not know what to say when they meet people for the first time.
It can help to have a few ideas for topics to talk about and questions to ask when you meet new people. Then, if your mind goes blank, you can refer to your planned questions and ideas in order to break the ice and relieve the awkward moment. Good topics include asking about people’s hobbies and interests or talking about a subject you have in common.
3. Empaths are very sensitive to other people’s moods
Empaths are hyper-sensitive to the moods and feelings of others. In a crowd, all this information can become quite overwhelming. In addition, if there are others in the room that are tense or upset, you can pick up these emotions and begin to feel tense and upset yourself.
Learning not to take on other people’s emotions is a skill that empaths should try to learn. If you start to feel uncomfortable, ask yourself if it is your own emotions you are feeling or if you have picked up the distress of another person. It might be difficult at first, but with practice, you will learn to separate your own emotions from those of others.
4. Introverts and empaths can feel lonely
When it is difficult to make connections with others this can lead to a sense of loneliness and isolation. It can feel like everyone else has loads of friends and that you have none.
In general, though, introverts thrive when they have a few close friends rather than many acquaintances. Once you accept this about yourself and stop trying to be the life and soul of the party, you will feel happier.
Try to find friends who share your interests and values rather than attempting to be part of a big crowd. Often it is easier for introverts and empaths to make friends by joining a group or class based on an interest they have. This can be much easier than making friends at a big party or event.
5. Introverts and Empaths need alone time
The most important thing to consider if you are an empath or introvert is that you need time alone. This is not optional, it is a vital part of your life. So make sure you allocate plenty of time in your week for quiet alone time to do whatever helps you to re-energize.
You may also prefer to spend time with close family and friends. Avoid accepting too many invitations to big events in the same week. This will allow you time to recover and re-energise.
It can be hard to say no to parties and events. You may fear that you are missing out on all the fun and will end up isolated and alone. But this is simply not true. You have to accept the kind of personality you have and be proud of who you are. Empaths and introverts have lots to offer the world and it is not necessary to be constantly socialising to be a successful and valued person.
We’d love to hear what makes you feel better as an introvert or empath. Please share your thought with us in the comments below.
Being an introvert I dislike large groups or parties. I like to socialize a little but find it draining. I gravitate to the kitchen, a quiet corner or make an excuse for some fresh air, so I can be on my own for a few minutes. That way I can get out of the atmosphere of so many emotions that drain my energy. I am friendly and like to chat to people but one to one is better for me.