What really happens when a narcissist realizes you’ve figured them out? Well, it can prove to be even more difficult to be around them.
The narcissist is a sticky creature, preying on your vulnerabilities and empathy. And you understand what I mean by “sticky” if you’ve ever dealt with one before. If a narcissist realizes you’ve figured them out, sometimes they become much worse and harder to get away from.
However, you must figure them out as soon as possible for your own sake, as the narcissist will slowly drain you of your light. You see, the narcissist has no natural light of their own, and so they require a steady emotional supply from others.
While most narcissists aren’t violent, they can do quite a bit of mental and emotional damage when left to their own devices. It’s important to remember your self-worth so that you are not manipulated into thinking negative things about yourself. Be careful when figuring out a narcissist, as they sometimes amp up their harmful behavior when outed.
Here are a few examples of what they might do in retaliation.
I believe that gaslighting is one of the narcissist’s favorite defenses when they’ve been found out. When confronted, they will immediately say things to make you question your reality. So, it’s important to stand firm and be sure of yourself when this happens.
Although it probably won’t stop them, it will ensure you do not fall for their tricks when they do this. Just pay attention to how they strategize gaslighting and understand that they will attack you where you are most vulnerable.
This is another favorite strategy of the narcissist. When a narcissist realizes you’ve figured them out, they will quickly play the victim. They love to do this in front of other people, or they sometimes contact others to tell them about what happened — of course, their story of what happened, which is false.
Any amount of rallying of others gives them the strength to continue their toxic behavior. I will warn you that some people will also believe them.
When you criticize a narcissist about anything, they automatically search for ways to project this critique back onto you. For instance, if you tell this toxic person that they are lazy, then they will remind you of everything you haven’t completed or done. They will overstate this information to make you look even worse. At least, this is their objective.
They are always searching for ways to place themselves on a higher level than you. After all, they need you to need them. And so, they need to appear perfect.
The narcissist will resort to something called “trauma bonding” when they fear you are getting too close to their grotesque truth. They do this in hopes that what you see isn’t as powerful as your history together. This move is actually, in ways, more evil than other forms of manipulation, as it insults healthy love and relationships.
But remember that no matter what kind of memories you have with this person, they are still toxic and using you. Many of those memories come from the initial love bombing, anyway.
While the narcissist may have insulted you directly on occasion, it will increase when they notice you’ve figured them out. They become frightened because now that you’ve figured them out, you will be stronger and might leave or cut ties. This terrifies them, so they resort to attacking your self-esteem.
But if you have healthy self-worth, you can brush off these insults. Just know that some insults may become nasty and make you feel horrible. You have to stay strong when this happens.
One of the last-ditch efforts of the narcissist, when you’ve figured them out, is to resort to blackmail. If they fear you will reveal the truth about them, they will threaten to share every secret you’ve ever shared. And you’d better brace yourself because they will embellish these secrets with more negative aspects to make you look even worse.
You have to be prepared for this. You must also understand that it’s possible that you lose friends because of their insidious behavior. Keep this in mind.
So, the narcissist realizes that you’ve figured them out—should you be afraid? Well, this is a natural concern, but don’t let them see your fear. Dealing with a narcissist reminds me of how they advise you to handle monsters in horror movies. They say,
“Don’t let them see your fear.”
This is true, as they feed off your fears and insecurities. You must stay confident and strong when dealing with this type of individual.
You can do it if you remember how powerful you are and how small and empty they are. The narcissist lost their true personality a long time ago, living like an empty vase.
Everyone they encounter is a potential chance to fill that vase again. It’s not a love story because as they fill up their own personalities from everyone they meet, they take life forces and leave heartache. They are honestly like energy vampires. So, be careful. I want the best for you.
And I believe in you, too.
