Toxic individuals must have a source of energy. This energy is called a narcissistic supply. If you’re a victim of a narcissist, you feed them with this energy.
There’s so much talk about toxic people and the spectrum of narcissism, but few discuss the source of energy for those with a narcissistic personality disorder. These individuals cannot survive without draining someone else of a bright and vivacious life.
How to recognize narcissistic supply
Healthy people can be turned into shells of their former selves when torn down by those with the narcissistic disorder. It’s discouraging and tragic to hear stories about these interactions, and it happens more often than you might think.
Let’s look at several signs of this supply that feeds the narcissist.
1. Foggy thinking
There seems to be no concentration during brain fog. This brain fog can be a sure sign that you’re being controlled by an outer source.
When you deal with questionable people or those who have obvious serious issues, you can become confused, unable to focus, and if you’re in a relationship, you can no longer understand the healthy aspects of the union. There is just no clear thought about much of anything.
Could it be that the passion that once had you dancing on cloud 9 is gone from your life? Yes, depression comes from many sources, some unknown, but depression can also be a narcissistic supply built by the toxic person themselves.
Over time, those with this disorder can tear down identities and steal them for their own, causing severe depression in the victim of the narcissist.
It usually starts with the toxic friend or relationship partner noticing you’re doing something you enjoy, and asking you to stop and spend time with them. Many times you relent and do this, so over time, you just stop doing the things you used to enjoy.
Depression is often born from this dynamic.
3. Falling into addictions
If someone is draining you mentally, you sometimes turn to one addiction or the other. It could be alcohol, drugs, or many other types of addictions that start to move into your life. You usually do this in the response to the narcissistic supply that’s being pulled from your being.
Giving in to addictions help you stay semi-sane, and give your life a fake meaning. Addictions are bad, but when you’re being abused in this manner, these addictions serve as a way to escape.
Notice those with addictions, and get to the root of the problem. It could be a toxic individual behind it all.
Another sign that you or someone you know could be a narcissistic supply is the presence of anxiety. Whether you’re having full-blown panic attacks or just on the edge all the time, it will be obvious that something is wrong.
Of course, the one with the narcissistic personality disorder will blame it all on your mental illness, and none of the damage to their abusive behavior. This is truly sad.
Those you know with anxiety should be scrutinized to see if there is a puppeteer behind them pulling the strings. You might be surprised by the truth you find.
5. Too giving
A toxic person will sense when a person has poor boundaries, and they will take advantage of this too. Usually, people with narcissistic personality disorder have a condition that is hidden from the public. They are able to weasel into many lives and leave these lives in shambles when they are gone.
For those kind souls who compromise a lot, the narcissist can feed off them until there’s almost nothing left. It’s always best to be kind and positive, but you better wake up to reality as well.
If you are too giving, or you know someone who is too giving, pay attention to their other halves, their partners, their friends. Could they be a narcissistic supply? If so, this has to be addressed and brought into the open.
6. A decreased self-esteem
If your self-esteem is suddenly dropping, you might not notice. But I bet you’d notice if a friend was suddenly talking bad about themselves. If so, you may have stumbled upon someone who is a narcissist’s supply.
After an empathic person enters a relationship with an individual with a narcissistic personality disorder, their self-esteem will gradually decline. It could be so subtle that no one notices for quite some time. Pay attention to this.
7. Gaslighting is always involved
A narcissist is notorious for switching their issues onto other people, especially their relationship partners. They can have you feeling crazy in no time. By the time you realize they’ve projected their severe issues onto you, your self-esteem and view of yourself will be much worse than it’s ever been.
While some people are strong enough to laugh off their attempts and retain their strength, so many are not. If you or someone you know is being gaslit into feeling crazy, this is a form of narcissistic supply.
Your craziness makes them look like the ones trying to keep things in order. It’s a sick and depraved action.
8. Triggered easy
When you are a narcissist’s supply, you are easily triggered. Many people, who’ve gone through childhood trauma or other disastrous circumstances have certain triggers.
With the victim of a toxic person, everything seems to be a trigger – every move, change, or plan that isn’t expected makes your heart race and sometimes causes panic attacks.
It’s as if you’ve been trained to react when your abuser mentions certain things. With this, you are supplying them with the boost they need, the substance to fill their emptiness, and the fulfillment of attention. Triggered people are often victims of this type of supply.
To the Toxic person, stop it already!
Listen, the narcissistic supply has been built over time. The person you thought was amazing and perfect has suddenly turned into a nightmare, and you feel trapped. They do and say anything to make you think you cannot dissolve the relationship. They are liars.
Let me be your strength today. For once, stand up and say NO! Then refuse their demands, remember who you are, and ignore their insults. You may notice a change in how fierce and scary they are.
People with narcissistic personality disorder thrive off making you feel intimidated. Practice standing up for yourself, and you will notice a change in them. They will no longer be giants, but slowly shrinking back down to human size, force to work on themselves and show their true colors.
Stop being a supply, help your friends with this too. Then you can truly enjoy your life.
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- 5 Signs You Are Not Being True to Yourself and Never Realized It - May 28, 2021
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