Why are you never happy for others? Well, believe it or not, it’s common to be envious. However, if you’re never truly happy for another person, there are underlying reasons.
Yes, we can be jealous sometimes of the success of friends and family. But is it really normal to never be happy for others? No, it’s not. Now, I’m not trying to judge you or bring you down. I just want to help you understand why some of us do this. Let’s examine this issue.
Why are we never happy with others?
Maybe you’ve noticed how uneasy you feel when someone in your family brings good news. And I am sure that later on, you may wonder why you felt this way. Am I correct?
Well, sometimes, you may feel inadequate and even compare yourself to someone else, and this is one root of never truly being happy for other people. Call it envy, call it whatever you wish, but make sure you get to know the actual reasons for this feeling. Here are a few of them.
1. Low self-esteem
Some people have a problem being happy for others because they are not happy about their own lives. Low self-esteem or self-worth can cause us to compare ourselves with everyone, even if we’re comparing our bad days with someone else’s good ones.
This particular action can cause severe feelings of inadequacy. Depression often comes with low self-esteem as well, hence you are never happy for others.
2. Severe envy
While envy isn’t necessarily a pathology, it can be the symptom of a personality disorder. Sometimes, it can just be envious feelings separate from any other symptoms.
However, envy can appear as hostile when you are in the presence of a friend or family member who has good news to share. While a small amount of envy can propel you to improve your life as a survival instinct, too much envy can do the opposite. This may be one reason why you are never happy for others.
3. Stuck in a negative cycle
Unrelated to envy or self-esteem, being stuck in a negative cycle may simply mean you cannot see the positive side of most things in life. Negative thinking can become your default mindset.
When this happens, not only is it difficult to feel happy for yourself, but it is almost impossible to be happy for friends or family. No amount of positive reinforcement will change this negative mindset from the outside. You are the only one who can turn this thought process around.
4. Intimidation
Sometimes the success of a person is intimidating. This intimidation makes it difficult for people to be happy for others and share the joy of certain events.
If you are intimidated, you are afraid that you cannot achieve these things for yourself. They may seem hard, or these achievements may come at a high price you’re not ready to pay. So, instead of being happy, you are shocked and feel small. You may try to change the subject in positive conversations about the event.
5. Resentment
Maybe you’re never happy for others because you resent them. Maybe you just resent their accomplishments because you’ve wasted loads of time in your life.
Hey, I’ve wasted years of my life in poor decision-making, and I’ve struggled at times to be happy for my friends. But you know what? That will only make you bitter. It is incredibly hard to celebrate the success of others when you remember all the chances you’ve taken for granted. If you’re not happy with yourself, you cannot be happy with others.
6. Selfishness
If it’s not about you, then you may not care. The happiness of others isn’t all that exciting if you are a selfish person. But this doesn’t have to be your life sentence. You can learn to be more selfless and congratulate friends and family when they accomplish great things.
If you’re selfish, you will grasp at many things trying to find fulfillment in life, when in truth, you miss out on shared happiness with the ones you love.
7. Narcissistic disorders
Similar to being selfish, having a narcissistic disorder causes you to never be happy for others. But, you see, selfishness is just one trait of narcissism. With a narcissistic personality disorder, there are many traits that prevent you from being happy for your loved ones.
Self-centeredness, deception, and many other toxic traits will have you constantly bringing the spotlight back to yourself. You’ll never really be happy for another as long as you do these things.
Is this you? Are you never happy for others?
Let’s be honest with ourselves, shall we? Are we really happy for others when they succeed? If so, then that’s wonderful, and we should be. Think about it this way: wouldn’t you want others to celebrate your accomplishments? And so, this is why we should celebrate their good deeds and awards as well.
It’s simple. To be good people, we should be kind and generous, and understand that the happiness of others is where true happiness dwells for us as well.
So, today, if you’re feeling kind of jealous or envious, think about what you would want to feel when you succeed. Do you want support from your friends? Wouldn’t you love to celebrate with loved ones?
Let’s make a habit of being happy for others, and then we will be truly fulfilled in life.
Featured image by benzoix on Freepik
My mother has been Stuck in a negative cycle for most of my life I’m now 49 years old (daughter) and really wish I could get through to her that she needs some help she doesn’t ever seem happy she’s been so negative all of my life. Im so sick of her put downs criticism, and holier then thou attitude I’m done. I guess I’m just wondering if there is any way of helping her see that SHES THE PROBLEM not every bodyelse ?
There is a possibility that your mother is bitter about many things from her past. When someone is hurt for an extended period, years or even decades, they stop trusting people, see life in a negative way and call it “just being real”, and become bitter. Life loses its color for them. I suppose the bitterness started before you were born, and this is deep-rooted. And it is difficult for someone who may see themselves as a perpetual victim to understand that they are “the problem”. you see. Professional help is often the best thing for this, as it will take some time for her to heal, for you to heal, and for her to do introspection.
She has to look in the mirror and truly remember who she is. This takes work and time.
what about being constantly happy for others, but no one reciprocating when you experience something that is a success or a happy event in your life?
move on, drop those people, find others, etc??
It is important to surround yourself with those who support you and notice your achievements if you need reinforcement. You can also find peace in knowing what you’ve done with your life and being happy for yourself. Sometimes, other’s done give you what you need, no, most of the time. We make our own happiness, here and there, and along the way…the journey. What they do for us is supposed to be extra. But that’s just what I think, only an opinion. 🙂 But, I do think boundaries are needed for those who do not reciprocate your encouragement unless you really want to praise them and be okay with praising yourself. It’s a tough decision. But first, ask yourself this, “What fulfills me? Is it what they think or do for me? Or, is it what I know about myself?