Do you know who you are? Yes, I’m sure you know your name, age, and many other things. But do you know your inner identity?

Knowing who you are and where you’re from is one thing, but understanding your identity apart from anyone else can be difficult. You may not realize this, but everyone you meet can leave impressions that, if you’re not careful, change certain parts of your basic character.

Later, you may hold onto these bits and pieces of influence and let them become a part of you. When this happens, you aren’t necessarily being true to yourself.

How do you know who you really are?

How can you tell if you really like the color red? You know, it’s possible that you’ve adapted someone else’s preference as your own without even know this. You could be watching sports when you really hate them or going to social events when you’d rather be fishing.

How can you tell if you’re being true the real you? Well, there are a couple of ways.

1. Living someone else’s life

The first indication is obvious. When you’re not being true to yourself, you’re being true to someone else’s goals, dreams, and desires. You’ve adapted the role that a parent outlined for you, or you’re doing the social things your spouse wants you to do, although you secretly detest these things.

Either way, the blueprint you’re following is not the one you created for yourself, and it doesn’t feel natural. Maybe you never really noticed that their ideas weren’t your own. You’re a copy of someone else or even multiple people.

2. You’re a people pleaser

Are you trying to make all people happy all the time? If so, then you’re what’s called a people pleaser. And honestly, it’s impossible to please everybody all the time like this. You will wear yourself down and damage your health trying to get approval from everyone.

One thing is for certain, you’re not being your true self, the one who has dreams. These dreams are not being fulfilled because you’re too busy saying yes and not learning how to say no. Being this way leads to a dead-end eventually and turns you into a shell of a person.

3. Worrying about what others say

You’re not being true to yourself if you are constantly worrying about what others say or think about you. Yes, to some degree, we should represent ourselves well, but not as far as sacrificing our basic beliefs or standards.

There comes a time when we must ignore what other people think altogether and follow our dreams.

4. You’re allowing too much pressure

When you’re being pulled in all directions and taking on too much work at one time, you’re not taking care of yourself. And there’s a reason many of us take on all those responsibilities. We try to display strength in quantity, not quality.

To others, we may seem like powerhouses, but we are secretly stressed from too much pressure. To be true to ourselves, we must pick and choose carefully the projects we work on and decide which ones aren’t worth our time.

5. Surrounded by toxic people

One major sign that you’re not being true to who you really are is that you’re always hanging around people who aren’t good for you. These are toxic people who drain your life energy and help mold you into a form of themselves.

This is the other side of living someone else’s life. If you are surrounded by the wrong people, there is a much higher chance of losing yourself and blending into the crowd.

Do you really know who you are?

Are you being true to yourself? Are you doing the things that make you happy and leave you fulfilled in life? Listen, if you’re living someone else’s life and supporting them all the time, you are nothing more than someone’s fan club.

If this is you, it’s time you took back your life and rediscovered your dreams and goals. And I know you can do this.


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the power of misfits

This Post Has 4 Comments

  1. Dianne Lininger

    Sometimes you’re blood related to toxic types & extricating yourself is difficult, if not downright impossible.

  2. Sherrie Hurd, A.A.

    Yes, In those cases it is difficult. I don’t have many immediate family members left. I have a brother and children (when it comes to blood-related). I do have cousins, but I find it pretty easy to stay away from them as they live over an hour away. It just depends on how many family members are around you and how physically close they are, I guess. Sometimes, unfortunately, a person has to do difficult things to save their mental health.

  3. Gary Jessup

    Can you write about the importance of balance in life.

    This article reads the only way to be happy is to be selfish and only worry about your self.

    The best way to know who you are is to take stock in gratitude and do something for others. Be a little selfless…especially when you are down or not sure who you are!

  4. Sherrie Hurd, A.A.

    Balance is important, no doubt.

    Your comment reminds me of when I got a divorce, moved out, and started doing things for myself. At a certain point, this girl I worked with walked up to me and said, “You’re so self-absorbed”. So, I get what you’re saying here. I went from being a beat-down housewife to being a diva who was full of herself. The weight shifted from one extreme to the other. I had no balance. You see, I know why this happened. I was finally free from domestic abuse, so I just went kind of wild and crazy, having fun, not considering others…etc.

    It takes time and practice to balance these extremes. So, yes, the post sounds selfish in places, but it is here to remind the downtrodden that they must get up and be proud of themselves. They must also remove toxic people or learn to deal with them without damaging their own self-esteem. My apologies, if the post sounded selfish because that’s not what I want to get across to you guys. Gratitude, thankfulness, kindness, love, and tolerance are important. But I tell you, if you’re not sure of who you are, be careful. Those toxic people out there prey on those who aren’t confident in themselves. Balance, yes. Discernment, also yes. You have to grow so much that you can do all these things in a balanced, yet intelligent manner, helping them, but saving you.

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