Everyone has different views on how to parent children. They have resulted in a variety of parenting styles.
There is no doubt that all parents want the best for their children, and do their utmost to raise them well. While their intentions are honorable, some parents may use methods that cause their children to become unbalanced mentally, emotionally and socially.
So, what is the relationship between improper parenting and poor behavior? What are the parenting styles you should avoid if you want to raise a healthy, intelligent child who has sound, well-balanced emotions? Also, what are some positive parenting styles you can adopt?
The Relationship Between Bad Parenting and Delinquent Behavior
There is a relationship between poor parenting and a child’s unwanted behavior.
The National Parenting Support Commission (NPSC) in Jamaica has found that ineffective parenting results in bad behavior. The data they collected on young people in the Kingston and St Andrews areas showed that parents who had ill-behaved children did not look after them. They failed to set up structures for their children and did not nurture them.
Another study in the Journal of Abnormal Child Psychology pointed out the relationship between negative parenting and delinquency. After analyzing 181 published studies, they found that poor behavior came about because of negative support. It included neglect, aggression, and rejection.
Many other studies show that some parenting traps may turn a child into a sociopath or a narcissist. Some kids do not behave soundly because their parents fail to set up boundaries or state consequences.
Also, they show such behaviors because their parents stand up for them even when they are in the wrong. What is also noteworthy is that parents did not teach sound moral values.
Five unhealthy parenting styles that create imbalanced children
The findings above may cause some parents to wonder what kinds of parenting styles they should avoid. They may bring about narcissistic and sociopathic behaviors.
1. Neglectful Parenting
First of all, are neglectful parents. Parents who are not involved in their children’s lives harm their development. That said, parents do not typically wish to leave their children aside.
If you suspect parents of neglect, consider if they look after their children’s needs. If they do not know the goings-on in their children’s’ lives or spend long hours away from home without caring for the child, they may need help to get back on track.
2. Hostile-Aggressive Parenting
Parents who make decisions or cause difficulties for their children use the hostile-aggressive form of parenting. Their decisions affect their well-being and create conflict between the children’s caregivers.
HAP is a dangerous form of child abuse. It impacts a child’s development in many ways. A child suffers emotional and psychological harm because of such parenting.
3. Overprotective Parenting
You will probably feel annoyed when you observe parents who make all decisions for their children and refuse to let them take part in any activity, even swinging in the playground. Such ‘helicopter parents,’ unfortunately, are on the rise.
Overprotective parents deprive their children of play, hoping to prevent accidents and other forms of ‘short-term’ stress. Doing so, however, may stop children from developing proper responses to them.
Children may not react well to swings because their parents have always taught avoidance.
Then, some parents put their kids on pedestals, no matter how flawed their behaviors are. Idealizing children’s behavior is unhealthy because it encourages narcissism.
They may become vain and think of themselves as a cut above others when they are not. Consequently, they may believe that putting others down is their right.
5. Permissive parenting
Those guilty of permissive parenting do not set boundaries for their children. They allow their kids to do as they please, and give them whatever they want. They seldom set rules or implement them inconsistently.
Also, their children have no self-control. Such parents are too willing to become their kids’ best friends. They do not set consequences for poor behavior.
Children may feel unsafe and unsure of themselves because they lack limits and structure. They may also indulge in juvenile behaviors like underage drinking.
What Αre Positive Parenting Styles?
So, what are positive parenting styles? The NPSC of Jamaica has the answers. It developed the National Risk Assessment Tool, aimed at assessing parenting styles and providing support to hassled parents. The assessment tool includes four elements of positive parenting.
First of all, parenting involves nurturing a child. Parents of toddlers should make it a point to read and sing to them because it builds language and mental skills. They should allow children to make sense of the world around them and teach acceptable behaviors.
Parents who bring up children positively will help them by teaching him or her to work through problems. They will also teach the child to make proper choices.
They should also build their children’s mental and language skills. Most importantly, they should talk to them about friendships and have appropriate involvement in their lives.
Furthermore, building frameworks are part of being a parent. Structures are the foundations of behavior and character development. They also keep a child safe.
Set up timetables for doing homework and play. Have a system of reasonable rules. Should children disobey them, have a set of consequences for their misbehavior.
Also, it’s important to praise a child at the right time. If he or she shows good behavior, a word of praise is necessary. It shores up self-esteem and reinforces the conduct.
Finally, parents should empower their children with cognitive, social, and motor skills. Empowerment is psychological as well. Children should have the ability to make sound decisions and choices.
5. Authoritative Parenting
Authoritative parenting is one of the best parenting styles because it has balance. Parents are firm about good behavior, yet supportive of a child’s activities.
While strict parents expect a lot from their children, they are there for their children when they are in need. A study found that Asian-American children of such parents had a higher than average GPA.
What, in conclusion, are the best parenting styles? It’s all about balance. Parents should not neglect or turn hostile towards children.
They should instead set up structures for proper behavior and empower children with language, social, and decision-making skills. They must also give them a sense of self-worth.
Remember the evergreen piece of advice all parents should keep in mind:
There are two gifts we should give our children: one is roots. And the other is wings.
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