Some people express themselves easily, others find it quite hard.

Then there are the people who can express their thoughts and opinions very well, but struggle to express their emotions. Everybody expresses things differently, but there are some things that everyone who struggles to express themselves can relate to:

1. People think you’re not a nice person

Or that you’re cold. Not being able to express emotion can mean you’re often stone-faced when others are crying, or you have very little facial expressions so people are afraid to approach you. Whatever the case may be, chances are you’re often perceived as cold or not a nice person simply because you can’t express yourself well.

2. People think you’re not intelligent

If you’re unable to express yourself and stay quiet, people can sometimes perceive this as you not having something to say.

Similarly, I can often communicate well in written form and portray my (somewhat) intelligence that way. However, when it comes to speaking out loud, I can’t get my point across and struggle to sound like I know what I’m talking about.

If you struggle to express yourself in the same way I do, you’ll be used to people assuming you aren’t intelligent.

3. People come to you to listen to their problems

As you may not be great at communicating your own thoughts and feelings, that makes you a perfect listener for others. You’re often the person that people go to when they need a shoulder to cry on or simply an ear to listen.

4. Relationships can suffer from your lack of emotions

Or, more correctly, the inability to express those emotions. You may have tons of emotions floating around inside of you, but you can’t get them out and express them to others, which may mean your relationships can suffer when you can’t communicate what you want or feel.

please be patient with me

Please be patient with me. Sometimes, when I’m quiet, it’s because I need to figure myself out. It’s not because I don’t want to talk. Sometimes, there are no words for my thoughts.


5. You struggle to say “I love you”

First saying “I love you” to somebody can be a massive struggle for you, but once you get over that hurdle, you’re able to say the words freely.

Saying you love somebody, or putting any kind of romantic feeling out there, makes you feel incredibly awkward. Not necessarily because you don’t actually feel it or you’re afraid of what the other person will say, but simply because you’re not good at expressing your feelings.

Do any of these sound like you? Can you relate? Let me know in the comments if you think any of these apply to you or somebody you know.

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This Post Has 8 Comments

  1. Mwaazi Simwinga

    I can actually relate to this…my family thinks I’m cold, while my friends say I shouldn’t get in over my head trying to explain things that I don’t understand.

  2. nick

    can relate with the most…or is it possible that there is too many stuff in my mind so i dont really have time for others…
    😉 love 🙂

  3. Heather

    I’m like you have just described (Well almost, except the “I love you” part since I say that to my boyfriend all the time.) I took almost four years of online classes in HIT and psychology because I hate being around other people in class discussions, but the discussions I took part in were incredible for me because I felt free to express myself, except when someone would try to argue with me then I would shut down for the rest of the semester (particularly in my second History class). I can write very beautifully, and with much thought but solving problems verbally for me is often tiresome, and I usually shut down and somehow leave the situation as quickly as possible before I explode. I have been reading a lot and researching enormously on this issue of mine. (How do you think I found this page?) Having taken psychology, I understand how important having good mental health is. When I have problems expressing myself, I get angry. I have anger problems as a result. It stems from my upbringing. In my family, it was never appropriate for me to express myself or talk out my emotions. I remember when I lost the spelling bee in 7th grade and I started crying in the back seat of the car and my mom angrily told me to “Shut up”. A very sad day for me. I don’t worry about whether people think I’m intelligent or not most of the time, but a lot of the time I feel awkward when I’m quiet even among people I know. I think sometimes it pisses people off when I’m quiet because they think that I think I’m better than them or something. So back to the anger part. As I’ve said, I get angry when I can’t express myself properly. Now, I’m going to actually check with an actual licensed psychiatrist about this, but I have good reason to believe that I could be passive-aggressive. It has to do with not wanting to be included in direct confrontation, and from what I’ve read, a psychiatrist can help with this. As a student of psychology, if you have issues expressing yourself, it could help you to see a psychiatrist. Just a recommendation. That’s what I’m going to do.

    1. Kristin Boyd

      I’m the same, I get so frustrated with myself for not being able to express myself properly and then unfortunately my friends probably think I’m angry at them. I tend to need time to figure it out first then talk to them about whatever the issue is. This is especially true with one friend in particular and it’s also very stressful. I owe her a big apology and explanation. Hopefully she can forgive me and try to understand where I’m coming from. I really need help in this area and I wonder if you were able to get the help you needed and are you better able to express yourself now at this point in time? I also had parents who shut me down so that I wasn’t able to express myself growing up and I believe this was a huge hindrance for me. I wonder also if you have any possible suggestions of self help books on thus subject? Thank you and I wish you all the best!

  4. Precious

    This is definitely me! Before i start an internship or before i meet anyone, i usually am perceived as super intelligent since my resume is actually quite impressive but after i’m done, it just seems as if i’m not so intelligent anymore. lol

    It’s actually quite depressing. no one knows those beautiful ideas you have in your head.

  5. Anonymous

    All the things you list are me…my mom said i am too cold and people always approach me to tell about their problems..i cant even say i love you to my mom or a happy birthday wish!

  6. Japheth John

    Everything written here is true about me. I can relate with every single statement and sometimes i feel like i don’t even deserve to be human hence the reactions of family and friends towards the person i have become.

  7. Ibraheem

    Was this post written for me? Honestly, I went through the title thinking this is just another hooks, but once I read it, OH MY GOD. I was shocked. There are OTHERS who feel this? I’m not the only one? Really? I’m beyond ecstatic right now. WOW.

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