People who have no filter are those who just speak exactly what they’re thinking. However, sharing your every thought doesn’t come without repercussions.
People who speak their minds have certain habits. Sometimes these habits are okay, and sometimes they’re annoying.
For instance, I recently told three guys from the bowling team exactly what they did wrong. The thing is, I didn’t say it smoothly, I simply stated exactly what I was thinking without sugar-coating anything.
While some people understand and appreciate stark honesty, others see it as insulting. My own son told me that I insulted them. So, you see how this can be a negative thing?
Habits of unfiltered people
Moving ahead, there are habits that people who have no filter exhibit on a regular basis. These habits are good and bad, a mixed bag, you might say. For some people, the habits are mostly irritating, and they must learn how to deal with the annoying behavior. Here are a few habits of unfiltered people.
1. They hide few things
When you have no filter, you are usually like an open book. You share everything about yourself even to the point of TMI (too much information).
While this shows your honesty, it can also be overwhelming to others. You even share details of yourself that have no bearing on anyone else or have any use for the topic or situation at hand.
2. They ruminate on past conversations
Since you have this unfiltered communication style, you also ruminate quite a bit. With the things you say, you later return to these spoken statements and roll them over in your head. You over-analyze and examine all the things you’ve said in your most recent conversation and wonder if you’ve said the right things.
The truth is, you know you have no filter, and this makes you constantly return to your communications and sift through them. This often leads to a negative conclusion about your past correspondences with family and friends.
3. They say ridiculous things
Since you don’t hold anything back, you say many funny or outrageous things. You see, not everything you talk about is serious or fact, as some conversations revolve around fantasies and fictional-based hobbies.
Your friends and family can count on you to be hilarious because you hold nothing back. If they want the best dark humor, they can count on you. If they want dirty jokes, you’ve got ‘em with no filter added. And when they want the truth in an unconventional way, you can give them that too.
Unfortunately, being ridiculous comes with a downside. Some people are offended.
4. They say too much at interviews
A problem, or habit, of those with no filter is that their answers to questions are too long. If you’re unfiltered and you go to a job interview, you’re going to share too much. Sometimes the key to acing a job interview is only saying what you must, and sometimes ‘dressing up’ the truth.
However, since you speak your mind, your truth will be raw, full of sometimes unwanted detail, and spiked with a little negative information. This can cause you that job you want so much.
5. They say inappropriate things
I’m just going to be completely honest with you because I have no filter. People who speak their mind often have a habit of spewing word vomit.
What this means is simple, you say some of the most inappropriate things to the wrong people or at the wrong time, or a combination of those things. For example, it’s awkward and strange if you speak aloud in a public place about your friend’s current hygiene situation.
Now, you know this is something you might help them address in private, and most of the time good friends appreciate this. It’s the same if you tell your teacher during class that their zipper isn’t closed. Unfiltered comments can get you into a load of trouble. It can even cause you to lose friends.
How to deal with people who have no filter
Now, I’m going to come from the other perspective because I know you want to understand how to deal with people like this. Right? Well, here are a few tips:
1. Appreciate the honest part
Always keep in mind that people with no filter are honest, and this part is the positive aspect. When you’re dealing with the negative areas, don’t forget this.
2. Remind them to hold back
Keep reminding your free-speaking friend that not everything needs to be discussed. There are some things better left unsaid when it comes to sharing information.
Although your friend or family member who says too much may not understand this, be consistent when reminding them. Try to remember each time they start talking away that it would be best to hold back a little.
3. Let them know about their conversational habits
When you notice unfiltered people going through dark times, talk to them about their conversational habits. Ask them if they’ve been thinking too much about things they’ve said or done.
Sometimes, if you know someone who is unfiltered is also analytical, it might be a clever idea to see if they’ve been tearing down past conversations, thus beating themselves up.
4. Distance yourself from them
When a friend or family member is saying silly things, and have been doing this for years, you may not have any luck changing that. If you can’t change it, you may have to put a bit of distance between the two of you if it’s a problem.
While some ridiculous things are okay when you’re alone with them, it’s not always okay when you’re in public. You can try talking to them, but ultimately, you must do what’s best for you.
5. Help them learn
Help your acquaintances understand the correct way to behave during interviews, meetings, and other serious situations. While their individual experiences with interviews may not affect you directly, it can cause problems down the line.
For instance, if you have a roommate who’s lost a job and is trying to find another one, if they bomb interviews, they cannot pay the rent. Do you see where I am going with this? In this situation, you will have to make a choice: hang in there and be patient or ask them to move out.
6. Talk to them about their inappropriate remarks
When it comes to inappropriate things, this can be a genuine problem as well. If you’re the victim of inappropriate statements in public, then you must talk to your friend.
Also, you must be strong enough to take the honest comments in stride. Yes, you may have dropped a bit of sauce on your shirt, but this doesn’t mean you’re messy.
Don’t take the things your unfiltered friend or loved one says too seriously, but indeed, look at it objectively. If you need to improve something, do so, and then let them know it was not the time or place to announce such things.
Note: Sometimes people with ADHD or autism speak uninhibitedly in front of others. This is a different situation. People who have these differences sometimes cannot control their stark honesty, and you must take this into consideration. Dealing with people who have autism or ADHD may take support from others.
Again, people who have no filter aren’t just plagued with unpleasant habits. There are many positive takeaways from this characteristic. One of the best ways to deal with situations like this is to appreciate all the good aspects while working on the less savory ones. I wish you luck in this area.
Have a great one!
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This Post Has 5 Comments
I really enjoy reading this. Thanks for mentioning the hole adhd and autsim thing. I’m not gonna use it as an excuse but it helps to know that I’m not entirely doing it on purpose. If you haven’t you should right something on that subject I would love to read that.
Thank you for reading. This may be a good idea. I will run the topic by Anna and see what she says.
I hear many refer to their speaking their mind as speaking the truth. Just because they say whatever they think, doesn’t make it ‘the truth.’ Speaking without thinking doesn’t mean you have some great insight or wisdom. It’s more like diarrhea, of unprocessed thoughts.
It would be really great if you could point me to any other reading on this, I sometimes feel so unprofessional at work, and have lost friends in the past. I have never been diagnosed with anything (not that I have ever asked to be), but I wonder what neurological conditions having no filter may be attributed to. thanks
Terrific and helpful article. I have a few people close to me with this “trait.” I gotta say it’s often an issue with family and friends. They don’t want these people at gatherings and likely won’t come or will cancel if they learn that any of these people will be there. I’ve talked with them over and again about just saying what they think immediately without at least “checking” the words they use to convey their thoughts. [Keeping it real] doesn’t mean that they have to be crass, most esp when no one is heated and all are having a good time. It’s really exhausting because they think that they’re being picked on and that everyone else is too sensitive or even controlling. Many times I just can’t with it, and I’m told that I’m the one being impatient. Yet, they’re the ones being avoided and have few to no friends. It’s sad.