One of the most important things you will ever learn in life is how to protect your dreams and self-esteem. Because the truth is, there will be plenty of people with the ability to destroy them. Unfortunately, it can be difficult to pinpoint who those people are, sometimes, until it’s too late.
People who kill your dreams and self-esteem
Yes, some stand between you and your best future plans. And when you discover who they are, it might surprise you. No, it’s usually not your obvious enemies or old schoolmates. Most of the time, it’s your friends, your partner, or even your close family members.
Here are indicators of the types of people you should look out for.
1. Haters
Pay attention to anyone who downplays your successes. For example, if something good happens to you, your friend or family member will remind you of your flaws.
This is because they feel threatened by your healthy self-esteem and ability to do good things. Instead of learning from the success of others, they’d rather bring others down so they don’t feel so bad about themselves.
2. Stonewallers
There are those who, no matter how much you want them to understand where you’re coming from, refuse to listen. If your dreams don’t match theirs, they have no interest. In fact, they will absolutely turn a cold shoulder to any suggestions you give that don’t match their own.
These people, if you stay around them, will slowly ruin your self-esteem. Because they turn their backs on you so much and refuse to communicate, you feel like your feelings don’t matter. Do you know people like this?
3. Uneducated critics
Some can give constructive criticism that makes sense. It will be advice coming from a place of knowledge and wisdom. But then you have those who will criticize you and have no idea what they’re talking about. These are uneducated critics. You can be excited about writing a book, and yet, your spouse may tell you all the things you’re doing wrong.
The ridiculous part of this is that your spouse isn’t a good writer. They have terrible grammar and really spend little time writing in the first place. So, how would they know anything about writing a book?
There are uneducated critics in all walks of life. These are people telling you how to better do things that you’ve done your whole life.
4. Negativity
There are those people who tend to be negative about almost everything. They will also latch onto your dreams and drive them into the ground. Negative people have a knack for finding something wrong in success, and it doesn’t matter how obviously positive all aspects of the success seem to be.
Somewhere, they will find a tiny negative issue that can completely turn your dreams into something that feels unattainable. I bet many of you have someone in your life like this. Not only will they kill your dreams, but they will also infect you with their negativity as well, lowering your self-esteem to match their own.
5. Conformers
Some people are so used to being like everybody else that they see people with big dreams as weird or unintelligent. These people, who tend to do things in much the same way as the other, will try to instill fear into you when they notice you’re different.
So, they see you chasing a risky dream, and they also notice that your self-esteem is high, yes, this means they feel the need to intervene and bring you back into the fold.
Don’t let them. Although conformers may not be trying to purposely hurt your self-esteem, they will. It’s okay to stand out from the crowd. Just remember this.
6. Never serious
Do you have friends who seem to always want to go bar hopping? Well, they can also kill your dreams. Yes, it’s good to step back and take a break, maybe even go out with friends and celebrate small successes.
But if you cannot be serious sometimes, you’ll fall into a routine of distractions. While this might not affect your self-esteem at first, after a while, as you notice how much time you’ve wasted, you’ll definitely start to feel bad about yourself. Be careful with these individuals.
7. Conversation hogs
I must admit that this has been me for so many years. And it’s not because I meant to disrupt any dreams or hurt the self-esteem of others. I believe I just talked so much because I needed desperate help to understand myself. But you must be careful, and you must watch out for people like myself.
Even if they mean well, a conversation hog can make you feel like your dreams and ideas don’t matter, especially if you cannot get a word in edgewise.
If you are close friends with someone who hogs conversations, try to let them know in a kind way that they are doing this. If they don’t want to listen, then maybe some time away from them would be best. And yes, I’m working on listening more often.
Don’t let anything destroy your dreams
Your self-worth and the fulfillment of your life’s purpose are important. Your relationship with others, although important as well, must come second. You cannot let anything or anyone come between what was meant for you.
So stand tall and stay focused. Learn to recognize things that are negative and distracting. When you know how to do this, you can navigate your way around these obstacles, moving closer to your dream.
This describes my entire family.
Philiscious,
Families are interesting. They have so many layers, both good and bad. I am sorry for the negativity in this area. I hope things get much better, and you receive more support.