In life, it seems, we’re forced into socializing with people we don’t get along with. Whether it’s at school or work, or maybe with a neighbor or a mutual friend, sometimes, we just have a personality clash with other people.
It’s not that you outright dislike this person (though sometimes it could be). It’s often more that you don’t see eye to eye. When personalities clash, it’s usually because your views, opinions or behaviors just don’t line up.
This can be tricky to navigate when you’re stuck with this person, but it’s not impossible to handle. With a little forgiveness, understanding, and kindness, you can get along just fine even with a clash of personalities.
It can be hard to tell if you have a justifiable personality clash, or if you just don’t like a person.
If you know the difference between the two, you could save a whole lot of energy and maybe even a friendship.
Your “Verts” Clash
The “verts” are categories we put ourselves and others in, based on our personalities. There are generally three types:
- Introvert – a person who likes their own company, ponders their own thoughts and can tire quickly in social situations. They are stereotypically quiet and even lack confidence.
- Extrovert – a person who thrives in the company of others, enjoys sharing and caring for others. They are typically loud and confident.
- Ambivert – a little mix of both.
With such wide-ranging personalities as an introvert and extrovert might have, it’s no wonder these two personalities clash.
At work or in school, or any situation where you’re thrust into interactions with people you haven’t chosen, you’ll probably meet people of different “verts” to you.
As an introverted soul, you might find yourself feeling unsure of someone for being too loud. They’ve done nothing wrong though, your personalities just collide. On the other hand, extroverts might find introverted people strange, as they would rather be quiet and alone, which can come across as pretentious, or just plain weird. Again, there’s no one at fault here. You just have a personality clash.
Handling this one is fairly straight forward. Simply, be considerate. If you’re an extrovert, you could try to level yourself out when you sense a clash coming on.
As an introvert, consider telling your louder friends about your needs. You could also consider pushing yourself out of your comfort zone and tolerating more so you can cope with each other better.
You Clash with the Way They Treat Others
When it comes to the treatment of others, some of us can be pretty opinionated. For example, imagine a colleague welcoming a young new employee. How you would treat them may not be the same way that your work colleague does. It wouldn’t be uncommon to find yourself clashing with them over being too hard on them too early, or not being hard enough. It’s all based on opinion.
We often feel frustrated with others because they aren’t showing enough respect to someone or they’re being too soft on those who don’t deserve it. If you’re irritated by the way they interact with others, you probably have a personality clash.
This can be resolved with good communication. Explaining what you don’t like and discussing what you’d like to be altered. If you aren’t in a position to open up about these matters, maybe it’s your boss or just someone you don’t know all that well, you may have to work on rising above it.
Sometimes you can’t fix everything. If possible, you could be the change you want to see. Be nicer to those who deserve it and more constructive for those who need it.
Your Values and Morals Clash
In our modern society, we’re mostly free to be exactly as we want to be. We live (somewhat) happily amongst people with all sorts of differing views and opinions to our own. We even live, work and socialize with people whose life values and morals are completely different from ours.
It’s not too difficult to understand why a person of conservative values might have a personality clash with someone whose values are more liberal. While #freethenipple might be a lifestyle to one, skirts that cover the ankles might be important to another. Fortunately, if neither’s views are harming others then these two types of people will have a harmless personality clash.
To handle this scenario, you must be respectful of the other’s wishes. Everyone is allowed to govern their own body, their own wardrobe and their own choices. If you don’t agree with a person’s choices, that’s okay. As hard as it might be, if they aren’t hurting anyone, you have to leave them to it.
You have to accept everyone’s differences, in the knowledge that you wouldn’t want others telling you who or what to be either.
Your Work Ethics Clash
Sometimes, people just don’t work well together. Think about all those group projects you had to do as a kid. There was always someone who did nothing or took over the whole project. Those people, I’m sure, are still good people, but their work ethics clash with ours.
There are few things more frustrating than trying to work with someone who’s work ethic is different from your own. Try communicating more clearly what you would like from their work and meet them in the middle, considering their needs too.
It is possible for personality clashes to still work together successfully, it’s all about communication.
Your Political Views Clash
One of the most divisive factors in our personalities is our political alliance. It can be difficult to handle socializing with or working alongside someone with opposing views to our own. Political views tend to be the basis of so many personality clashes.
The best way to handle this is to weigh up how much it impacts their personality. If it is something that you can’t get over, then you simply have to get through. Be civil, for the sake of your sanity and everyone around you.
In most cases, being kind, civil and understanding is the only way to handle a clash.
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