The phrases mean people use may be a bit different from things narcissists say. This is because, while being manipulative is mean, not every mean-spirited person uses manipulation.
Mean people use many phrases to either purposely hurt or simply avoid others. These sayings can be singular insults or complete sentences degrading character. While some find it fairly easy to brush off the mean words, others may experience great turmoil from the words that are said to them.
Things mean people say
I am sure you’re wondering, as you’ve pondered for quite some time, why people are mean in the first place. Well, there are several reasons:
- People may use meanness to gain control; useful to them to retain the power dynamic.
- Mean behavior may be a reflection of something else in their lives where they are unhappy.
- Meanness can come from the inability to regulate emotions.
There could be other reasons why mean people do the things they do. These are just three known reasons why. And you may never truly understand the truth behind their words and actions.
But if you want to recognize this character and decipher whether they are acting out of pure meanness, then consider these common phrases.
1. “You think you’re perfect”
Hear me out. While this may sound like someone who’s been victimized by toxic behavior, pause and read that again. Has anyone ever said that to you when you simply provided a little criticism? Maybe they said this,
“You think you’re a saint”.
A mean person, for whatever reason, cannot stand to be told that they’ve done someone wrong because they are already unhappy with themselves. So, in a desperate attempt to bolster their self-esteem, they will deflect this uncomfortable feeling onto you.
2. “Not my problem”
While I do not think it’s kind to put all your problems on the shoulders of others, it’s also not kind to push people away. There are ways to set boundaries without coming off as mean. Saying, “Not my problem” is just harsh and could be worded a bit better for consideration.
Mean people, however, truly do not care about what you’re going through and will say this to you at times. These words can create social isolation, making a person feel like people who should care about them do not value their worth.
3. “It’s all in your head”
When something bothers you, instead of sympathizing with the issues, a mean person will deny there is a problem at all.
Either they don’t care at all about what you’re going through or they just don’t wish to spend time helping you or giving any constructive advice. They are being flippant and saying that the things that bother you are imaginary. Basically, you should get over it and move on.
4. “You’re so antisocial”
I’ve been called antisocial so many times in my life and then pushed to partake in countless social activities as if something was wrong with me. This is both toxic and mean behavior.
First of all, true antisocial behavior is indicative of sociopathy or psychopathy, not introversion, in case you’re wondering. It’s not appropriate to call someone antisocial. It’s incredibly mean to call other people who appear to be introverts antisocial because introverts are just social in different ways. Guess we learn something new every day.
5. “You’re such a drama queen”
How often have you heard this phrase thrown around the office or at social events? Maybe you’ve even seen countless social media posts with pictures of people in dramatic situations.
Saying someone is being a drama queen has become a disturbingly common occurrence. But it could be downplaying possible mental trauma. Mean people do not care about the feelings of others, even to the point of finding these feelings comical. Sometimes, however, the appearance of drama can signal serious distress.
6. “I only have problems with you”
When someone says that you are the only person they don’t get along with, they’re singling you out. It’s an insult, but it makes you feel responsible for the negative way they feel.
In truth, it’s possible that they’re experiencing issues with many other people, but don’t want you to know that. Instead, they’d rather shift the blame. This is mean and degrading.
7. “I’m just being brutally honest”
Want to know how a mean person makes their cruel phrases sound better? They usually disguise them by saying,
“I’m just telling you the truth”.
While it is okay to be honest with people even when it’s not always cheerful news, it’s not okay to use “honesty” to veil mean and harmful words.
The phrases mean people use can be damaging
While you don’t want to let toxic words take root in your mind, it is wise to limit your time around mean people. Considering most of their actions come from negative sources outside of your relationship, remember that the phrases are no reflection of your worth.
When you hear these mean phrases, don’t let them define you, rather, let them make you stronger. You know your character and whether these words have any relevance to your life.
Pay close attention to the way people talk to you and weed out the mean ones. Properly delegate these individuals to areas of your life or outside of your life to make it healthier. It’s okay to cut ties if you need to.
~Be blessed~
