Can a man and a woman be good friends without sex becoming an issue? Is it possible that friends of the same sex can have the same deep and meaningful connection that intimate couples have? If you are saying, “yes, of course, they can”, it’s likely that you have a platonic soulmate.

What Is a Platonic Soulmate?

The word platonic derives from the Greek philosopher Plato. Plato believed that it is possible to love another person deeply without having a physical attraction.

“According to Greek mythology, humans were originally created with four arms, four legs and a head with two faces. Fearing their power, Zeus split them into two separate parts, condemning them to spend their lives in search of their other halves.”


If this is true, can you imagine what it must be like to then meet your other half in the form of another person?

“…and when one of them meets the other half, the actual half of himself… the pair are lost in an amazement of love and friendship and intimacy…”


Platonic Soulmate Definition

A platonic soulmate is that special, once-in-a-lifetime kind of friend that encompasses everything you’d want in a best friend, and more, simply because they are your other half.

Platonic soulmates are the people you can tell anything to and they don’t judge you. They are there for you no matter what the situation.

“Platonic soulmates are a very long term, solid, trusting and very satisfying relationship. There are three things people want in a relationship:

One, passion (which includes sex and lust); two, intimacy and three, commitment. It is the second two, intimacy and commitment that a platonic soulmate offers us.”

-Clinical psychologist Meredith Fullers

You can always count on a platonic soulmate because you trust them implicitly. There’s no doubt in your mind that they’ll step forward for you.

But platonic soulmates are not just about being there in the bad times. You have your best fun with them too. Why? Because you can be yourself around them. There’s no façade when you hang out with your platonic soulmate.

You usually find one another through a shared sense of the same humour. You might have a friend who has recently broken up with their boyfriend and you become friends with the ex-boyfriend because you get on so well with each other.

Or you may be introduced to a friend of a friend and you discover that you just click when you’re together.

Platonic soulmates seem to meet by chance, but if you look deeper, there is usually some kind of engineering that has taken place for the two of you to cross paths.

So by now, you might be wondering, “Do I have a platonic soulmate in my life?” If you’re still not sure, here are 10 signs of a platonic soulmate:

10 Signs of a Platonic Soulmate

  1. You can be yourself around them

No matter what the emotion, whether it’s happiness, goofing around, grief or despair, you can show all of it when you’re with your platonic soulmate.

You know that they’ll share in your happiness without feeling jealous. They’ll laugh at your goofy behaviour and join in. When you are sad their concern will stabilise and support you.

  1. You feel an invisible attachment to them

There are certain people that we might not see for weeks or months, but we feel this incredibly strong attachment to them regardless.

It’s like an invisible thread that binds us subconsciously. We know they are always there, in the background, and that is immensely comforting. We are always connected to them, no matter how far apart we are.

  1. They give you energy when you’re with them

Platonic soulmates are the opposite of energy vampires. You know the kind of people I’m talking about; the ones that suck all the joy out of life. They drain your energy and leave you feeling conflicted, irritated, and even anxious.

It’s different with your platonic soulmate. After spending time with them you feel excited, buoyed up by life, ready to take on the world.

  1. You have your own language

I don’t mean that you have invented a new language that only the pair of you speak. I’m talking about familiar references that you both use, ones that you instantly know.

For example, you might love the same films and repeat lines from them to one another. Or you may like the same comedian and text their jokes to each other. Whatever your special language, it reflects your personality and it is shared only by you two.

  1. You never run out of things to say

It doesn’t matter whether it has been a day or a few months, with platonic soulmates, you always have something to say. And you don’t mind if one day the topic is all about the other person because you know next time around it will be your turn.

  1. But you are comfortable with silence too

Having a friend that is a platonic soulmate means you don’t find silences awkward. You never feel as if you have to fill in the silence with small talk. In fact, you feel comfortable in the quiet. It soothes you, it never worries you.

  1. You act like an old married couple

Has anyone ever said that the pair of you are like an old married couple? That’s down to the ease of how you behave with each other. It might also be due to the fact you have silly disagreements at times, or that you finish each other’s sentences, or that you seem to know one another so well.

  1. People wonder why you are not a couple

Have your friends ever asked you why the two of you have never dated? It’s an easy question to answer – you don’t find each other attractive in that way. You are more like brother and sister, or you feel like they are family. The sexual element doesn’t come into your relationship. In fact, it makes you feel a bit icky.

  1. You share the same passions

We naturally gravitate to those how are similar to us. But platonic friendships are deeper and more meaningful.

So as well as sharing the same goals, ideals, and morals, you also share the same passion. It might be something like sci-fi movies, cycling, true crime, or even quantum physics. Whatever it is, it strengthens your bond.

  1. You accept their irritating habits

I have a friend that likes to repeat what he says a few times. It means that phone conversations usually take four times as long with him. But because I’ve known him for decades and he is such an important part of my life and I love him dearly, I put up with it.

And I’m sure he’d say something about my irritating habits too.

Final Thoughts

Platonic soulmates are more than best friends, they are the human equivalent of a missing jigsaw piece. When you find yours it feels natural and comfortable, like it’s meant to be.

If you are lucky enough to have a platonic soulmate, what are the signs you’ve noticed?



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