If you read too much, it’s time to stop.
For those of you out there who feel reading is a harmless and safe pastime, with absolutely no conceivable cons to the pros, I am here to burst your bubble and tell you how very mistaken you are. It is, in fact, one of the most hazardous and dangerous hobbies… if not the most. Bungee jumping and mountain climbing have nothing over this bad boy.
But how can that be, you ask? Surely I would have known? Or had some idea?
Well, it may be due to the fact that those who learned the truth probably did not survive the perils to tell the tale. Or maybe, they are far too distraught to be able to form words, let alone convince you.
Don’t let yourself become one of those unfortunate souls. Below is a list of the top ten (of the countless many) dangers that threaten you when you read too much. What you choose to do with this valuable information is of course entirely up to you. You have been warned, my friend.
1. You will make poor financial decisions
This type of mental battle is very common among book lovers. Why have that pair of snazzy shoes you spotted on your way home when you can pay the same amount for a couple (ok, maybe three or four) of the next books in your series collection? Oh and don’t worry about spending on more clothes, I mean who needs more than one pair of jeans or shirt anyway?
2. You will become infatuated with not so real places and people
Why can’t you find a man remotely as romantic as Mr. Darcy? Or even a fraction as intelligent as Robert Langdon? And why is it seemingly impossible to find Bag End or the Yellow Brick Road? Well, you see, it’s because they don’t exist. Darn real life…
3. Your life priorities will change
Should you buy the eBook or the hard copy? The softback or the hardback? Stay in and read or be dragged out to do that icky socialising thing? How many belongings do you throw out to make more space for your books? Buy more chic bookmarks or continue using scrap pieces of paper? And how can you possibly pick which book to read next?
The struggle is real. Do not underestimate it.
4. You will actually start becoming aware and passionate about bigger issues
Once upon a time, you didn’t have much to say about politics, economics, sexism, war, pixie dust, or dwarfs’ rights. Now, one could hardly keep up with you.
5. All of your friends and loved ones will leave you
That’s right; you will lose many people on this path. It could be at the hands of Voldemort, a death match, or quite possibly an evil curse. Let us not forget the real life folks too –the lack of time and attention will sadly be their end. I mean let’s face it, when push comes to shove a true bookworm will choose the book over that silly date or party any day.
6. Sleep? What is that?
“I’ll just read until the end of the chapter.” Says everyone. Stop at the end of the chapter, does no one. It’s almost as if the books are enchanted with a spell to glue your hands to it, so it’s not like it’s your fault. And besides, even if you do manage to rip it out of your hands, it will instead cling to your mind and decisively lurk around there until the wee hours of the morning. Might as well give up resisting and continue reading, eh?
7. When you read too much, you put your health and wellbeing in danger
Let’s face it, books are incredibly hazardous. Just imagine how many papercuts you could get. Or how badly you could trip and fall over the piles of books scattered across your floor. Well, let’s say you are organised and pile the books, or shelf them. I still wouldn’t trust them; they could fall any second and give you a concussion or amnesia. Would you want to risk that?
Oh, and why spend precious time cooking a meal when you can buy cheap, greasy takeout and spend more time reading? Better yet, why bother wasting even that much time on food and skip it altogether?
8. Suddenly you need a bigger place
A home library wouldn’t do justice to your marvellous collection – it simply wouldn’t. You can’t possibly fit all your books there! And that doesn’t even count the TBR ones. Well, it’s a shame you don’t have one, you remind yourself. It looks like your precious books will have to stay on your bed, the bathroom floor and in the kitchen cupboards… anywhere you can fit them for now.
9. You will start thinking
Trust me – you don’t want to be doing that. It leads to other bothersome things that just take you further away from your books. It’s not worth the headache!
10. Suddenly you find yourself actually having opinions
Oh, no. Don’t fall into this trap. Don’ read too much! Opinions are one of those troublesome things that nobody wants you to have – and for good reason. Where will it ever get you? All it does is make you your own person, widen your perspective and give you a more open mind. Who wants that stuff, anyway?
Now that you know all these serious dangers of reading, what do you think? Will you continue to read too much? :D Share your thoughts in the comments below!
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