What is it about resilient people that makes them able to handle any adversity? What can we learn from them to become resilient ourselves?

Some may say that the key to success in life is the ability to be resilient. There are many other great attributes that make up a well-rounded person, but resiliency may surpass them all. Life throws so much at us and the resilient person can take it in stride and not crumble under the pressure and setback.

This article will look at what traits resilient people have and how you can cultivate them to enhance your own life.

What Does True Resilience Look Like?

It’s hard not to look at the future in a positive mindset. There is no harm in doing this, but the problem is that you can expect all your ideas to come to fruition. In a perfect world, everything would go smoothly all the time. But we all know this is not the case. We hope and dream for a multitude of blessings and fortune – but we don’t anticipate the negatives in quite the same way.

When the challenges of life hit, some of us are better equipped to handle them than others. Resilient people can swim instead of sink, bend instead of break, and persevere instead of crumble. The best way to look at what true resilience is is to recognize it as inner strength. It’s the ability to bounce back from life’s inevitable disappointments, failures, and pains.

A good way to look at this is like the shock absorbers on a car. If you were to ride in a car without shock absorbers, you would feel all the bumps and holes as you drive. Every ride would be a miserable experience. Resilience is like putting shock absorbers on a car to help absorb and create a more comfortable ride.

The good news is that this inner strength can be learned – just like any other skill. It takes some practice – but it is achievable, and that means looking at the traits of resilient people. This way, we may be able to cultivate them to create our own inner strength.

So what are some of these traits that you should look to replicate in your own life?

Let’s look at 6 traits of resilient people:

1. Resilient People Recognize That They Can’t Change Things

There are many small things that are completely in our control; you can enjoy your favorite entertainment, choose who you spend your time with, or pursue your favorite hobbies. This can add to your life tremendously, but what about the big things that are out of your control?

This is one of the biggest traits of resilient people. They understand that a large majority of the things that happen in their life they have no control over. They don’t ignore the hardships and setbacks but realize they are happening out of their control.

This allows for a sense of peace and the ability to deal with them sooner. The person who blames the situation and tries to control it is only in for frustration, anxiety, and hopelessness. The longer they spend time thinking they can change things out of their control, the longer it takes to finally move past it.

The resilient person can recognize what is out of their hands, not spend long dwelling on it, and not allow it to defeat them. Accepting that you cannot control everything is actually a way to take control of your life.

2. Resilient People Are Not Fragile

Fragility may be the opposite of resiliency. Fragility means that everything upsets you. From big world events, down to small trivial matters, everything can upset and derail you. With so many things upsetting you, you end up spending a lot of your time feeling angry, hurt, and pessimistic.

Resilient people can combat this fragility. This is not to mean they aren’t sensitive, or experience negative emotions, it just means they can combat them. They are more able to acknowledge things that may upset them but not allow them to take them down.

It’s important to point out that any huge life-crushing situation will set back any individual – no matter how resilient. What we’re talking about here when we refer to fragility are the day-to-day issues that can upset you and prevent you from happiness. Resilient people recognize the things that upset them, but that’s as far as they let it go.

3. They Have a Good Perspective

Change Your Opinion about Yourself

People who are resilient can step back and assess their situation with as much objectivity as they can. They can investigate the situation and ask questions like:

  • “How bad is this problem?”
  • “Have I overstated it?”
  • “Am I giving this situation an unnecessary amount of attention?”

Resilient people can see their own lives from the perspective of others. Often, we become so self-absorbed that we can’t see the situation for what it truly is. When the smallest thing feels like the end of the world, it’s important to take a step back and try to look at it from an outsider. It’s easy to do this when you’re analyzing another person and you need to do this with yourself in order to build resiliency.

4. A Person Who Is Resilient Asks This One Big Question:

It’s a simple approach, but asking yourself, “What’s the worse that can happen?” is a very powerful thing. In most cases, the worst thing that could happen isn’t really that bad. Most of the time, it’s not even that likely to happen. A good quote to sum this up is:

“Today is the tomorrow you worried about yesterday”

Things seem their worst because of anticipation. When you end up getting to those real scenarios, they often aren’t as bad as how you built it up in your mind. And, again, not even likely to happen in the first place.

5. Resilient People Keep Good Company

We often hear that we are the average of the 5 people we spend the most time with. Resilient people make sure that the people they spend their time with only add to their life. If you’re surrounded by negative and pessimistic people, this will rub off on you.

To become more resilient, it may mean eliminating certain people from your life or spending less time with others. Resilience can be infectious, and the best way to adopt this is to be around others from whom you can cultivate it.

6. They Take Care Of Themselves

This may seem obvious, but it is often overlooked. Resilient people know that they have boundaries and limitations. They don’t allow themselves to push it too far, and they know when enough is enough, and they practice various forms of self-care.

Resilient people do everything they can to be at their best. This means adhering to things like exercise and proper nutrition. They get adequate sleep and don’t try to burn the candle at both ends. Choosing to live this way will only cause you to burn out, which is the opposite intention we should strive for.

You can’t be resilient if you are exhausted, weak, and not properly nourished. So start to get those things in order and they will naturally help to build up your inner strength. Self-care helps build resiliency as it requires discipline and dedication, both of which build that inner strength.

Final Thoughts

In the same way you couldn’t run a marathon without training, you can’t build resiliency overnight. The first step is to recognize the traits of resilient people and look to copy them. By observing some of their traits like the ability to keep a good perspective, ask the right questions, and combat fragility, you can become resilient in your own way.

This is a skill that takes some inward analysis, and maybe a bit of struggle to achieve it. But this is all part of the journey that resilient people find themselves on, and you can too.


  1. https://www.psychologytoday.com/
  2. https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/
  3. https://www.apa.org/

Copyright © 2012-2024 Learning Mind. All rights reserved. For permission to reprint, contact us.

power of misfits book banner desktop

Like what you are reading? Subscribe to our newsletter to make sure you don’t miss new thought-provoking articles!

This Post Has One Comment

  1. Rebecca L Danis

    Resiliency is commiserate with serotonin and GABA production. Those whose bodies are not able to produce serotonin and GABA as well will not be as resilient as those whose bodies do.

Leave a Reply